Our boys make me laugh, quite frequently. Sometimes Wesley does something that I laugh over only to find out that he wasn't intending to be funny and I have hurt feelings to repair. Sunday proved to be a day of good laughs though, and I'd like to write them here lest I forget.
Driving home from Grandma's Wesley was looking out the window and randomly quipped 'Happy Easter Mom!' and then resumed his sight seeing.
A few blocks later he out of the blue faked a sneeze and said ' I'm allergic to cars!' Miles found this hilarious and started laughing. The whole thing was too much for Phil and I to handle and we laughed hysterically and drove home through our fits of laughter and tears.
Miles is finally starting to pick up on sign language. Last week he figured out how to sign nurse. Now when he wants to nurse he pumps his little fist high up in the air, signs milk while grining like a bobcat.
Last night I asked him if he wanted to go ni-night. 'Ta' was his response. I replied back 'can you say ni-night?' Faced with a blank stare I signed it for him by pressing my hand against my cheek. When I asked if he could sign ni-night he took leaned forward and pressed his little hand to my cheek and said ni-ni.
Children are such a delight and we are so blessed to have them. The other night Phil and I were trying to figure out what we did for the first 23 months of marriage before our family started. We were coming up rather empty handed. I am glad that we will our kids to help us mark the years together. And I certainly look forward to the funny things that are to come. With four children there should be an abundance of things to chuckle over!
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Monday, April 21, 2014
Learning to Dance
To me the title of this post is amusing, as I've been trying to learn to dance for over a decade now. Phil and I took lessons when first married. Then we signed up for the next session, only Phil ended up getting his knee scoped and no one else was in the class so I had private lessons (with my adoring husband looking on in amusement). Our friend instructing the class graduated and moved on, we became pregnant with Abi and dancing (or tripping in my case) went on the shelf. For our fourth anniversary Phil gifted us with a session of dance classes. Along came Lizzi and as we learned how to survive with a baby and a crazy 2.5 year old who could bypass child safety door knobs and climb chain link fences, dancing subsided once again.
Even though I have the equivalent of three left feet, I haven't quit trying to learn to dance. I took a belly dance class when the girls were little. That was fun, but I didn't care for the atmosphere as it was in a buddhist's dojo. I've participated in Zumba, which was great until I threw out my back. I've had a stack of dance videos, Wii dance, and even tried instructional clips off of youtube. One would think that after so many years, with the amount of time, energy, and money that's been invested I would be able to dance. Sadly, I am still as stiff and clumsy as the day I started.
Stubborn first born that I am, I haven't given up on dreaming that I can dance. Sometimes my enthusiasm wanes and I give up for a while. However, the desire is refreshed each time I see a movie with an amazing dance theme, or some tv talent show. I know that I will never look as inspiring as those ladies as I don't have a dancers body, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be able to move as fluidly as them.
A new hobby of ours is collecting records. Most of them we've inherited or picked up from garage sales and good will. We found a learn to dance instructional record which didn't end up so well. That being said, Phil did purchase the Moulin Rouge soundtrack off of the internet at full price. I thought he was crazy and let him know as much. Now I'm the crazy one and listen to it borderline obsessively. We all love it, even Miles will stop his playing and get up and dance. This involves him turning in circles and bopping up and down in his fluffy diaper buns way which makes us all laugh hysterically. Ah, funny, I suppose I should take a video of that sometime....but I digress. My absolute favorite song on the album is El Tango De Roxanne, I could listen to it all day. I've watched the scene from the movie too and long to dance with such passion with my husband.
One of the first times I watched that Roxanne scene I offhandedly commented that it would be fun to learn to dance like that. I didn't think anything of it again. Phil on the other hand, took it to heart and started watching tango dance lessons on the internet. This weekend he let me know what he'd been up to. Knowing how quickly frustrated I get trying to learn a new dance he told me that the first thing to do is to close my eyes and feel the rhythm and passion. As I stood there trying to sway with the beat I could feel Phil's eyes on me, and then his fingers tracing along my arms. After eleven years of marriage I know Phil's touches, and this one wasn't a casual hello. I struggled to maintain composure (as well as the beat) but as a huge revelation struck me I melted into tears in his arms. Surprised, Phil asked what was wrong. I cried as I told him that I realized why dance is so hard for me. Sure I've got big feet and virtually no sense of rhythm, but it's the absolute vulnerability of dance that leaves me floundering. In the bedroom, lights are either dimmed or out, and eyes are closed as moments of ecstasy are enjoyed together, but in dance, eyes are wide open. Phil interrupted, don't you want to look at me? No, I don't want you to look at me, I cried back and sobbed into his shoulder (ah, the joys of being insecure about one's body). He gently lifted my chin and said, but I like looking at you and kissed me tenderly.
After drying my eyes and blowing my nose we resumed learning our dance. I warned him that he will never see me as vulnerable as when I am before him dancing. To make sure to be patient and gentle for my heart is laid out before you in full daylight. Our children had gathered by then and as Phil took my hand, we danced the first four steps of the El Tango De Roxanne around the living room in (near) perfect harmony.
Even though I have the equivalent of three left feet, I haven't quit trying to learn to dance. I took a belly dance class when the girls were little. That was fun, but I didn't care for the atmosphere as it was in a buddhist's dojo. I've participated in Zumba, which was great until I threw out my back. I've had a stack of dance videos, Wii dance, and even tried instructional clips off of youtube. One would think that after so many years, with the amount of time, energy, and money that's been invested I would be able to dance. Sadly, I am still as stiff and clumsy as the day I started.
Stubborn first born that I am, I haven't given up on dreaming that I can dance. Sometimes my enthusiasm wanes and I give up for a while. However, the desire is refreshed each time I see a movie with an amazing dance theme, or some tv talent show. I know that I will never look as inspiring as those ladies as I don't have a dancers body, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be able to move as fluidly as them.
A new hobby of ours is collecting records. Most of them we've inherited or picked up from garage sales and good will. We found a learn to dance instructional record which didn't end up so well. That being said, Phil did purchase the Moulin Rouge soundtrack off of the internet at full price. I thought he was crazy and let him know as much. Now I'm the crazy one and listen to it borderline obsessively. We all love it, even Miles will stop his playing and get up and dance. This involves him turning in circles and bopping up and down in his fluffy diaper buns way which makes us all laugh hysterically. Ah, funny, I suppose I should take a video of that sometime....but I digress. My absolute favorite song on the album is El Tango De Roxanne, I could listen to it all day. I've watched the scene from the movie too and long to dance with such passion with my husband.
One of the first times I watched that Roxanne scene I offhandedly commented that it would be fun to learn to dance like that. I didn't think anything of it again. Phil on the other hand, took it to heart and started watching tango dance lessons on the internet. This weekend he let me know what he'd been up to. Knowing how quickly frustrated I get trying to learn a new dance he told me that the first thing to do is to close my eyes and feel the rhythm and passion. As I stood there trying to sway with the beat I could feel Phil's eyes on me, and then his fingers tracing along my arms. After eleven years of marriage I know Phil's touches, and this one wasn't a casual hello. I struggled to maintain composure (as well as the beat) but as a huge revelation struck me I melted into tears in his arms. Surprised, Phil asked what was wrong. I cried as I told him that I realized why dance is so hard for me. Sure I've got big feet and virtually no sense of rhythm, but it's the absolute vulnerability of dance that leaves me floundering. In the bedroom, lights are either dimmed or out, and eyes are closed as moments of ecstasy are enjoyed together, but in dance, eyes are wide open. Phil interrupted, don't you want to look at me? No, I don't want you to look at me, I cried back and sobbed into his shoulder (ah, the joys of being insecure about one's body). He gently lifted my chin and said, but I like looking at you and kissed me tenderly.
After drying my eyes and blowing my nose we resumed learning our dance. I warned him that he will never see me as vulnerable as when I am before him dancing. To make sure to be patient and gentle for my heart is laid out before you in full daylight. Our children had gathered by then and as Phil took my hand, we danced the first four steps of the El Tango De Roxanne around the living room in (near) perfect harmony.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Downsizing and Direction
We started selling our extra belongings a few weeks ago knowing that we would be downsizing. In the beginning I found the exchange of cash for clean space to be quite thrilling. It was a bit harder to swallow when it came time to sell the gorgeous armoire that I had thrifted last summer. Last night the tears silently flowed as I watched our piano find it's way to a new family. Phil and I had wavered back and forth for months, do we take it along or leave it behind. I had hoped that the new owners would want to have a sturdy upright, but they don't. When we first viewed our house I shrieked and jumped up and down when I saw the sign that the piano stayed. I was already in love with the place, and a free piano to boot, I was sold. I told Phil that this was the place for me. We both felt it when we saw the place and I told him to make it happen. He did, and we've loved this place for nearly five years. Still, that doesn't lessen the sting of giving up something precious to obtain a dream. I wonder if this is how the pioneer mamas felt when they left their fine chinas behind when they loaded up a covered wagon and headed west?
Now we have some direction in our life, and it wasn't the one that we've been working on for the last few months. In regards to building a little dream house out in the country on the parcel of land we bought, doors kept getting slammed shut. For weeks we were going into a weekend on bad news or frustrated with the process. Finally, the bank gave us a thumbs up and we were excited, but then on a Friday they were double checking and found out that our debt to income ratio would be too high if we started building while owning our home. Yes, we knew that, but the shocker was that we couldn't even apply and find out if they would back our project until we sold our home. Phil was scared, what if we sell our home only to hear the bank say no they wouldn't fund our dream. We decided that perhaps a better course of action would be to downsize into a smaller mortgage payment and save up and build as we could afford it. To see if we could put that plan into action we looked at numerous open houses that would fit the bill, only to be grossly disappointed on the amount of space that would afford us. As a family of six with children who will only be getting larger and not smaller we figured that anything under 1,500sqft would be too little.
Our search left us feeling bleak and second guessing if we could do anything other than stay put. Perhaps we were just destined to be urban homesteaders and make the most out of the land we had? We tentatively made some plans of how could we achieve that goal in town. However, when your city has stipulations on what animals you can raise in your backyard it's difficult to do. Phil randomly peeked in on craigslist to see if there was anything of interest. Immediately his attention was grabbed by this little ad http://grandisland.craigslist.org/reo/4386414517.html (the under contract part wasn't there at the time) He called and found out the location and that it was just on the outskirts of town. I held my breath as I tried to overhear the details. After hanging up Phil started scoping out the property online. There were trees, the property was off of a main road, outbuildings, and it was in our price range. I was having a hard time concealing my excitement, surely this was too good to be true! Just as we had glanced over what information we could find the owner called us back and invited us to come out and see the place for ourselves. We quickly rounded up the kids and drove over. I was nervous when I saw the little house come into view. Desperate for a coat of paint, my mind wondered how bad this place was going to be on the inside. As we walked in, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. The home was just as lovely as the pictures made it out to be, and then some. We spent a whole hour chatting with the owners, walking around the property, and falling in love in general. We drove away madly whispering so the children couldn't hear. I was sold, and ready to make a move. Phil's biggest reservation was the lack of dining space and single car garage. I told him that sometimes you 'just know', like we did with our house and my heart was singing, 'this is home'. We agreed that it would be best to call up the wise people in our lives. They knew of the frustrations we were facing, and we of their misgivings they personally had on the building project. Our wise ones gave us a thumbs up saying that no we weren't crazy, that this would be a better move for our family. We could get the lower mortgage payment and the lifestyle we were craving all in the same property.
For the next week I don't think that I breathed. The bank was willing to give us a bridge loan, but the idea of buying one before selling the other was too risky. So we waited (not very patiently I'll confess) until our house sold. You already know how excruciatingly painful that week of waiting was for me. Interestingly enough exactly one hour after writing about it we had an offer come through. Those next seven hours were maddening with all of the counter offers that were had. It was making me ill and I finally told Phil, just do what you feel is right, but please know that I don't want to lose this buyer. We've prayed so long for them, I don't want to lose them or the chance to buy that farm. Phil was able to reach a place where we got more than the quick sell price but just a bit less than what he wanted. The things that man does to show his love for me is quite astounding.
I know it seems strange that I haven't written about this before today. I was paranoid that if I wrote it out, somehow it would all crumble and disappear. Then I realized that I was in the grips of fear's bondage. Perfect love casts out all fear, so I have asked the Father to break me free so I may speak of the marvelous thing that He is doing for our family. His timing is always amazing, especially when you get to look back and see how it all came into place. Each door had to close exactly when it did or we wouldn't have reached the point of looking for a smaller place. If our house had sold on the first day it was on the market, we wouldn't have gotten the lower price on the farm that we're now contracted into. Our realtor told us to expect hiccups along the way, but so far everything is going smoothly, the seller papers are all ready for us to sign as I type this up. The buyers haven't done any further bartering or requesting. It's going so well that my paranoid side is popping up. Phil says the fact that everything is going so well is proof that God is working for us. Yes, my friends, yes He is! I am looking forward to telling you even more of the blessings that He bestows on us as we journey on to the next phase of our lives.
Now we have some direction in our life, and it wasn't the one that we've been working on for the last few months. In regards to building a little dream house out in the country on the parcel of land we bought, doors kept getting slammed shut. For weeks we were going into a weekend on bad news or frustrated with the process. Finally, the bank gave us a thumbs up and we were excited, but then on a Friday they were double checking and found out that our debt to income ratio would be too high if we started building while owning our home. Yes, we knew that, but the shocker was that we couldn't even apply and find out if they would back our project until we sold our home. Phil was scared, what if we sell our home only to hear the bank say no they wouldn't fund our dream. We decided that perhaps a better course of action would be to downsize into a smaller mortgage payment and save up and build as we could afford it. To see if we could put that plan into action we looked at numerous open houses that would fit the bill, only to be grossly disappointed on the amount of space that would afford us. As a family of six with children who will only be getting larger and not smaller we figured that anything under 1,500sqft would be too little.
Our search left us feeling bleak and second guessing if we could do anything other than stay put. Perhaps we were just destined to be urban homesteaders and make the most out of the land we had? We tentatively made some plans of how could we achieve that goal in town. However, when your city has stipulations on what animals you can raise in your backyard it's difficult to do. Phil randomly peeked in on craigslist to see if there was anything of interest. Immediately his attention was grabbed by this little ad http://grandisland.craigslist.org/reo/4386414517.html (the under contract part wasn't there at the time) He called and found out the location and that it was just on the outskirts of town. I held my breath as I tried to overhear the details. After hanging up Phil started scoping out the property online. There were trees, the property was off of a main road, outbuildings, and it was in our price range. I was having a hard time concealing my excitement, surely this was too good to be true! Just as we had glanced over what information we could find the owner called us back and invited us to come out and see the place for ourselves. We quickly rounded up the kids and drove over. I was nervous when I saw the little house come into view. Desperate for a coat of paint, my mind wondered how bad this place was going to be on the inside. As we walked in, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. The home was just as lovely as the pictures made it out to be, and then some. We spent a whole hour chatting with the owners, walking around the property, and falling in love in general. We drove away madly whispering so the children couldn't hear. I was sold, and ready to make a move. Phil's biggest reservation was the lack of dining space and single car garage. I told him that sometimes you 'just know', like we did with our house and my heart was singing, 'this is home'. We agreed that it would be best to call up the wise people in our lives. They knew of the frustrations we were facing, and we of their misgivings they personally had on the building project. Our wise ones gave us a thumbs up saying that no we weren't crazy, that this would be a better move for our family. We could get the lower mortgage payment and the lifestyle we were craving all in the same property.
For the next week I don't think that I breathed. The bank was willing to give us a bridge loan, but the idea of buying one before selling the other was too risky. So we waited (not very patiently I'll confess) until our house sold. You already know how excruciatingly painful that week of waiting was for me. Interestingly enough exactly one hour after writing about it we had an offer come through. Those next seven hours were maddening with all of the counter offers that were had. It was making me ill and I finally told Phil, just do what you feel is right, but please know that I don't want to lose this buyer. We've prayed so long for them, I don't want to lose them or the chance to buy that farm. Phil was able to reach a place where we got more than the quick sell price but just a bit less than what he wanted. The things that man does to show his love for me is quite astounding.
I know it seems strange that I haven't written about this before today. I was paranoid that if I wrote it out, somehow it would all crumble and disappear. Then I realized that I was in the grips of fear's bondage. Perfect love casts out all fear, so I have asked the Father to break me free so I may speak of the marvelous thing that He is doing for our family. His timing is always amazing, especially when you get to look back and see how it all came into place. Each door had to close exactly when it did or we wouldn't have reached the point of looking for a smaller place. If our house had sold on the first day it was on the market, we wouldn't have gotten the lower price on the farm that we're now contracted into. Our realtor told us to expect hiccups along the way, but so far everything is going smoothly, the seller papers are all ready for us to sign as I type this up. The buyers haven't done any further bartering or requesting. It's going so well that my paranoid side is popping up. Phil says the fact that everything is going so well is proof that God is working for us. Yes, my friends, yes He is! I am looking forward to telling you even more of the blessings that He bestows on us as we journey on to the next phase of our lives.
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