Last week as I sat around a table with a bunch of wonderful ladies the conversation took a turn that I hadn't expected. The body bashing began, those beautiful women who sat around the table so full of laughter and life listed off their parts that they'd like to change. Phrases like 'lifestyle lift', 'boob job', and 'plastic surgery' started floating around. I started to wonder when does it end? When do we quit feeling like we have to be perfectly shaped? Why can't we just love ourselves for who we are and how we've gotten there? I'm not saying I've got it figured out by any means. It's hard to love your body through different seasons of life--teenager, pregnancy, postpartum, and menopause.
I used to think that my mom was crazy for never dying her hair. Why would she want to look her age when she's got little kids in the house? Why not wear a touch of makeup and take a few years off? I'm starting to get it though. As I've watched hairs on my own head turn from brown to white I've pondered coloring my hair. One day sitting in church I looked out at the sea of ladies heads before me, I realized that almost everyone had these perfect highlights and colored hair. It dawned on me that no hair stylist could ever create as many nuances of color in my hair as time and living could. Thankfully I have a spouse who loves me just the way I am and when asked his opinion on whether or not to color my hair he told me no. He also looks at me like I've come from an alien planet when I wear makeup and asks why I'm wearing it. Blessed am I.
I remember a few years ago when Jamie Lee Curtis did an expose for a magazine. The only caveat? Absolutely no touchups. Here's a picture in case you didn't see it. http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-style/pictures/unretouched-celebs-2010204/7761 She quickly became my hero, and the first step on my way back to real beauty.
The dove beauty campaign ads strike a deep chord with me as well.
What really shattered my perception of my body was reading this book--http://www.amazon.com/Hungry-Appetite-Ambition-Ultimate-Embrace/dp/B005GNKEWA/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1379985307&sr=8-2&keywords=hungry. It's a page turner story of a girl who gets recruited into the modeling industry, battles an eating disorder to obtain the perfect body, finally decides she's had enough and finds her way back to health. The pictures of her 'perfect' self were shocking. She looks void of life and energy. The pictures of her once she had gained some weight and learned to love her body were stunning. So vivacious, alive, and the same size as me. I stared long and hard at her, unable to believe my eyes. This lady is a model, my size, and is a model?! My beauty warped brain could not comprehend that information at first. As I kept looking I tried envisioning my face instead of hers. It was quite possibly one of the first times that I could see myself as 'stunning' with the ability to turn heads. It made me realize that maybe I was beautiful too.
It is wonderful that time can help heal wounds. I was trying on my old jeans not to long ago curious if my hips had slimmed down yet. They haven't, and I don't know if they ever will. But when I found my skinny jeans and held them up my jaw went slack. I held them up and couldn't believe that I used to wear them. And that when I wore them I thought I was fat and undesirable. How sad my viewpoint was not so long ago! I am happy to be able to truthfully say that I am more comfortable in my own skin now (two sizes larger than those jeans) than I ever was then.
I don't know all the answers but I can share what I've found on my beauty journey. Accepting compliments on my looks has been tough, but probably the biggest factor. I choose to believe that when my mom, mom in law, sister, best friends, mom friends, husband, and children say I look pretty I must look pretty. As much as I love a good conspiracy theory, it seems rather far fetched that so many people would be out there lying to me and saying I look good, right?
My second tip is this--find an amazing photographer and do a session together. Phil took my maternity pictures while pregnant with Miles. There was one picture that I was in awe. That lady was me. That beautiful, breath taking beauty, was me. To see yourself through some one else's eyes will do you more good than you could ever know.
I would love to see more women join me and walk on this path to real beauty. Not what's airbrushed in magazine, or fabricated on tv. Real women loving themselves through the daily grind, and loving others to that same spot.
I'm curious to see where I am in a few more years. What will I think of myself? What will my self talk be like? Perhaps I'll be beautiful in my own mind as much as I am in others'. For now I'm pretty, and that's good enough for me.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Child Like Faith
You know what's so affirming as a mother? Pieces of faith being demonstrated in my children. I always wonder if I teach and live by example enough to demonstrate Christ to my wee ones. My heart was warmed today on the drive to church. Wesley started asking questions about God. Who is he? Where does he live? How come I can't see him?
I didn't even get a chance to respond when Lizzi pipped up.
"Wesley, you know about germs right?"
"Yes"
"Well Wesley, God is like germs, you can't see him but you can see what He does!"
She continued to explain to him that we can see God in everything all around us.
"Look Wesley, we can see God working right now because He's making it rain!"
"Oh!" Came his excited reply.
I smiled all the way to church, and through church. In fact as I sit here typing this, my heart is still smiling to know that my children have child like faith.
Matt 19:14
Jesus said "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children."
I didn't even get a chance to respond when Lizzi pipped up.
"Wesley, you know about germs right?"
"Yes"
"Well Wesley, God is like germs, you can't see him but you can see what He does!"
She continued to explain to him that we can see God in everything all around us.
"Look Wesley, we can see God working right now because He's making it rain!"
"Oh!" Came his excited reply.
I smiled all the way to church, and through church. In fact as I sit here typing this, my heart is still smiling to know that my children have child like faith.
Matt 19:14
Jesus said "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children."
Thursday, September 12, 2013
This New Season
This new season of life has kept my wheels spinning throughout the day, but I am loving teaching Lizzi and Wesley. To see their faces light up when they discover something new makes the daily grind worth it all. I might not be getting paid in dollars for my degree, but it is being put to good use!
We took some dried beans and placed them in a ziplock bag on a wet washcloth to watch them sprout. We were pretty surprised at how fast they started. After forgetting about them for two days we were shocked today to find that the roots had grown through the washcloth and had outgrown the bag. This led to an impromptu visit to the garden. Those beans' roots were already to big for the tiny pots we had in the house. While in the garden we got distracted by the tomatoes that have just finally come ripe this week. In the midst of picking I noticed a bumblebee visiting the nearby hosta plant. Since we have been reading all about flowers, visitors, pollination I quickly stopped them so they could see pollination in action. Hushed whispers as we talked about the pollen that was visible on the bees back, and how he was drinking nectar and while there transferring the pollen to the next flower. They were so excited to see their science lessons right there before their eyes. When the bee left we checked our strawberry patch and found another half dozen needing our attention with more almost ready. Then we got back to the planting of our bean seeds.
Our math curriculum has a game called Go To The Dump. It's a version of Go Fish, but instead of making matches your pair has to total ten. I was skeptical that Lizzi would be able to do that since we had just finished our lesson on the number ten. She was so insistent on trying that I couldn't deny her the opportunity to try. With the abacus by her side we played for a good long while before she wore out.
Lizzi heads over to our elementary school for PE/Music, lunch and recess Monday through Thursday. When she does I try to make a point to interact specifically with Wesley. Today however, he was much to enthralled playing with Miles to be bothered at the beginning. Wesley would laugh then Miles would laugh. Wesley would take off running down the hall shouting at Miles to follow him. Miles would then crawl while giggling and try and catch up. The only thing better than kids laughing together is them sleeping together! After that we went outside to watch Wesley ride his balance bike. Miles was enamored and couldn't take his eyes off of brother. Wesley was so happy to have our rapt attention that he tried some tricks on his 'motorcycle' for us. I was impressed that he could put his feet up on the support bar while turning around. He's come a long ways since getting his little balance bike back in June.
I know that I don't write as much about Abi and our interactions. It's the downside to her being in public school instead of at home. However, she has given my heartstrings some tugs lately. She has again been accepted on Dodge's Character Council. I love seeing her leadership abilities grow. It makes all the years of butting heads worth it. She is growing up to be an amazing little gal. This past Sunday she asked if she could make breakfast. With a resounding yes she made a double batch of chocolate chip muffins from beginning to end. All I had to do was lick the whisk when she was done and enjoy not having to make breakfast for that day or the next.
I'm starting to feel more balanced. The first few weeks had left me high and dry for my friendship time. After a wise homeschooling mom said I'd have to figure out which relationships to nurture and which to let go, I realized that I needed to just set appointments with those that I need close to me. I was also very convicted about my internet time during that meeting. I'm confident that as my self discipline takes me down this road, I will reclaim my time from the computer back to the crafts that I've been missing. So pardon me as I boot myself off of here now to go and get my craft on for a few minutes before the babe awakes!
We took some dried beans and placed them in a ziplock bag on a wet washcloth to watch them sprout. We were pretty surprised at how fast they started. After forgetting about them for two days we were shocked today to find that the roots had grown through the washcloth and had outgrown the bag. This led to an impromptu visit to the garden. Those beans' roots were already to big for the tiny pots we had in the house. While in the garden we got distracted by the tomatoes that have just finally come ripe this week. In the midst of picking I noticed a bumblebee visiting the nearby hosta plant. Since we have been reading all about flowers, visitors, pollination I quickly stopped them so they could see pollination in action. Hushed whispers as we talked about the pollen that was visible on the bees back, and how he was drinking nectar and while there transferring the pollen to the next flower. They were so excited to see their science lessons right there before their eyes. When the bee left we checked our strawberry patch and found another half dozen needing our attention with more almost ready. Then we got back to the planting of our bean seeds.
Our math curriculum has a game called Go To The Dump. It's a version of Go Fish, but instead of making matches your pair has to total ten. I was skeptical that Lizzi would be able to do that since we had just finished our lesson on the number ten. She was so insistent on trying that I couldn't deny her the opportunity to try. With the abacus by her side we played for a good long while before she wore out.
Lizzi heads over to our elementary school for PE/Music, lunch and recess Monday through Thursday. When she does I try to make a point to interact specifically with Wesley. Today however, he was much to enthralled playing with Miles to be bothered at the beginning. Wesley would laugh then Miles would laugh. Wesley would take off running down the hall shouting at Miles to follow him. Miles would then crawl while giggling and try and catch up. The only thing better than kids laughing together is them sleeping together! After that we went outside to watch Wesley ride his balance bike. Miles was enamored and couldn't take his eyes off of brother. Wesley was so happy to have our rapt attention that he tried some tricks on his 'motorcycle' for us. I was impressed that he could put his feet up on the support bar while turning around. He's come a long ways since getting his little balance bike back in June.
I know that I don't write as much about Abi and our interactions. It's the downside to her being in public school instead of at home. However, she has given my heartstrings some tugs lately. She has again been accepted on Dodge's Character Council. I love seeing her leadership abilities grow. It makes all the years of butting heads worth it. She is growing up to be an amazing little gal. This past Sunday she asked if she could make breakfast. With a resounding yes she made a double batch of chocolate chip muffins from beginning to end. All I had to do was lick the whisk when she was done and enjoy not having to make breakfast for that day or the next.
I'm starting to feel more balanced. The first few weeks had left me high and dry for my friendship time. After a wise homeschooling mom said I'd have to figure out which relationships to nurture and which to let go, I realized that I needed to just set appointments with those that I need close to me. I was also very convicted about my internet time during that meeting. I'm confident that as my self discipline takes me down this road, I will reclaim my time from the computer back to the crafts that I've been missing. So pardon me as I boot myself off of here now to go and get my craft on for a few minutes before the babe awakes!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)