I love being spontaneous. Call me up and want to hang out? Sure, sounds great. Random day trip, you bet. Mom, want to play house? Not now. Actually, not ever. I get so danged bored with trying to engage in imaginative play. When I do, I only make it a few minutes.
In fact, playing with my kids is probably the hardest thing I do as a mom. Cook, clean, wipe bottoms, no problems there. Shocking? Perhaps yes, perhaps no. I am a very determined first born. If I don't see value in my task then I probably won't do it. Oh yes, the teacher in me knows that kids need to explore, create, imagine. I try and create those possibilities all the time. Just so long as I don't get dragged in.
However, I noticed something these last few months. Abi is blossoming into a young lady. No longer the little girl who would prefer to be with her mom. She runs in the door, drops off her backpack, says hi, maybe eats a snack, and then is out the door to play with the neighborhood kids. I realized that her childhood is slipping away like sand through an hourglass. She already knows the 'truth' about Santa, the tooth fairy, and any other imaginative being.
The nice thing about first children, is you find out some things that work, and some things that don't. And as I've watched her run off to be with her peers, I realized that I wronged her by not playing more. I always found some other task to do more often than not. Truth hurts, but it is also an excellent teacher. Now I'm trying to be more spontaneous with them. Trying to sneak something in each day. It is very hard for me. Last week, included a surprise picnic to the park, bike ride across town, giggle/tickle fest, playing in the sprinklers, and making breakfast together. I struck out in the activity yesterday, but scored big in chatting together.
This morning was very rewarding for me. We built marble race tracks for an hour together before a friend came and they did it another hour together. It was strange to me that it was almost 10 o'clock and I hadn't 'done' anything except make and clean up breakfast and play with my children. And yet I had just as much satisfaction as I did had I been doing chores all morning.
I'm trying to let some of my need for clean go. It is needed for both the children and myself. I want them to remember me as a fun loving mom, not some lady who just cooked and cleaned. And if intentional spontaneity is the way I can achieve that goal, well then, so be it!
