Simple Christmas

This year I'm really excited for our little Christmas.  We are keeping it small and simple, much like the life we are living here in our country abode.  

Our move into a smaller home has really forced us to evaluate our possessions and consumer mentality.  In our old ginormous 2,800 sqft house we didn't really pay as much attention to what we brought in, there was always somewhere we could stick it.  When you have 1600 sqft to divide between a family of 6 nearly seven people intentionality is crucial.

So we opted to not put up our huge tree, partly because we didn't want to try and fit it in and partly because having a tree and toddler has never meshed well in our home.  Instead we bought a Norfolk pine house plant and tiny string of led lights.  It may be Charlie Brownish but we love it.  The kids had just as much fun decorating this one as they have in years past.  In fact it went better just because it was small, there was no waiting, and given its size the task held their interest with minimal squabbling over where to put great grandma Betty's beads and ornaments.  I'm also not sick from all the usual dust that accompanies Christmas decorations!

The kids begged to buy each other gifts this year.  After much discussion Phil and I decided that they needed to experience the joy of buying and giving.  However, we didn't want dollar store quality items invading our home if they all bought for everyone.  We opted to have them draw a name and select one quality gift.  Each sibling thus far has kept it a secret of who they drew.  Phil has taken each child out for some special one on one time and hasn't had to offer much assistance on the selection.  I'm choosing to be surprised at what each is giving, but it warms my heart to know they are putting great thought into the sibling name they drew.

I'll have to write later about what I made for the kids as sometimes Abi likes to pop on here and read my posts.  I can tell you this--it's something that I've wanted for them for years, and it spans all their ages, stimulates the imagination and can be played with as a group or singularly.

My hope is that however you and yours are celebrating Christmas that it is filled with as much joy and excited anticipation as our season is this year.

Merry Christmas friends!

Light night 2014

December 11 is a special day for Phil and I.  It commemorates our first date together.  As poor college kids we didn't have the funds to go out.  So dinner was served through our meal plan at the cafeteria.  Then since Phil hadn't planned anything other than hanging out watching tv, I made him drive me around to look at Christmas lights.  We've gone every year since then, braving sleep deprivation as brand new parents one year and a blizzard on another.

This year Phil surprised me with flowers.  He had the boys go down to the basement to help him With something.  A few minutes later he called us gals down.  When we got to the bottom each gent was holding a different colored carnation.  With earnest eyes Wesley looked at us and asked if we would go and look at the Christmas lights with them.  It was the most endearing thing ever.  The girls were oohing and ahhing over their flowers the boys were cheering that we said yes, and Phil came and kissed me.  It was one of those moments that you wished could have been captured on camera.

Thirteen years of dating such a wonderful man with hopefully many more to come!

Egg hunt

Today was an 'I feel great day'. The baby shifted which left moving easier for me sans round ligament pain.  I managed a walk that only left me slightly breathless instead of recouperating in the recliner.  Once we finished school I kicked us all out of the house.  Fifty degrees on a December day?  Crazy awesome!  Wanting to take advantage of the weather I decided to traipse through the forest.  My reason was threefold.  First, I wanted to move rather than sit after our school session.  Second, I wanted to see if I could find the bodies of our two missing chickens from the day that our dog's name was changed from Emmy to chicken killer.  Thankfully I didn't find any (was afraid I'd missed them and the chance to at least process them for the freezer), so I'm still guessing as to what happened.  Third, I was hoping to find some eggs.  Our latest birds were youngest case scenario six months old and still not laying.  This has been baffling me as our first hatchlings  started laying at four months and the second set at five months.  So to have birds that were at least six months old if not older and not producing was troublesome to me.  My efforts paid off as I found a well protected nest deep in the forest!  All counted there were fourteen eggs, and all of them passed the freshness test.

Now the mystery remains of how many of them are from the gals that were already laying and how many are from the 'newbies'.

Living room

I love having a formal living room.  Comfy seating surrounded by books and music. This room is quite possibly my favorite.  It is relaxing and peaceful.  If I'm not cooking, this space is where you will most likely find me.  Since it is where we all enjoy being, it happens to be the one that we invest the most time in keeping clean.  Which works out well for me if anyone happens to drop by unexpected. Of course being in the country that hasn't happened, but feel free to change that situation for me!

Meet the room that brings calm to my life in the midst of raising four children:

My seven dollar junk jaunt find.  It rocks, swivels, and reclines.  I sit here in the early mornings watching the sun come up snuggled under that quilt that my grandma made me. And if the littles haven't detected my presence I might even get to read a bit from the Word of God.  In the evenings if I'm lucky I can turn it to the window behind it and watch the sunset.

The eight foot tall bookcase we made together this fall.  Amazingly enough this isn't all the books we own, and that's after giving half of our collection to the library prior to the move.  This is the couch that we read on together under some of the favorite pictures that we've taken through the years.

This is the observation spot.  The large window looks out over our front porch.  From here we can watch the chickens antics, the combine roam the fields, and storms as they blow through.

This is probably the kids' favorite part of the room.  A mirror to dance to, and a table that caters to their imaginative play.

It might be a small room but it packs in a big punch to our daily lives!

Beautiful things

Today as I sit here listening to gungor's song beautiful things I remember back to three years ago when our precious babes Zara and Caeles slipped from my body into Jesus' arms.  Time really does help heal the heart.  There is still a void where they imprinted on my soul.  I don't expect that to ever go away.  Yesterday I held back tears as I thought of them singing praises to our God.  Today I smile as I think about them never experiencing anything but heaven.

God has given me another reason to smile today that I am finally getting around to sharing in cyberspace.  Carrying life is always exciting, but my heart leaps for joy within me this week as this new babe shifts and moves, reassuring me that all is well and that s/he is still here.

I have grieved plenty in the last week, and found it difficult to trust, but today is a day of rejoicing.  Humbled that God would find us worthy to bring another child into our family.  Happy to feel life leap within me once more.  Grateful that My plans are not His.  Wonderment over what this babe will bring to the world.

May your day be filled with as many beautiful things today as my heart is.

tie breaker baby coming sometime around 3/12/15!

Eggs

Monday the kids went into their playhouse to discover our first egg!  There was quite the hubbub.  I was humored to see where queen laid her egg.  Here in this opened bag of wood chips, the highest place in the play house.

Monday night after some quick back yard chicken web surfing, we made a nesting box.  An old wire basket on wheels outfitted with a deep pile of straw repurposed for the chickens in hopes that the eggs would be laid there.  

Yesterday I kept finding one of our roosters chilling in the nesting box.  Queen was no where near it, but she was spending a lot of alone time in the freshly weeded tree patch behind the coop.  A quick sweep in the dark by flashlight revealed nothing unusual to me.  I saw no sign of nests or eggs.

Today after loading up their feeders, I went to fill the water.  I didn't quite get the play house shut all the way.  When I returned I saw queen poking around trying to find a suitable nesting spot.  I closed the door caught her and moved her into the coops nesting box.  I closed the door so she wouldn't leave.  At breakfast I informed the girls that I suspected queen would lay an egg and they weren't to go in either door (the play house is the other half of the chicken coop outfitted with concrete floors, electricity and a rocket stove for heat).  Ninety minutes later our curioursity got the better of us and the girls went to peek in the play house windows.  They saw queen had wiggled through their peeking spot hole in the adjoining wall, and entered through the coop door.  To their delight queen had laid an egg in the nesting box.  She was singing her egg laying song and the egg was hot so she must have laid it just a minute before they entered!

Now our dilemma is whether to take the egg for our own eating or to leave it so she knows that is where to continue nesting.  Ahh the tough choices we are sometimes faced with out here on the farm :)

Pickles

Yesterday we had a family effort on canning pickles.  Wesley helped picked cucumbers.  Lizzi and Abi found the jars in the storage bin.  We talked about preserving foods and the importance of everything being clean and sterile.  Once the chopping commenced there was some resistance from the oldest one.  I told her it was important to me that she knew how to preserve food, so she can take care of her family someday and not be trying to learn in her 30's.

This projects held a lot of firsts for us.

This was my first time using a hot water bath, and it showed as I over filled the pot and had a mess of water on the stove.  Abi learned about garlic, how to pull apart the cloves and peel them.  Lizzi improved her knife skills by making slices.  Both girls made spears as well.

We are anxious to crack open a jar and taste our hard work.  Perhaps we can convince Phil to grill this weekend so we can pop some home grown pickle slices on top.

Walking path

Enter with me on the trail.  It is here that the cool shade and sounds of nature envelope.  The paths sights change from day to day.  Depending on weather there are mushrooms of differing varieties.  The catnip bows down with the morning dew.  Feathers litter the trail as the flocks of differing birds leave bits of them behind.  To date we've seen crows, swallows, robins, cardinals, meadowlark, and possibly an oriole. 

Now hidden in the woods is the top bar bee hive that Phil built prior to our move.  The bees are doing great and building comb like mad.  Unfortunately for us they are doing the building crooked which doesn't allow us to harvest any honey.

 

Rounding the bend we were delighted to discover mulberry trees.  The mild summer has extended the berry season, and the kids love going out to pick them for snack time.

Making my way through the clearing I am met with wonderful sights each morning.  It's like God smiling down on me as I soak in His creation and chat with Him.

Phil has created other paths for the kids in the woods.  It also allows easier access to the hive.  He did such a great job as it blends in as if it has always been there.  The kids love riding their bikes through the woods and frequently escape to some new fantasy playscape.

I haven't been outside (and enjoying it) this much since I was a child.  I have noticed that I feel more peaceful and grounded since immersing myself in nature and not just seeing it through my window.  I'm looking forward to my walks as the seasons pass to watch the land as it continues to change.

No doorbells in the country

I know, three months of internet silence seems rather crazy, does it not?  We are moved and settled into our charming country home.  For those of you who might not be abreast to our families adventures, let me fill you in.  We did not build on the plot of land near wood river.  Instead we bought a little acreage right on the edge of grand island.  It has marvelous shade trees, a tiny 'forest' complete with a walking path, a chicken coop and a 10x30 storage shed.

 We are head over heels with this place and are still discovering new things each day.  I am constantly in awe each morning when I meet up with God on the path--the birds tittering en masse, the glorious sunrises, cool breezes, and hazy mists--and I cannot believe that He gave us everything we had desired in location, home, and land layout.

Our little farm is gaining momentum.  The chickens are growing, the garden is starting to give us bites to add to our plates, the orchard is started, and we harvested our first honey already.  I know that we are working hard on the land, and the kids have started school up again (much to their dismay), however it doesn't feel hard.  In spite of the work, we find that life is very idyllic and easy going.  I love not feeling harried, so when I discovered that there wasn't a doorbell on our home I found it very fitting.  This is the place where it's easy to just have someone knock on the door and come and stay awhile.  That is assuming you venture past the front porch.  The peace that is over this place just soothes the soul.  My introverted nature is assuaged here, and I am grateful for friends who keep contacting me as time is fluid and the days meld into weeks faster than I realize.

Consider this your invitation to come and rejuvenate your soul alongside mine.  Just come on over, knock on my door, and stay awhile.  You'll quickly see why we love it here so much.

Funny Things

Our boys make me laugh, quite frequently.  Sometimes Wesley does something that I laugh over only to find out that he wasn't intending to be funny and I have hurt feelings to repair.  Sunday proved to be a day of good laughs though, and I'd like to write them here lest I forget.

Driving home from Grandma's Wesley was looking out the window and randomly quipped 'Happy Easter Mom!' and then resumed his sight seeing.

A few blocks later he out of the blue faked a sneeze and said ' I'm allergic to cars!'  Miles found this hilarious and started laughing.  The whole thing was too much for Phil and I to handle and we laughed hysterically and drove home through our fits of laughter and tears.

Miles is finally starting to pick up on sign language.  Last week he figured out how to sign nurse.  Now when he wants to nurse he pumps his little fist high up in the air, signs milk while grining like a bobcat.

Last night I asked him if he wanted to go ni-night.  'Ta' was his response.  I  replied back 'can you say ni-night?'  Faced with a blank stare I signed it for him by pressing my hand against my cheek.  When I asked if he could sign ni-night he took leaned forward and pressed his little hand to my cheek and said ni-ni.

Children are such a delight and we are so blessed to have them.  The other night Phil and I were trying to figure out what we did for the first 23 months of marriage before our family started.  We were coming up rather empty handed.  I am glad that we will our kids to help us mark the years together.  And I certainly look forward to the funny things that are to come.  With four children there should be an abundance of things to chuckle over!

Learning to Dance

To me the title of this post is amusing, as I've been trying to learn to dance for over a decade now.  Phil and I took lessons when first married.  Then we signed up for the next session, only Phil ended up getting his knee scoped and no one else was in the class so I had private lessons (with my adoring husband looking on in amusement).  Our friend instructing the class graduated and moved on, we became pregnant with Abi and dancing (or tripping in my case) went on the shelf.  For our fourth anniversary Phil gifted us with a session of dance classes.  Along came Lizzi and as we learned how to survive with a baby and a crazy 2.5 year old who could bypass child safety door knobs and climb chain link fences, dancing subsided once again.

Even though I have the equivalent of three left feet, I haven't quit trying to learn to dance.  I took a belly dance class when the girls were little.  That was fun, but I didn't care for the atmosphere as it was in a buddhist's dojo.  I've participated in Zumba, which was great until I threw out my back.  I've had a stack of dance videos, Wii dance, and even tried instructional clips off of youtube.  One would think that after so many years, with the amount of time, energy, and money that's been invested I would be able to dance.  Sadly, I am still as stiff and clumsy as the day I started.

 Stubborn first born that I am, I haven't given up on dreaming that I can dance.  Sometimes my enthusiasm wanes and I give up for a while.  However, the desire is refreshed each time I see a movie with an amazing dance theme, or some tv talent show.  I know that I will never look as inspiring as those ladies as I don't have a dancers body, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be able to move as fluidly as them.

A new hobby of ours is collecting records.  Most of them we've inherited or picked up from garage sales and good will.  We found a learn to dance instructional record which didn't end up so well.  That being said, Phil did purchase the Moulin Rouge soundtrack off of the internet at full price.  I thought he was crazy and let him know as much.  Now I'm the crazy one and listen to it borderline obsessively.  We all love it, even Miles will stop his playing and get up and dance.  This involves him turning in circles and bopping up and down in his fluffy diaper buns way which makes us all laugh hysterically.  Ah, funny, I suppose I should take a video of that sometime....but I digress.  My absolute favorite song on the album is El Tango De Roxanne, I could listen to it all day.  I've watched the scene from the movie too and long to dance with such passion with my husband.

One of the first times I watched that Roxanne scene I offhandedly commented that it would be fun to learn to dance like that.  I didn't think anything of it again.  Phil on the other hand, took it to heart and started watching tango dance lessons on the internet.  This weekend he let me know what he'd been up to.  Knowing how quickly frustrated I get trying to learn a new dance he told me that the first thing to do is to close my eyes and feel the rhythm and passion.  As I stood there trying to sway with the beat I could feel Phil's eyes on me, and then his fingers tracing along my arms.  After eleven years of marriage I know Phil's touches, and this one wasn't a casual hello.  I struggled to maintain composure (as well as the beat) but as a huge revelation struck me I melted into tears in his arms.  Surprised, Phil asked what was wrong.  I cried as I told him that I realized why dance is so hard for me.  Sure I've got big feet and virtually no sense of rhythm, but it's the absolute vulnerability of dance that leaves me floundering.  In the bedroom, lights are either dimmed or out, and eyes are closed as moments of ecstasy are enjoyed together, but in dance, eyes are wide open.  Phil interrupted, don't you want to look at me?  No, I don't want you to look at me, I cried back and sobbed into his shoulder (ah, the joys of being insecure about one's body).  He gently lifted my chin and said, but I like looking at you and kissed me tenderly.

After drying my eyes and blowing my nose we resumed learning our dance.  I warned him that he will never see me as vulnerable as when I am before him dancing.  To make sure to be patient and gentle for my heart is laid out before you in full daylight.  Our children had gathered by then and as Phil took my hand, we danced the first four steps of the El Tango De Roxanne around the living room in (near) perfect harmony.

Downsizing and Direction

We started selling our extra belongings a few weeks ago knowing that we would be downsizing.  In the beginning I found the exchange of cash for clean space to be quite thrilling.  It was a bit harder to swallow when it came time to sell the gorgeous armoire that I had thrifted last summer.  Last night the tears silently flowed as I watched our piano find it's way to a new family.  Phil and I had wavered back and forth for months, do we take it along or leave it behind.  I had hoped that the new owners would want to have a sturdy upright, but they don't.  When we first viewed our house I shrieked and jumped up and down when I saw the sign that the piano stayed.  I was already in love with the place, and a free piano to boot, I was sold.  I told Phil that this was the place for me.  We both felt it when we saw the place and I told him to make it happen.  He did, and we've loved this place for nearly five years.  Still, that doesn't lessen the sting of giving up something precious to obtain a dream.  I wonder if this is how the pioneer mamas felt when they left their fine chinas behind when they loaded up a covered wagon and headed west?

Now we have some direction in our life, and it wasn't the one that we've been working on for the last few months.  In regards to building a little dream house out in the country on the parcel of land we bought, doors kept getting slammed shut.  For weeks we were going into a weekend on bad news or frustrated with the process.  Finally, the bank gave us a thumbs up and we were excited, but then on a Friday they were double checking and found out that our debt to income ratio would be too high if we started building while owning our home.  Yes, we knew that, but the shocker was that we couldn't even apply and find out if they would back our project until we sold our home.  Phil was scared, what if we sell our home only to hear the bank say no they wouldn't fund our dream.  We decided that perhaps a better course of action would be to downsize into a smaller mortgage payment and save up and build as we could afford it.  To see if we could put that plan into action we looked at numerous open houses that would fit the bill, only to be grossly disappointed on the amount of space that would afford us.  As a family of six with children who will only be getting larger and not smaller we figured that anything under 1,500sqft would be too little.

Our search left us feeling bleak and second guessing if we could do anything other than stay put.  Perhaps we were just destined to be urban homesteaders and make the most out of the land we had?  We tentatively made some plans of how could we achieve that goal in town.  However, when your city has stipulations on what animals you can raise in your backyard it's difficult to do.  Phil randomly peeked in on craigslist to see if there was anything of interest.  Immediately his attention was grabbed by this little ad http://grandisland.craigslist.org/reo/4386414517.html (the under contract part wasn't there at the time)  He called and found out the location and that it was just on the outskirts of town.  I held my breath as I tried to overhear the details.  After hanging up Phil started scoping out the property online.  There were trees, the property was off of a main road, outbuildings, and it was in our price range.  I was having a hard time concealing my excitement, surely this was too good to be true!  Just as we had glanced over what information we could find the owner called us back and invited us to come out and see the place for ourselves.  We quickly rounded up the kids and drove over.  I was nervous when I saw the little house come into view.  Desperate for a coat of paint, my mind wondered how bad this place was going to be on the inside.  As we walked in, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief.  The home was just as lovely as the pictures made it out to be, and then some.  We spent a whole hour chatting with the owners, walking around the property, and falling in love in general.  We drove away madly whispering so the children couldn't hear.  I was sold, and ready to make a move.  Phil's biggest reservation was the lack of dining space and single car garage.  I told him that sometimes you 'just know', like we did with our house and my heart was singing, 'this is home'.  We agreed that it would be best to call up the wise people in our lives.  They knew of the frustrations we were facing, and we of their misgivings they personally had on the building project.  Our wise ones gave us a thumbs up saying that no we weren't crazy, that this would be a better move for our family.  We could get the lower mortgage payment and the lifestyle we were craving all in the same property.

For the next week I don't think that I breathed.  The bank was willing to give us a bridge loan, but the idea of buying one before selling the other was too risky.  So we waited (not very patiently I'll confess) until our house sold.  You already know how excruciatingly painful that week of waiting was for me.  Interestingly enough exactly one hour after writing about it we had an offer come through.  Those next seven hours were maddening with all of the counter offers that were had.  It was making me ill and I finally told Phil, just do what you feel is right, but please know that I don't want to lose this buyer.  We've prayed so long for them, I don't want to lose them or the chance to buy that farm.  Phil was able to reach a place where we got more than the quick sell price but just a bit less than what he wanted.  The things that man does to show his love for me is quite astounding.

I know it seems strange that I haven't written about this before today.  I was paranoid that if I wrote it out, somehow it would all crumble and disappear.  Then I realized that I was in the grips of fear's bondage.  Perfect love casts out all fear, so I have asked the Father to break me free so I may speak of the marvelous thing that He is doing for our family.  His timing is always amazing, especially when you get to look back and see how it all came into place.  Each door had to close exactly when it did or we wouldn't have reached the point of looking for a smaller place.  If our house had sold on the first day it was on the market, we wouldn't have gotten the lower price on the farm that we're now contracted into.  Our realtor told us to expect hiccups along the way, but so far everything is going smoothly, the seller papers are all ready for us to sign as I type this up.  The buyers haven't done any further bartering or requesting.  It's going so well that my paranoid side is popping up.  Phil says the fact that everything is going so well is proof that God is working for us.  Yes, my friends, yes He is!  I am looking forward to telling you even more of the blessings that He bestows on us as we journey on to the next phase of our lives.

Lessons in waiting

We are one week into having our home listed as For Sale.  Let me tell you I am starting to get a grasp on why they say that moving is one of the most stressful events a marriage can endure.  After putting a price tag that the realtor said was a quick sale price we are scratching our heads as to why there have been a dozen groups through here with not one offer.

We are learning that waiting is hard, and not knowing what will happen even harder.  I am clinging to God and asking Him to reveal His will to us.  Does He want us to stay, move, or build?  I am waiting for Him to answer.

The upside is that we got our to do list checked off, so we are getting to enjoy the fruits of our hard labor.  Well sort of, as I have to keep after the kids to keep everything tidy and put away once completed just in case we get a call that there is someone wanting to see the house now.  This isn't all for naught as it's excellent practice for all of us to make our beds daily, clean up our messes promptly, and learn contentment where we are.

Still, we are unsettled.  Most of our belongings are packed up in Rose's basement.  Half of my kitchen is there too.  I kept only the basics for cooking and baking.  We have a couch, bed, deep freeze, file cabinet and sewing machine to occupy the basement rooms.  It is so empty it echoes downstairs.  We are missing our books and toys.  The kids are fussy wanting to know when we are moving to a farm.  Phil and I feel the same insistence internally.

I have always longed for a show worthy home like what appears in magazines and pinterest, and now that I've got it, I'm not enjoying it nearly as much as I thought.  It's sterile, sad, and uninviting.  There are no personal touches as we are attempting to maintain neutral to appease to the masses.

I am looking forward to when this difficult season of life is over so we can resume having personality fill the home, small messes under our feet, masses of memories smiling down from the walls, and the laughter loved ones ringing through the house.

Growing Up

Last Thursday Miles figured out how to stand up from the floor instead of pulling up on the furniture.  That night during Bible study he used his new found discovery to push his skills even farther.  He would walk around the room clasping his hands.  Even when he tripped and fell he didn't let go of his hands.  He'd just fall and roll to the side and then giggle at the (apparent) hilariousness of his antics.  This kept us all in stitches (four sleep deprived adults don't need much to entertain them I guess!).  That was pretty much the end of his crawling.  He now is a tiny upright person and trots around and even pivots rapidly to avoid siblings or the dog.  Over the weekend I watched my baby bloom into a tiny toddler as he has been 'talking' more too.

Wesley surprised us these last few days at his number recognition.  He knows almost all of his numbers up to ten.  He likes to sit in on Lizzi's school lessons once in a while.  I'm always amazed at how much they learn from each other.  I had the joy of pitching to him last night and was delighted at how many times his bat connected with the ball.

Lizzi has almost completed her first math book.  It feels like eons ago that we had first cracked it open and could barely figure out how to make five with popsicle sticks.  Now she is learning to read a clock and count basic change.  She has also shown us some go get it attitude.  Lizzi wants to play softball like Abi, so she has taken initiative to ask daddy almost every day to go out and play catch with her.  She is also quite determined to figure out how to do more with a crochet hook than just chain and is making some strides there as well.

Abi got to participate in the homeschooling group's first ever geography fair.  I was so proud of her manning the table, chatting with adults, sharing her knowledge, passing out trifold brochures that she had created on the computer and serving green tea.  Our table might have been the simplest one by design, but she knew her stuff and was only a smidge bit timid to offer it up.  She is also learning the value of hard work and teamwork with the softball league that she's participating in.

I find it refreshing once in a while to take a step back and see how much my kids have changed.  Since our days mostly look the same it's rewarding for me to see their growth.

Short Cut Baked Beans

I've tried out a lot of homemade baked beans recipes on my family.  None ever hit the yum spot, we all just ate it out of duty.  Today however, I just winged it and there were mmm's all around.

If you're not into cooking dried beans, I'm sure that the canned variety would work just fine.  I would however, rinse the canned ones before saucing.

Never tried cooking your own beans?  Nothing could be easier!  Set them in a bowl of water the night before.  If you plan far enough in advance you can soak them for a few days just changing out water at night for fresh.  I've soaked beans for two days and was able to enjoy them with no digestive discomfort.  Put them in the crockpot with fresh water in the morning on low for a good 5-6 hours, a tablespoon of baking soda to help the softening process.  Check for doneness (is that seriously a word?  Seems so strange, doneness!), and drain off cooking water.  Proceed to sauce those babies.

Here's the secret sauce 'recipe' that I will gladly shout from the mountaintops so no one will have to pay a premium for Bush's (because we're baked bean snobs and don't care for the off brands that we've tried).

Half salsa and half barbecue sauce.

Do you feel a bit let down at how simple it is?  I'll admit I was rather shocked at how well it turned out, and that there were delighted people over fussy ones being served homemade baked beans.  I have mentioned how many times I've tried making my own, right?

For my friends who really need more details than that: I used Hunt's Salsa (my dad brought it up from colorado, not sure if it's sold here) about 3 tablespoons of Kraft's Roasted Garlic Barbecue (don't recommend alone as it's very overpowering on the garlic taste) and Famous Dave's Rich and Sassy Sauce.

Now that I've got a main staple of our spring/summer/fall diet finally figured out--Let grilling season commence!

quick update

Instead of boring you with my frustration and disappointment over not reaching our original listing date, I shall regal you with what else has been happening in our lives.

Abi is participating in an indoor softball league.  She has showed promise as a catcher (just like her dad and grandma) and gets to attend a special catchers clinic before the Saturday practices.  She has also earned the loving nickname of Abi the Animal after hitting 8 pitches in a row from the machine.

Lizzi has taught herself how to crochet.  She has also shown skills in drawing and has been enrolled in an art class to start this month.

Wesley has ample time during our school hours to engage in imaginary play and frequently builds towers with blocks or forts with pillows and blankets.  Yesterday as I was placing Craisins on his plate he asked when I would go grocery shopping and buy some real fruit.

Miles can walk well when he chooses to, although he hasn't figured out how to stand up directly from the floor yet.  Last night he helped me with the laundry by pulling his diapers out of the washer, walked to the dryer and threw them in.

Phil had the privilege of being interviewed for the Grand Island Independent last week.  Although he was a nervous wreck, he did a fine job demonstrating what Financial Literacy looks like for his class.

I was asked to serve on the Library's Early Literacy Focus Board to help enhance the Library's service to the community.  Tonight is the first meeting.  I'm really excited to see what ideas the other members are bringing to the table.

Next week we start the homeschooling coop classes which we've all been looking forward to since the beginning of the year!

Curious and Curioser

For over a year now, God has been prompting me to tell my story.  I have by and large ignored Him.  But, He consistently reminds me that my story needs to be told.  Sometime last year (I think, I've totally lost track of time since being pregnant with Miles!) our church did a cardboard sign testimony.  People were to write out their testimonies and silently walk the stage, hold them up, flip them over if they used both sides, and then exit.  I thought the idea was really neat and wanted to join in.  For days I wracked my brain on what to put on my sign.  I never came up with anything and didn't participate.  As I watched the testimonies walk the stage I felt a twinge of something I couldn't put my finger on.  I think that is when the Spirit started prompting me to tell my story.

I resumed blogging as a way to tell my story, but parred back because I felt I couldn't keep it up.  Yesterday, I was invited to give my 'mama testimony' for MOPS' final meeting of the year.  I was humbled and shocked to hear that I had been on both of the coordinators hearts.  In fact it kind of stupefied me into silence (I know, pretty big huh) which the caller had interpreted as indecisiveness.  She said I could make my decision later and get back to her if I needed time to think about it.  I responded that we are always supposed to be ready to give our testimonies and that I would do it.  Even though it means getting up in front of my peers and speaking for 20-25 minutes.  I quipped that it is a good thing I've got 9+ years of mothering archives to rely on to talk for that long!

Prior to and since that phone call, I've been reflecting a lot on why God keeps calling me forth to share my story.  It's not very exciting, in fact it's really down to earth. The super condensed version is that I grew up in the church, decided to give my life to Christ at the age of 14, and have faithfully walked with Him since.  I obviously am not a mind reader by any stretch of the imagination, but I am wondering if perhaps God wants to use my ordinary story to inspire others like myself to keep on keeping on, to walk near Him, and fight the good fight, etc.  At any rate, I could use prayers to know exactly what God wants me to say at that meeting at the end of April!

Packing

At first I found packing to be exhilarating.  It was so much fun to see items go into a box, knowing that when we opened it later it'd be fun like on Christmas morning.

Now that I'm past the easy stage and entering the 'can I live without this for a few months' I have noted that it's almost like a slow death.  The death of this current place in life.  Even though we are most excited about what is coming next, there are still many dreams that will not see fruition in this home.  Plans for a basement master, larger deck to house my outdoor furniture, and tree house expansions, for example, are no longer talked about.  Then there are the memories of how we bought the place and how we've slowly molded it to a home over the past few years.  Our two boys were conceived in this house, and one was born within these walls.

Call me a sentimental fool, but as I'm packing up kitchen spices and equipment that I won't see for a long while, I'm saddened by the process.  Of course I can always open the boxes up if there is an item I really do need to use.  I think though that ripping the tape off the box is akin to removing a bandaid--no matter how you do it there is still some stinging involved.  The item will still have to be placed back in the box and I'll still have some lingering sorrow over leaving.

Change is hard, but I know it will be worth it in the end.  It always has been.  Some of the dearest people in my life have entered because of change.  For now I'll just remind myself of the great adventure we'll have, and the amazing new friends who will join me for the ride.

Estate Auction

Tissue Notice, I went through more than a handful writing this!

Yesterday was my grandparents' estate auction.  I had been dreading this event from the moment I heard it was happening.  The idea of strangers pilfering through their belongings and then hauling them away was unsettling.  I told Phil that I didn't want to even be there.  However, I knew myself well enough to know that, as hard as it may be, if I didn't go I'd regret it down the road.

The original plan was to get there ahead of time, see everything laid out along with the antiques that even my mother had never seen, and then journey on down the road to Omaha for a lego robotics convention.  Plans changed though as Phil and I both had a rough night of sleep.  Miles didn't sleep worth a hoot which meant I didn't either, and Phil couldn't sleep as he is just starting to walk this grief stricken road of losing a beloved grandparent.  His Papa Zlomke passed early Friday morning and with it being the last day of the trimester Phil was so busy he didn't get to process that information until evening.  With a heavy heart, Phil wasn't so sure that he wanted to try and pretend to be chipper and drive all over the countryside.  We are learning that grief is very taxing on one's energy.

We ended up staying for the whole auction.  My heart paused when I saw everything laid out.  There were so many things I had never seen, so in that respect it was like any other auction.  There were just as many objects that had lots of memories attached, trinkets from around the house, and the furniture.  Like Phil said, seeing grandpa's chair sitting empty against the wall was the final piece of closure that yes, he's really gone, this era is really over.  It was the hardest part of the auction.  That, and seeing the bed that they breathed their last in, and their chairs.  I kept having to turn my head and not look, because as upsetting as it was to see them empty of my grandparents' presence, the times I glanced and saw strangers sitting and trying them out was worse.  Part of me wanted to run and shoo them away, and the other part agreed with my dad when he said 'I just want to tell them to treat them well as there are so many precious memories'

I am very glad to have stayed the whole time.  It allowed me to complete the journey of losing my grandparents in the physical realm.  Moreso, I am proud to have been there to support my parents and aunt who were all very close.  My dad worked side by side with my grandpa for almost a decade and was just as much of a son to grandpa if not more than his own.  I am glad that God gave me the strength to get through the day with only minimal tears, so I could be the arms that held them all tight and offer the love they needed.

At the end of the auction there were some boxes of random items that didn't sell.  We offered to take a load to goodwill for my Aunt and ease her burden.  I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the lamp that had sat by my grandma's chair sitting amongst the boxes.  I had secretly wanted that lamp, but didn't feel it right to ask as I already had so many of their possessions.  Aunt Connie said to take it and Phil said keep it and I smiled as I loaded up the lamp.  My friend told me that my guardian angel knew I needed it and saved it back for me.  Phil and I sorted through the boxes last night (some had books which we wanted to keep).  I opened one and there on the top was grandpa's glass.  I caught my breath and then ran sobbing into Phil's arms, I wasn't expecting to see that.  I was surprised that it wasn't with the rest of the set, and I held it back to keep for now.

This has been a hard road to journey.  I am grateful for the love that has surrounded me.  Phil never once questioned my need to go, he supported me through every trip.  Driving us down, holding my hand when we left while I stared out the window with tears streaming down my face.  Our budget is very tight and the gas allotment allows for one out of town trip a month.  Financing never came up, if I needed to go we went.  I didn't realize this until after the fact and it caused me to cry tears of gratitude.  It's made my love for Phil grow, and to appreciate that he is emotionally tuned in to my needs.  I just hope that I can be half as amazing to him as we say goodbye to his grandpa this week as he has been for me.

This week's rabbit race

This has been the busiest of weeks for us!  Monday was a partial school day, then lots of social gatherings for the children.  It was so great for them to get out of our abode and mingle and laugh and enjoy the great outdoors with the fantastically unseasonably warm weather.

Tuesday the kids were absolutely nutty.  In three hours from waking I have not heard so many no's, screaming, or crying in the weeks since Abi has come home combined.  We even had a knock 'em down drag it out fight that I had to untangle.  Most of our schooling day was spent on how to interact appropriately.  There was a whole lot of 'circle up' time.  Circle up is where we sit on the floor holding hands.  Hurt feelings are discussed, better choice options offered, and a look each sibling in the eye and give a genuine statement of what you like about him/her (no 'I like your shirt' comments accepted), followed by hugs.  In light of this when another homeschooling friend asked about getting together at the park I practically jumped into her arms through the phone lines in joy.  It was just what we all needed.  Spending the whole afternoon at the park was amazing.  The kids burned off oodles of energy, reestablished working (and speaking!) together nicely,  and I got to soak up some sun and precious friend time.  We all came home tired but refreshed.  My pastor's wife met up with me that afternoon and helped me with some staging and tips for showing the place.  As if that wasn't enough, she said some very encouraging words that breathed life into my soul.

Today it was off to the races for us.  Early morning dental appointment, library, quick trip across town to get some homeschool materials from a friend, pb&j lunch (my idea of fast food!), a short rest for the kids while I packed up my sewing room, after school playmate, and then meeting with the contractor again.  Good news is being that we have done everything short of sending the rough draft of the blueprints his way!  I cannot believe how many thousands (yes you read that right, thousands) of dollars we'll save by doing the finishing work ourselves.  He even used some happy to our ears words like 'doable' and 'cheap for a new build' and 'if I quote you over your budget don't hire me'.

The bright turquoise room is now a lovely neutral (boring according to Abi) gray.  Our to do list is now down to almost nothing!  Two missing tiles in the master bath, transition floor piece in the main bath as well as one piece of trim that Menards was out of stock, rehang closet doors in the boys' and our rooms.  If we kick our rear into gear we could be ready to list one week earlier than planned.  If not, we'll be right on target.

I'll try and check in again before too long, but this is a crazy busy season for me right now.  As much as I miss writing on a daily basis, something has to give in order for me to accomplish the tasks that are before me.  I just wanted y'all to know that I'm still alive and kicking and that we're getting closer and closer to our dreams.

Oh By The Way...

...the realtor is coming in a hour.  Those words tumbled into my ear as Phil called me on his way home from work last night.  Panicked I flew into action and grabbed the kids to help me get the house looking halfway presentable (read: no immediate tripping hazards throughout the whole house).  I am grateful that it was a spur of the moment notice instead of long term.  I didn't have a chance to worry and fuss about getting everything just right.

I am not ashamed to admit I was mostly terrified the whole time she was here.  It is very nerve wracking having someone scrutinize your whole house from top to bottom.  Open each closet door (ha! at least the ones that have doors on them) and see all the skeletons tucked inside.  It felt like being in math class taking a comprehensive term final.  However, she was a very pleasant realtor with kind words and few concerns.  There are a few things that we could fix but shouldn't be deal breakers if we don't.  The only thing that she strongly suggested was painting the girls' bright turquoise room to a more neutral friendly tone.  One room to paint?  Yep, I can do that.

The high points were the compliments on the nice space we've created.  Finding out that the guest room in the basement is a conforming bedroom and we can list the house as a four bedroom home was wonderful news.  Knowing that we're selling at a time when the listings are few but the buyers are serious (they'd have to be or they wouldn't be trudging through snow and the bitter cold) puts odds in our favor of the house selling quickly.

The tough news to hear was my needing to clear more out of the home and remove pictures from the walls.  You want potential buyers to see the house, not the family who's living there.  I feel like I've already given away or packed up so much of our belongings that it stung to hear that it wasn't enough yet.  I guess it will be good practice for us all to go without for a while.  Who knows, perhaps in a few months when we go to unpack those boxes we'll wonder why we even bothered to keep what was inside.

When Sleep Desperation Kicks In

After a week of Miles waking up nearly every hour of the night I was beyond tired.  And Desperate.  Nothing sounded so good as a dark quiet screaming free night.  One that would hopefully included sleep.  I would have taken quiet so long as my sleepless nights didn't include him waking up screaming in my ear for various reasons.  Bad dreams, new teeth, developmental milestones (he's working on walking!), constipation, snuffly nose.  You name it, he was probably dealing with it.  Well, not just him, but Phil and I as well.  You know the nighttime noise level is bad when it wakes Phil up.  That man can sleep through the apocalypse and not notice.

I bemoaned to my friend about what to do.  Knowing that we are non traditional in our sleep accommodations she suggested the pack and play.  Maybe he just needed some space?  That had crossed my mind as well.  However, bending over and doing a dead weight lift in the middle of the night sounded as unhealthy as it did unpleasant.  The first night we tried a feather quilt on the floor, but that didn't offer enough touchable boundaries and he freaked out.  Then I had the brilliant idea of stealing the toddler bed away from Wesley.  We had used it once before to help Wesley transition out of our bed and into his own while pregnant with Miles, perhaps it would work again this time?  This is the earliest I've ever started moving a child out of our bed.  But desperate times call for some sort of action, right?

If you can imagine a 5'8" lady curled up nursing a 30" toddling baby, then you can envision what has been happening in this tiny bed.  I have decided that at this season of life I can nurse him to sleep, and then back to sleep once again, after that Miles can crawl up in our bed and snuggle next to us.  This has allowed me to get a few hours of the precious (quiet and touch free) sleep that I've been needing, but the closeness and security that Miles craves.

What did we do for Wesley?  A month ago this wouldn't have been an issue, he would have just slept in the closet nook.  However, since that's been dismantled and reconverted back to it's former closet glory, that option was out.  The kid probably would have been perfectly happy to have a sleeping bag, but to appease my concerns we set up a camping cot for him.  He has been on cloud nine.  He takes good care to ensure his blankets and pillows are arranged just right.  The cot has also been a wonderful new imagination spot.  Yesterday he figured out that he can drape the blankets down over the side and have a fort.  The cot has also become a puppet theater and a hideout from the lions.  Last night, true to form of our children and their odd sleep behaviors, Wesley slept underneath the bed instead of on it.  I now am waiting for the children to discover that they can tip the cot on the side and hide behind it and have snowball fights with socks, or something to that sort of endeavor.

This has reinforced the fact of life that I constantly forget.  Life is fluid, and what works changes as time progresses.  How long will this work?  Maybe last night was the last time that Miles will sleep in that little bed for many months.  Perhaps it will become the new normal. What I can guarantee is that we all have to adapt (especially me) and find what works best for the here and now.

Grandpa's Laugh

Saturday morning I awoke with tears streaming down my face.  I had a hauntingly beautiful dream that touched me deeply.

In the dream I was helping my sister get ready for her wedding.  She had her dress on and I was getting everything tucked and smoothed and just so.  She had thrown her hair up in a pony tail and I was chastising her that a bride needed something more special than a ponytail.  As I was putting bobby pins in her hair and making her hair lovely, I heard a hearty laugh.  I whipped around and there leaning in the doorframe with his head back and hands on belly was my grandfather.  I couldn't believe how dashing he looked.  In a tux, and looking about fifty years old, he was full of life and laughing heartily.  I ran over to embrace him and as I did I woke up.

 I cried for my loss of getting to see and hold him in my dreams.  I cried as I realized that I don't think he laughed with that full-of-life laugh of his after grandma died.  At least not that I heard.  I cried to know that I had an eternal glimpse of him.  I cried to know I wouldn't hear that laugh on this side of heaven.  And I cry now as I remember and memorialize that dream with words on this 'paper'.

Spoon Surprise

This morning I decided I would skim some of Wesley's oatmeal off and give it to Miles for breakfast.  I wasn't sure what to expect since Miles hadn't eaten oatmeal before, and the few times I've tried spoon feeding him it hasn't gone so well.  I spooned some yumminess and brought it to his mouth and Miles snatched the spoon away from me.  I assumed that he was going to chuck it to the floor as he'd done previously.  Instead, that little guy totally surprised me and started feeding himself!  I quit giving Miles silverware probably two months ago when he discovered gravity and found it more amusing to pitch the spoon over the side of the highchair than practice with it.  It was reminiscent of the first time he grabbed a toy and picked it up, I had no idea he could do that.  I rushed to grab the camera and enjoyed watching him self feed from a utensil through the viewfinder.  The expressions Miles made while eating were quite entertaining.  The only assistance he needed was getting the (thick and sticky) oatmeal onto the spoon otherwise he did all the work!

bringing food up

such a big spoon for a pint sized person!

yum, I like oatmeal

taking a break from the spoon and using fingers

I got excited when I saw him switch to his left hand

but then he switched back to his right, looks like I'll be the only south paw in the family

Siblings

This has been a long week of parenting and I'm only halfway through it.  The kids are cranky and have cabin fever.  They've tried going outside to play in the snow, but it's so cold that the time is very short before they are back in again.  There are fights, cruel words, stomping, tears, and other things that I'm trying to forget.  It's been enough to make me wonder why in the world am I choosing to stay home and home school these nutty people.

I know I'm not the only one to feel that way.  Even (more) veteran moms are telling me their kids have become cantankerous.  I'm sure there were days that my mom considered leaving us at a babysitters, shipping us off to boarding school, or being anywhere other than with us crazies.  So in honor of all us mommies who are parenting through some of the not so fun times with our kids I'm posting this picture.  A picture of siblings who grew up together and did all of the normal sibling stuff.  Even though we are spread apart geographically, our bond is strong.  None of us are very good at picking up the phone and calling 'just because' but when we get back together again just watch out because you won't be able to get a word in edgewise.  I love my brothers and sister and miss them dreadfully.  But when there are time and distance constraints on your relationship you appreciate every moment together.

Zach, me, Taylor (in back), Ken (front), Auntie Young, Mandy

This picture is my reminder for today that yes mothering is tough, and there are lots of days when I want to throw in the towel and be done.  This is one of my hopes for my children-- a deep bond with each of their siblings--that neither time nor space will break.  A bond that will last well after my life has ended.  If my children grow up to follow Christ and love their siblings as deeply as I do mine, I will consider my role in their lives a raging success.

Making Progress

This weekend we had a big push and we got a lot of work done on our to do list of things to fix up for selling this place.  I started friday by fixing up the stairs where a few of the edge pieces had fallen off.  That was my first experience using a finishing nail gun.  It was scary fun wielding such a powerful tool!

Phil tried his hand out with the gun that night only to find out that it was too strong for the kitchen kick boards we had selected.  Frustrated and tired we gave up and went to bed.  While sleeping, my brain came up with the solution of using the hand held nail gun.  Less power = success on getting those boards in place upon waking! The rest of Saturday was spent at church for a meeting and then with friends.

Sunday found me telling Phil that we had to have a work day or we were never going to make our goal.  We had avoided finishing up the trim work for three years, it was time to conquer.  Phil worked on the hallway while I spent the morning spackling and priming the living and dining room walls where the old trim had been.  We broke for church, lunch, and a few games and then headed back home.  Once the hallway was completed and painting finished we headed out for a super bowl gathering at his sister's house.  We left at halftime in order to get the kids in bed at a good time.  When we got home I suggested that we finish the job.  Everything was out from the walls, and the trim and saw were on the table (great time saver to not have to run back and forth to the garage to cut wood but huge mess maker!).  Phil took me up on it and he cut the trim while I put the kids to bed.  We got all of it done with the exception of one wall as there is a floor board that needs to be fixed before nailing the trim.

I feel like I can breathe a bit easier now that the trim work project is nearing completion.  All of the remaining tasks are small ones that require more time than energy.  It feels pretty good to get some of these home improvement skills.  Power sander, pneumatic nail gun, wall paper stripping, switching electrical outlets, and a pleasant surprise--I even reattached the fireplace mantle on my own.  It's going to take a lot more than those skills (or paying the contractor, we're still hashing those details out) to see our little dream home built this summer.  Next up, getting the realtor in here and telling us what else needs to be done to sell our abode!

What Social Anxiety Feels Like (to me)

A while back I mentioned that I have been struggling with social anxiety more and more.  This isn't a new phenomenon in my life.  I've just been more aware of how acute it has become ever since having a mild panic attack in Sams Club while pregnant with Miles.  Saturday I had a real bad time with it and wanted to share what social anxiety is like for me.

When going to an event or place that I'm unfamiliar with, or uncomfortable at, I get nervous. Butterflies begin flying in my stomach and soon group together to become tangled into a knot.  So I enter the social event with a stomach pain.  If there are too many unfamiliar people, or the group is tightly dispersed my checks flush, I feel flustered and my mouth gets dry.  As the flight or flight response kicks in all I want to do is high tail it out of the area.  If I can't get away which is usually the case, my fingers and toes get cold.  Sometimes to the point where they feel like they are asleep.  At this point I quit making eye contact and walk briskly around with my head down.  My arms are either crossed because of my stomach ache, or my hands are shoved deep in my pockets trying to regain warmth.  Sometimes I wring my hands out of nervousness.  Now I'm sweating profusely even though my hands are so dang cold I can barely feel them.  If I'm still in the situation, my breathing gets more shallow as the knot from my stomach rises higher making it hard to breathe.  Since I now am not taking in the full amount of oxygen, the area around my mouth and eyes start to get tingly.  Dizziness follows and now I'm just trying to hold on until it's over without making a scene.  I can't focus, don't talk, and if asked a question make curt remarks.   The panic attack in Sams Club was the only time I've escalated worse than this and my vision started to go dark like when you stand up too fast.  I'm guessing that if I hadn't stopped and forced some deep breaths I may have passed out.

Now that you know my secret struggle you may be wondering (as I am) what is she doing to help herself through this?  An excellent question to which I don't have an answer, but am open to suggestions.  The one thing I know is that as a member of a church with 800+ people attending on a weekly basis I will be faced with a trigger situation continuously until I have over come this issue.

What would you do if you suffered from social anxiety?

Emergency Room Visit

 Warning: if blood makes you squeamish you may want to skip this post!

On the way to the hospital last night, Phil and I remarked that in nine years of parenting we felt pretty blessed that this was our first trek for stitches.

Right as we were getting ready to start our small group study I heard Wesley screaming.  It sounded like his pain wail so I felt it best to investigate.  As I reached the stair well I heard one of the girls say quick go get mom.  I raced up knowing that if they felt it appropriate to interrupt our group that it must be bad.

I entered the girls room to Wesley screaming with a washcloth pressed up on his head and blood streaming down his face.  I lifted the rag and saw a deep gash and knew this was going to require more than a snuggle and bandaid.  I swooped him up and hustled down the stairs.  As I entered the family room I said Phil I think this is going to need stitches.  The buzz of activity stopped and Phil confirmed that yes it did.  Our friends quickly gathered up their belongings as we deliberated prompt care vs emergency room.  Given the lateness of the hour it had to be a trip to the hospital.  Our friends were so sweet and helped the girls get ready and took them back to their house.  I quickly changed Miles and packed a diaper bag while Phil got Wesley calmed down and out to the van.

Once they had a chance to take his vitals and get him settled in they took a look at the gash.  'I think we can glue it' was the doctor's opinion.  Tripping and falling into the leg of the loft bed left a clean edged gash.  The doctor and nurse were so amazed at how calm Wesley was.  I told them to be thankful that it was past his bedtime and that sleepiness was playing a large role in his good patient demeanor.  Usually Wesley will scream at the sight of blood, and will continue to scream until it has stopped.

They got all the blood cleaned off his face and numbed up the wound.  The doctor came back and glued it shut.  Lo and behold it stuck!  Yes, bad joke, but you gotta make light of a not so fun situation.  After chilling for a bit longer to make sure it dried we were on our way.  Picked up the kids from our friends and went home to go to bed.  Wesley was very excited about the stickers and rubber duck the nurse gave him and chatted about it the whole way home.  Then the girls asked about their own previous emergency room visits.

One dose of pain medication and a good night sleep and you'd never know the experience Wesley had.  Well, other than the glued gash on his head!

waiting room

poor baby!

being a good patient

slightly terrified of the whole process

resting while waiting for numbing agent to do its magic

numbed up and ready to be glued

passed out waiting for the glue to dry

today he's good as new!

Meeting with a General Contractor

Yesterday late in the afternoon we made the next step toward our dream.  We met with a general contractor.  We were armed with a page full of questions and an almost completed set of drawings.  I spent half of the afternoon getting the house ready and attempting (unsuccessfully) to relax the nervous knot in my stomach.  I internalize stress and it wreaks havoc with my tummy.  When the G.C. came I was still a bundle of nerves, and just sat and listened to him and Phil speak.  Phil has quite an intense stare.  It really comes out in debates and questioning (I'm guessing his students are subjected to it frequently) and usually makes me uncomfortable.  I was impressed with how the G.C. fielded all of Phil's inquiries (with an equally unnerving stare).

We had lots of good conversation.  G.C. thinks our plans are pretty neat in an oddly workable way.  We learned that a leech field is better for our situation than a septic system given the flood plain issue. Different types of foundation were discussed.  G.C. helped us figure out who to contact for getting power and a culvert out there.  The stomach sinking portion of the conversation was when he said that plans always change during a build, it's inevitable.  Inside I thought 'please no, we've been working out the details for almost six months!' and 'we are going to have to be super careful with the changes we make so our house doesn't cost us a fortune'.  The cheer worthy parts happened when we found out that building in the country is a lot more lax than in the city, and when G.C. said we had done 90% of the work already.

Our next step is figuring out exactly what we want the G.C. to do.  He knows that we are DIYers and want to do as much of it that we can ourselves.  There are obvious portions that we cannot do such as the foundation, plumbing, and electrical.  We know we can do the finishing touches like trim work and painting, which will save us a few thousand dollars.  It is the gray areas of knowledge and experience in framing and drywalling that we will have to decide who is doing it.  I have a hunch that there will be many hours of deliberation coming up for Phil and I as we hash out the details.

As I sit here and type, my nerves are strung up tight. It's getting so real to me now.   We are rapidly leaving the dreaming zone for the working reality.  In one month we will be listing our house.  Getting a bid from the General Contractor.  Woah, yeah, it's getting real.  I think I better go and breathe for a bit.  As the days fly by and we dive even deeper into building our own little homestead I'm going to need to breathe more and more.  Best get to practicing!