Yesterday morning Wesley came out and said 'Mom, can you get it out if my nose?' Not paying too much attention I replied to get a tissue and blow. He reiterated 'no, get it out!' I looked and he was pointing to the right nostril. Concerned I looked up his nose. It wasn't boogies I was seeing. It looked like a claw style hair clip and I wondered how in the world he managed to get that up there I woke up Phil to have him assist with the removal as Miles was needing me and didn't want to be alone. It took two different pairs of tweezers, but Phil was able to remove what ended up being an alphabet bead with the letter E on it.
Making muffins together Wesley asked if he could help 'crash' an egg. I had him do it over a separate bowl just in case there were eggs shells to dig out. He took his egg and ka-thunked it real hard on the counter and then proceeded to close his hand (thankfully over his bowl) as hard as he could. The egg basically exploded everywhere (but mostly in the bowl). Wesley did a muscle pose and said 'yeah I'm dirty, I'm a man, I crashed that egg!'
Phil told us how around midnight Wesley came out and looked in Phil's mug. Finding an ice cube he plucked it out and sucked on it for a bit. He spat it back into the mug and picked it up and took a big swig. Wesley then noticed that Phil had left some cheese out and started nibbling away like a tiny mouse. Suddenly he noticed Phil sitting on the couch and high tailed it back to bed. Phil swooped him up and tucked him back in. Crazy boy snacking in the middle of the night!
Friday, July 26, 2013
Monday, July 22, 2013
Frustrations and Stretching
I am like most people. I like doing something that I'm good at that doesn't cause me much distress. Learning a new skill set causes anxiety and stress in me. That anxiety leaves my nerves taut and frustrated tears linger just under the surface. Sometimes those tears burst forth and sometimes I'm able to contain them. I also happen to be a quitting perfectionist. If I can't get it right the first time I might never try again. Cross stitching, bow making, and composting are examples that spring right to my mind. Knitting almost fell in that category. I could not get the hang of casting on. I was so flustered, cheeks flushed, and mad at myself for getting what seemed to be such an easy concept. It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears. Thank goodness my friend Susan is a patient, gentle and encouraging teacher. I was able to conquer (although that might be the wrong choice of words as I'm still slow and laborious) the technique of casting on my knitting.
Tonight, I faced a new challenged. The backwards loop cast on. I watched the video and went straight to work. It went easier than I anticipated. Happily I knitted on until about thirty minutes into my work I realized that my backwards casting on wasn't done right. Sighing and trying not to cry as I pulled out and unraveled so much hard earned work I realized that once again I was bested by casting on. It seems to be the bane of my knit work. I quit counting how many times I've had to recast stitches due to not being able to guess right how much I'd need. Since I'm so slow at casting on it really drives my perfectionist self right to the precipice of quitting.
Other people may have just started right back up again, but not me. I have to walk away. Sometimes for a few hours, days, even weeks depending on the sting of my failure. This one will probably be a few days as I feel pretty blind sighted and mocked by my yarn and my inability to twirl it in the right direction. As much as I'd rather quit and walk away I can't. I'm working on my first sweater for myself. I've got the sleeves and back done. I can't give up now, and I can't leave for too long or I won't make my goal of finishing before summer is over.
Oh my yarn, you have bested me tonight. But I will win, I will learn all these anxiety provoking, confusing, and frustrating new stitches. I will be stretched, I will grow. In the end I'll have a new skill set (that I may or may not remember how to execute without the aid of a youtube video) and a cute sweater to wear once the weather turns to fall.
Tonight, I faced a new challenged. The backwards loop cast on. I watched the video and went straight to work. It went easier than I anticipated. Happily I knitted on until about thirty minutes into my work I realized that my backwards casting on wasn't done right. Sighing and trying not to cry as I pulled out and unraveled so much hard earned work I realized that once again I was bested by casting on. It seems to be the bane of my knit work. I quit counting how many times I've had to recast stitches due to not being able to guess right how much I'd need. Since I'm so slow at casting on it really drives my perfectionist self right to the precipice of quitting.
Other people may have just started right back up again, but not me. I have to walk away. Sometimes for a few hours, days, even weeks depending on the sting of my failure. This one will probably be a few days as I feel pretty blind sighted and mocked by my yarn and my inability to twirl it in the right direction. As much as I'd rather quit and walk away I can't. I'm working on my first sweater for myself. I've got the sleeves and back done. I can't give up now, and I can't leave for too long or I won't make my goal of finishing before summer is over.
Oh my yarn, you have bested me tonight. But I will win, I will learn all these anxiety provoking, confusing, and frustrating new stitches. I will be stretched, I will grow. In the end I'll have a new skill set (that I may or may not remember how to execute without the aid of a youtube video) and a cute sweater to wear once the weather turns to fall.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
The Perfect Goodbye
Yesterday I said my final goodbyes to my grandma. She was diagnosed with liver cancer back in the spring but being in her 80's chose not to do any treatments. We got the call a few weeks ago that she was jaundiced pretty bad and we should come and see her before her time was gone. So I cried, and sought help. What do you say to someone who is dying that you might not see again? Nervous I went, and when I got there, outside of grandma's fluorescent appearance nothing was out of the ordinary. It was the same old hug with the kiss on the cheek with the 'hi there kiddo' and following giggle of delight that I've known my whole life. I spent the afternoon sitting on her footstool like I normally did catching her up on the little details of our family. She held Miles and marveled at how much he'd grown since she'd seen him last. The two of them laughed together and you could see that Miles brought her a lot of joy.
There were plans to get together the next weekend to celebrate summer birthdays and grandma and grandpa's 65th anniversary a month early. We went and I was shocked at how much had changed in a week. Grandma was such a dark eerie yellow color. She stayed out in her chair but didn't make conversation and dozed most of the afternoon away. However, she was quite chipper when on the phone with a loved one who couldn't make it and responded 'oh pretty good' in her singsong voice when asked how she was doing. In spite of all the pain and discomfort, I never once heard her complain about it. Grandma put on a brave face and did all sorts of pictures with us all as everyone but three grandkids had made it back for the event. When I hugged her to go I whispered 'goodbye' instead of my normal 'see you later'. Miles lunged for Grandma and laid his head on her bosom and grinned up at her and she laughed and said 'pretty boy with such dark eyes' Such a sweet memory for me to cherish.
The next weekend Phil and Miles and I went down but we left the older kids with his mom. I knew grandma was bad off and was afraid that the kids would bother her. Mostly I wanted to see my family and as we're all spread apart across the states we don't see each other often. Grandma slept the whole time, and instead of waking her we just peeked in. It was the sweetest thing to see my grandpa snuggled up close holding her tight. I left knowing a phone call would be coming in the next few days telling of her passing.
As each day passed I was surprised that grandma was still holding on. Then thursday the 18th Miles pooped at 6:15 am. Right as I get him placed on the changing table my phone rang. I think to myself, it's too early for Cheryl to be calling it's gotta be dad. Sure enough it was the call, grandma had passed at 5:30 that morning. I went back to bed and cried in Phil's arms. Even when you're prepared for such news the reality of a loved ones passing still hits like a ton of bricks. Later that morning I cried in my friends' arms. And that afternoon when I realized that Grandma was holding our angel babies Zara and Caeles I cried some more. I cried so much on Thursday that by evening time my eyes couldn't focus.
Friday July 19, Grandma's funeral. Since everyone was able to make it at some point to see grandma before she died, it was a brief graveside service. My dad was the officiate and when he read from 1Corinthians 15 it was all I could do to keep myself from singing this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8QVwC6RWUc.
We all said the Lord's prayer, psalm 23, and sang Jesus Loves Me. Then my aunt placed Grandma's ashes in the ground. As it was a sweltery 95 degrees with some fantastic humidity we all left quickly. After the luncheon we went back to Grandpa's house to divvy up the possessions. My Grandma was a packrat and kept everything. While it was difficult for her daughters to go through the mountains of possessions, us grandkids found it pretty stunning to receive all of the artwork back that we had given over the years. Grandpa wanted everyone to have her things, so we all picked out some hankies, christmas ornaments, and jewelry. Never once was there an argument over who got what. Grandma even had some amazing hats thanks to her sister's early passing. My girls were thrilled with all of the screw back earrings that no one else wanted, and grandma's heels that no one else could use. I also inherited all of her canning jars, and sewing supplies. Our van was stuffed full of boxes which I look forward going through in the coming days.
The hardest part about yesterday was the cold slap of reality that Grandma really was gone. I just kept expecting to see her toddle down the hall with a smile on her face and a 'hi all'. But all things considered when death is in the picture it was the perfect goodbye.
There were plans to get together the next weekend to celebrate summer birthdays and grandma and grandpa's 65th anniversary a month early. We went and I was shocked at how much had changed in a week. Grandma was such a dark eerie yellow color. She stayed out in her chair but didn't make conversation and dozed most of the afternoon away. However, she was quite chipper when on the phone with a loved one who couldn't make it and responded 'oh pretty good' in her singsong voice when asked how she was doing. In spite of all the pain and discomfort, I never once heard her complain about it. Grandma put on a brave face and did all sorts of pictures with us all as everyone but three grandkids had made it back for the event. When I hugged her to go I whispered 'goodbye' instead of my normal 'see you later'. Miles lunged for Grandma and laid his head on her bosom and grinned up at her and she laughed and said 'pretty boy with such dark eyes' Such a sweet memory for me to cherish.
The next weekend Phil and Miles and I went down but we left the older kids with his mom. I knew grandma was bad off and was afraid that the kids would bother her. Mostly I wanted to see my family and as we're all spread apart across the states we don't see each other often. Grandma slept the whole time, and instead of waking her we just peeked in. It was the sweetest thing to see my grandpa snuggled up close holding her tight. I left knowing a phone call would be coming in the next few days telling of her passing.
As each day passed I was surprised that grandma was still holding on. Then thursday the 18th Miles pooped at 6:15 am. Right as I get him placed on the changing table my phone rang. I think to myself, it's too early for Cheryl to be calling it's gotta be dad. Sure enough it was the call, grandma had passed at 5:30 that morning. I went back to bed and cried in Phil's arms. Even when you're prepared for such news the reality of a loved ones passing still hits like a ton of bricks. Later that morning I cried in my friends' arms. And that afternoon when I realized that Grandma was holding our angel babies Zara and Caeles I cried some more. I cried so much on Thursday that by evening time my eyes couldn't focus.
Friday July 19, Grandma's funeral. Since everyone was able to make it at some point to see grandma before she died, it was a brief graveside service. My dad was the officiate and when he read from 1Corinthians 15 it was all I could do to keep myself from singing this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8QVwC6RWUc.
We all said the Lord's prayer, psalm 23, and sang Jesus Loves Me. Then my aunt placed Grandma's ashes in the ground. As it was a sweltery 95 degrees with some fantastic humidity we all left quickly. After the luncheon we went back to Grandpa's house to divvy up the possessions. My Grandma was a packrat and kept everything. While it was difficult for her daughters to go through the mountains of possessions, us grandkids found it pretty stunning to receive all of the artwork back that we had given over the years. Grandpa wanted everyone to have her things, so we all picked out some hankies, christmas ornaments, and jewelry. Never once was there an argument over who got what. Grandma even had some amazing hats thanks to her sister's early passing. My girls were thrilled with all of the screw back earrings that no one else wanted, and grandma's heels that no one else could use. I also inherited all of her canning jars, and sewing supplies. Our van was stuffed full of boxes which I look forward going through in the coming days.
The hardest part about yesterday was the cold slap of reality that Grandma really was gone. I just kept expecting to see her toddle down the hall with a smile on her face and a 'hi all'. But all things considered when death is in the picture it was the perfect goodbye.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Pineapple Summer Squash Muffins
When people offer us food from their gardens, I don't turn them down. I love having to stretch myself to find inventive ways to use it. This recipe came from such a creative exercise. After confirming on the internet that summer squash could be used just like zucchini I decided to try a new muffin flavor. In order to create these muffins I combined my cookbook's basic muffin recipe with the zucchini cake. What resulted was a light moist muffin perfect for a cool summer morning!
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| big smiles after first bite |
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| because everyone needs a good bed head shot on the internet |
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| my toughest food critic. These muffins didn't pass her test of approval, but at least she looks good tryin em'. |
Pineapple Summer Squash Muffins
Makes 12
2c flour
1/4 c sugar
1 tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp powdered ginger
2c shredded summer squash
1c pineapple tidbits
3 eggs
3/4c whey or milk
1/4c pineapple juice
1/4c olive oil
1 tsp vanilla
Heat oven to 425
Combine dry ingredients, fold in wet until just mixed. Fill greased muffin tins and bake for 20-25 minutes.
Next time I would use crushed pineapple, coconut oil instead of olive, and add shredded coconut for a more tropical experience.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Shaving Cream
Here's a little secret about my Phil. He's not much into green crunchy living. Give the man his fragrance laden commercial soaps, shampoos, deoderants, etc. and he's a happy guy. He's tried my homemade chapstick but prefers the petroleum menthol variety. I tease him that someday I will convert him to the dark side. The following story is what I believe is the chink in his conventional living armor.
When his can of shaving cream ran out I made the wager to just try a small batch of mine and if you don't like it you can go to the store and buy your stinky over fragranced variety. Reluctantly he agreed. So I whipped him up a little batch and used the manliest essential oils that I have. Two different blends from the Rocky Mountain Oil company called Focus and Vitality. These two oils contain within them rosemary, peppermint, holy basil, basil, cardamom, vetiver, frankincense, lavender, and cedarwood.
The first shave I stood at the door and watched him and inquired about the cream. It was just the right amount of foam and soapiness. Needed more scent. The part that tripped him up was that it is oil based. When I explained that I had read about how shaving oil was really great for the skin and he wouldn't need an aftershave he decided to use it again. I've seen him shave a second time (before I had remembered to add more scent mind you!), and there were no complaints or questions. As he said 'it works', I love how he doesn't smell funky (yes I have a 'thing' about artificial fragrances I get that from my parents), has a soft face, and is putting something healthy on his face that I made. Not to mention it's great for the environment and our wallet since I had everything stashed in the cupboard for such a moment as this.
Wanna give it a try? Here you go!
Homemade shaving cream
1 tablespoons Dr Bronner's baby mild castille soap
4 tablespoons coconut oil (makes no difference whether it's melted or not)
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 teaspoons liquid glycerin
1 teaspoon water
20-40 drops favorite essential oil (I used 20)
Whip together with beaters or in stand mixer until light and creamy. Place in container and enjoy.
When his can of shaving cream ran out I made the wager to just try a small batch of mine and if you don't like it you can go to the store and buy your stinky over fragranced variety. Reluctantly he agreed. So I whipped him up a little batch and used the manliest essential oils that I have. Two different blends from the Rocky Mountain Oil company called Focus and Vitality. These two oils contain within them rosemary, peppermint, holy basil, basil, cardamom, vetiver, frankincense, lavender, and cedarwood.
The first shave I stood at the door and watched him and inquired about the cream. It was just the right amount of foam and soapiness. Needed more scent. The part that tripped him up was that it is oil based. When I explained that I had read about how shaving oil was really great for the skin and he wouldn't need an aftershave he decided to use it again. I've seen him shave a second time (before I had remembered to add more scent mind you!), and there were no complaints or questions. As he said 'it works', I love how he doesn't smell funky (yes I have a 'thing' about artificial fragrances I get that from my parents), has a soft face, and is putting something healthy on his face that I made. Not to mention it's great for the environment and our wallet since I had everything stashed in the cupboard for such a moment as this.
Wanna give it a try? Here you go!
Homemade shaving cream
1 tablespoons Dr Bronner's baby mild castille soap
4 tablespoons coconut oil (makes no difference whether it's melted or not)
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 teaspoons liquid glycerin
1 teaspoon water
20-40 drops favorite essential oil (I used 20)
Whip together with beaters or in stand mixer until light and creamy. Place in container and enjoy.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Dear Future Alicia
Dear Alicia,
If you are reading this, it must be summer of 2014. Perhaps you are looking for some encouragement now that you have a mobile toddler on your hands? Remember how Miles would smile at you to grab your attention? Or how he would grab your face with his sweaty fat baby hands and pull you to himself and with a wide toothless grin smother your checks with slobbery kisses? I would also like to remind you of how he was such a snuggly little guy and was so content to sit on your lap. I'm sure it must be hard emotionally now that he's more interested in exploring his world than sitting with you. Does Miles still get wide eyed with excitement, or furrow his brow and breathe heavy when concentrating on a hand eye coordination task? Now Miles is starting to use the toilet more and diapers less. I doubt that you miss having to wash those diapers every few days, eh?
I know it's hard watching them need you less and less, but it is a part of life. Do you remember that Abi made pancakes from start to finish without needing you? It was a proud moment for her (and you!), and if you'd admit it to yourself, a relief that you didn't need to be hanging over her shoulder the whole time making sure she measured everything properly. You let her ride off of the block to go fetch the dog, and pick mulberries. You were so nervous after twenty minutes, and look at her now!
Here were the things about Wesley that you wanted me to remind you about. When asked how old he was he'd put his thumb and middle finger together and hold up the rest and say 'shree'. You loved his prayers too 'Jesus, my food (and he'd list each thing on his plate), my free-unds, baby Mi's, AbiLizzi (because they were one in his mind), daddy, mama...A-MEN!' You found it endearing how he was still too short to ride the bike, and grateful that grandma got him a balance bike to train on. He loved to mow the yard right alongside Phil, and tinker with the tools. Wesley loved to help in the kitchen and in the garage. Whenever you couldn't find him he was usually in the garage 'fixing' Phil's motorcycle.
Remember how badly Lizzi wanted to be able to read? She would check out books with CDs to follow along and try to decode the words. She was so proud when she found one that contained first grade word lists and declared to you that she was going to learn new words. She's come a long way since the primer 'A Cat and A Rat'! She also loved fixing hair. Remember when she figured out how to make hers curly by scrunching it up? Then she went and had you spell out words so she could make the sign 'Lizzi Zlomke Curly Hair' and set up a beauty parlor in her room.
I'm sure you're even more busy now that you have a 9 year old, 6 year old, 4 year old, and 18mo old. And that these memories seem so long ago. Your babies are growing up into fine people of the world in spite of your worries about whether you are doing it right or not. Breathe mama, you've done a great job thus far, and you will continue to do so with Christ lighting the way for your family.
Love,
Yourself from 2013
If you are reading this, it must be summer of 2014. Perhaps you are looking for some encouragement now that you have a mobile toddler on your hands? Remember how Miles would smile at you to grab your attention? Or how he would grab your face with his sweaty fat baby hands and pull you to himself and with a wide toothless grin smother your checks with slobbery kisses? I would also like to remind you of how he was such a snuggly little guy and was so content to sit on your lap. I'm sure it must be hard emotionally now that he's more interested in exploring his world than sitting with you. Does Miles still get wide eyed with excitement, or furrow his brow and breathe heavy when concentrating on a hand eye coordination task? Now Miles is starting to use the toilet more and diapers less. I doubt that you miss having to wash those diapers every few days, eh?
I know it's hard watching them need you less and less, but it is a part of life. Do you remember that Abi made pancakes from start to finish without needing you? It was a proud moment for her (and you!), and if you'd admit it to yourself, a relief that you didn't need to be hanging over her shoulder the whole time making sure she measured everything properly. You let her ride off of the block to go fetch the dog, and pick mulberries. You were so nervous after twenty minutes, and look at her now!
Here were the things about Wesley that you wanted me to remind you about. When asked how old he was he'd put his thumb and middle finger together and hold up the rest and say 'shree'. You loved his prayers too 'Jesus, my food (and he'd list each thing on his plate), my free-unds, baby Mi's, AbiLizzi (because they were one in his mind), daddy, mama...A-MEN!' You found it endearing how he was still too short to ride the bike, and grateful that grandma got him a balance bike to train on. He loved to mow the yard right alongside Phil, and tinker with the tools. Wesley loved to help in the kitchen and in the garage. Whenever you couldn't find him he was usually in the garage 'fixing' Phil's motorcycle.
Remember how badly Lizzi wanted to be able to read? She would check out books with CDs to follow along and try to decode the words. She was so proud when she found one that contained first grade word lists and declared to you that she was going to learn new words. She's come a long way since the primer 'A Cat and A Rat'! She also loved fixing hair. Remember when she figured out how to make hers curly by scrunching it up? Then she went and had you spell out words so she could make the sign 'Lizzi Zlomke Curly Hair' and set up a beauty parlor in her room.
I'm sure you're even more busy now that you have a 9 year old, 6 year old, 4 year old, and 18mo old. And that these memories seem so long ago. Your babies are growing up into fine people of the world in spite of your worries about whether you are doing it right or not. Breathe mama, you've done a great job thus far, and you will continue to do so with Christ lighting the way for your family.
Love,
Yourself from 2013
Monday, July 8, 2013
You know you're the fourth baby when...
- your parents had a difficult time finding a name for you
- you are five months old and still don't have a nickname
- you get a new car seat because the old one expired
- you can sleep through loud noises due to living with older siblings who run and scream through the house
- you get new cloth diapers because the old ones have been worn to shreds
- you are unfazed when a well meaning sibling bumps your head while trying to show love
- you wear the same outfit for two days in a row
- you only wear a diaper on days with no scheduled outings
- you cry when put down because there is usually someone holding you
- you get excited to be put down so you can stretch out and practice new motor skills because you are usually being held and don't get the chance
- you get a bath maybe once a week because it's easier to get a rubdown with a washcloth then fill a tub
- your hair gets styled by the up and coming hairstylist sister
- you get jumped on when big brother tries to dance over you
- your oldest sister reads you books instead of a parent
- you chew on a (clean) flip flop just as often as a teething toy
- you get over stimulated by three older siblings getting all up in your face--all at the same time
- your mom cries when you hit major milestones because it makes you one step closer to being a mobile mess maker
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Hairy Hats
When I first started knitting I looked for unique hats to make. I came across this fun design (http://www.headhuggers.org/patterns/kpatt10.htm) and bought the yarn for it on a black friday special. It took me over a year to get up the nerve to try and work with the yarn and it's crazy compared to worsted weight! I love making these hats, they remind me of Dr Seuss' The Lorax. Much to my surprise, the yarn wasn't as difficult to work with as I thought it would be.
Every time my brother Zach would come and visit he would see Wesley's hat and admire it. I told him that I'd make him one if he bought the yarn. This weekend he decided to splurge and buy the yarn so I could whip it out before he left. Zach adores any color that is bright and festive, so when he handed me the bright colored rainbow skein I knew he'd love the end result.
Every time my brother Zach would come and visit he would see Wesley's hat and admire it. I told him that I'd make him one if he bought the yarn. This weekend he decided to splurge and buy the yarn so I could whip it out before he left. Zach adores any color that is bright and festive, so when he handed me the bright colored rainbow skein I knew he'd love the end result.
Yup! Hairy hat smiles.
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