Another post on miscarriage you say? Yup, I've been saving this one for a while. Glad I did or there wouldn't be a number ten to my list. Kinda wanted to see how things would play out. I'm sure that I can do a part two in another few weeks as I have a sneaking suspicion that I haven't learned everything from my personal journey yet.
When I first started spotting, I went to the internet to look for information. If you've not ever been in a position to search for miscarriage info, then bless you dear reader. If you have, you may have noticed how sparse and dismal the information is.
Most websites give you the generic rundown:
heavier than normal period cramps
bleeding with some clots
loss of pregnancy symptoms
I would like to expand that list by adding what I learned:
1. Just like birth, no two miscarriages are the same.
My first passed quickly and with only minor discomfort, the second was a force of nature to be reckoned with.
2. It can feel more like labor and less like menstrual cramps.
When Caeles passed, I told Phil that I was upgrading my condition from achy to first stage labor. I had contractions and knew it was only a matter of time before something happened. Even in the middle of the miscarriage, I had urges to push, just like when birthing a live baby. Achy back, hips feel like they were spreading, yup, my body was in full blown labor.
3. Cold sweats, nausea, uncontrollable shaking are all within normal parameters.
I really wish that I knew this piece of information when I had searched the internet. When I had these symptoms I started to get scared that perhaps something was not right and that I might be in trouble.
4. There can be afterpains just like after the delivery of a live child.
Quite crummy yes, but that is the joy of ibuprofen.
5. Your body may act like it's in a postpartum state.
You may experience hormonal fluctuations, arrival of breast milk, night sweats and frequent bathroom trips to decrease blood volume.
6. Your body may look like a postpartum body.
Increased cup size, and flabby belly (even if you weren't showing yet!)
7. Phantom baby kicks
I read this in the comments column somewhere on the internet and am thankful to have not experienced this.
8. Retained morning sickness and heightened sense of smell during the intense grieving portion of loss (especially the denial stage).
9. Debilitating headaches
Again, it is within normal parameters to have headaches that lay you up for hours or days at a time. It's just your hormones trying to figure out what they are supposed to be doing. Of course if it lasts more than 2 weeks, seek medical treatment as that may be a sign of something else.
10. Strange menstrual cycles
Your body has just undergone a major hormonal adjustment, and just like after a live birth, each woman's period returns at different times.
You might have tissue fragments pass for the first few cycles as your body finishes cleansing itself from the miscarriage. The smell of the first few cycles might be more reminiscent of postpartum bleeding than a menstrual cycle.
It might take a while to 'get regular'. Again, major hormonal adjustment going on here, and every woman's body has it's own pace of getting back on track.
It is my sincerest wish that this will be passed on. Miscarriage is such a hush hush topic. I want to shed a little light on it, to help others, ease their suffering. If I help just one woman, my own pain will have been worth it. So please, post this on facebook, and twitter, I don't even care if I get credit or not. Send it as a forward to someone you love. Let's work together to get the word out so we aren't alone in our hurt. Knowledge is power, so pay it forward.
another well written piece. it is my wish that everyone read and know this. thank you so much for putting it in words
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