Friday, November 8, 2013

Living with Less

Knowing that the home we're designing is smaller than our current one, I started going through our belongings.  I was aware that we had too many possessions and was annoyed at trying to keep them all tidy and put away.  I wanted to live with less.  There were a few catalysts that helped me start the road toward what some call minimalism.  I prefer the term simple living.

Visiting my aunt last spring who gives so much away and has a sparsely furnished home struck a chord in me.  Her home was so peaceful and serene, I wanted some of that in my home.

Seeing how many boxes my grandma had stashed in her house, and closets stuffed to the brim and how much time and energy my mom and aunt have spent clearing it out was another.

A friend sharing the blog Becoming Minimalist and pictures of tiny homes with all their small but clean spaces really was the final shove I needed.  Reading about how we become so wrapped up in managing our belongings that we spend more time and energy on organizing and maintenance than we do with what is important to us struck a nerve.

I knew that I worked harder at maintaining our home than I did being a mom.  But wait a second, I'm a stay at home mom right?  I realized in that moment that a more accurate title was house manager rather than mother.  And it bothered me.  It bothered me bad.  What if I could spend less time cleaning and more time enjoying these little people God's blessed me with?  Could it be true that if I had less things I would have more time for them?

I was in and ready to find out.  In the last month I've been doing a lot of clearing out the house.  Not just reorganizing closets but actually removing stuff from our lives.  The first few boxes were really easy.  My bookcase collapsed from the load it bore.  Instead of trying to jam all the books back on, I went through and kept out only the ones I knew I would like to read again someday.  The rest went to the library.  Taking out the clothes that haven't fit for a few seasons was easy, and I was able to bless a friend who needed them.  The kids let me go through their closets too as they were overwhelmed with too many choices.  Amazingly Phil even let me go through his closet and get it cleaned up.  I took out two trash bags worth of clothes and he hasn't mentioned it once about missing anything.

The family was up for the next level of the experiment, only enough dishes for 8.  Previously the arrangement was the dishes would pile up from three meals during the day, Phil would load the dishwasher at night and Abi would empty it the next day.  Abi complained almost daily about the task, and sometimes Phil wouldn't be able to load it.  This would leave me with the unpleasant task of either dealing with the mess while waiting for him to get around to it or loading the dishwasher myself.  We were all skeptical about how it would go, having to hand wash the dishes after each meal.  I figured we'd last a week at the most.  It's been a month.  The kids haven't grumbled about needing to wash their dish after each meal, and I don't mind the by product of having a clean kitchen all the time.  We have only used the dishwasher once in the last month and that was last weekend.   Phil was willing to try it for a month.  He hasn't mentioned anything about it and I'm not going to remind him!

Last week I went through my closet again.  I had read a challenge to only have 33 items of clothing  (read about it here: http://theproject333.com/).  The premise is to only have the things that you love hanging in your closet.  I ended up with 40 items in my closet that I love, two of which I'm still not convinced to keep but wasn't ready to part quite yet.  It's been refreshing to just pull the next shirt and sweater out of the closet without wondering about whether I'll like my outfit and if it looks good on me or not.  If you think that 40 items sounds like a lot, I challenge you to pull everything from your closet and only put back 40 just to see what it looks like.  You don't have to give away the extras, you can tuck them away in the spare bedroom closet and bring them back if you miss anything.

I've been making meals more simple too.  I used to love to come up with all sorts of fancy dishes.  Perhaps again someday I will.  For now though, I relish that making meals is quick and easy and doesn't dirty every bowl and pan I own.  I know that the kids appreciate me not being in the kitchen as much because it lends to more time to play a game before daddy comes home from work.  Miles has higher needs for me during dinner making time, so it's nice to meet his needs instead of putting him off, or sticking him in the highchair.

I know that it's only been a month into the experiment, but I'm liking what I'm seeing thus far.  My counters are clean (even conquered my nemesis the island this week!), and my floor is less littered with toys.  Pickup can be done in five minutes which we try and get done before Phil walks in the door.  I love how I'm feeling too.  Not so tired and exhausted in the evening.  I start my day with confidence, no need to glance in the mirror and wonder about my outfit.  I am refreshed walking out to our great room, no clutter, no dirty dishes, just clean spaces.  It's the same feeling I get when I see a magazine cover, but I'm living in it.  More time with the kids too, we're playing more, reading more, being together more.  During that time with them, I'm not thinking about the next cleaning need, I'm there.  And that's right where I want to be.


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