We are one week into having our home listed as For Sale. Let me tell you I am starting to get a grasp on why they say that moving is one of the most stressful events a marriage can endure. After putting a price tag that the realtor said was a quick sale price we are scratching our heads as to why there have been a dozen groups through here with not one offer.
We are learning that waiting is hard, and not knowing what will happen even harder. I am clinging to God and asking Him to reveal His will to us. Does He want us to stay, move, or build? I am waiting for Him to answer.
The upside is that we got our to do list checked off, so we are getting to enjoy the fruits of our hard labor. Well sort of, as I have to keep after the kids to keep everything tidy and put away once completed just in case we get a call that there is someone wanting to see the house now. This isn't all for naught as it's excellent practice for all of us to make our beds daily, clean up our messes promptly, and learn contentment where we are.
Still, we are unsettled. Most of our belongings are packed up in Rose's basement. Half of my kitchen is there too. I kept only the basics for cooking and baking. We have a couch, bed, deep freeze, file cabinet and sewing machine to occupy the basement rooms. It is so empty it echoes downstairs. We are missing our books and toys. The kids are fussy wanting to know when we are moving to a farm. Phil and I feel the same insistence internally.
I have always longed for a show worthy home like what appears in magazines and pinterest, and now that I've got it, I'm not enjoying it nearly as much as I thought. It's sterile, sad, and uninviting. There are no personal touches as we are attempting to maintain neutral to appease to the masses.
I am looking forward to when this difficult season of life is over so we can resume having personality fill the home, small messes under our feet, masses of memories smiling down from the walls, and the laughter loved ones ringing through the house.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Growing Up
Last Thursday Miles figured out how to stand up from the floor instead of pulling up on the furniture. That night during Bible study he used his new found discovery to push his skills even farther. He would walk around the room clasping his hands. Even when he tripped and fell he didn't let go of his hands. He'd just fall and roll to the side and then giggle at the (apparent) hilariousness of his antics. This kept us all in stitches (four sleep deprived adults don't need much to entertain them I guess!). That was pretty much the end of his crawling. He now is a tiny upright person and trots around and even pivots rapidly to avoid siblings or the dog. Over the weekend I watched my baby bloom into a tiny toddler as he has been 'talking' more too.
Wesley surprised us these last few days at his number recognition. He knows almost all of his numbers up to ten. He likes to sit in on Lizzi's school lessons once in a while. I'm always amazed at how much they learn from each other. I had the joy of pitching to him last night and was delighted at how many times his bat connected with the ball.
Lizzi has almost completed her first math book. It feels like eons ago that we had first cracked it open and could barely figure out how to make five with popsicle sticks. Now she is learning to read a clock and count basic change. She has also shown us some go get it attitude. Lizzi wants to play softball like Abi, so she has taken initiative to ask daddy almost every day to go out and play catch with her. She is also quite determined to figure out how to do more with a crochet hook than just chain and is making some strides there as well.
Abi got to participate in the homeschooling group's first ever geography fair. I was so proud of her manning the table, chatting with adults, sharing her knowledge, passing out trifold brochures that she had created on the computer and serving green tea. Our table might have been the simplest one by design, but she knew her stuff and was only a smidge bit timid to offer it up. She is also learning the value of hard work and teamwork with the softball league that she's participating in.
I find it refreshing once in a while to take a step back and see how much my kids have changed. Since our days mostly look the same it's rewarding for me to see their growth.
Wesley surprised us these last few days at his number recognition. He knows almost all of his numbers up to ten. He likes to sit in on Lizzi's school lessons once in a while. I'm always amazed at how much they learn from each other. I had the joy of pitching to him last night and was delighted at how many times his bat connected with the ball.
Lizzi has almost completed her first math book. It feels like eons ago that we had first cracked it open and could barely figure out how to make five with popsicle sticks. Now she is learning to read a clock and count basic change. She has also shown us some go get it attitude. Lizzi wants to play softball like Abi, so she has taken initiative to ask daddy almost every day to go out and play catch with her. She is also quite determined to figure out how to do more with a crochet hook than just chain and is making some strides there as well.
Abi got to participate in the homeschooling group's first ever geography fair. I was so proud of her manning the table, chatting with adults, sharing her knowledge, passing out trifold brochures that she had created on the computer and serving green tea. Our table might have been the simplest one by design, but she knew her stuff and was only a smidge bit timid to offer it up. She is also learning the value of hard work and teamwork with the softball league that she's participating in.
I find it refreshing once in a while to take a step back and see how much my kids have changed. Since our days mostly look the same it's rewarding for me to see their growth.
Friday, March 7, 2014
Short Cut Baked Beans
I've tried out a lot of homemade baked beans recipes on my family. None ever hit the yum spot, we all just ate it out of duty. Today however, I just winged it and there were mmm's all around.
If you're not into cooking dried beans, I'm sure that the canned variety would work just fine. I would however, rinse the canned ones before saucing.
Never tried cooking your own beans? Nothing could be easier! Set them in a bowl of water the night before. If you plan far enough in advance you can soak them for a few days just changing out water at night for fresh. I've soaked beans for two days and was able to enjoy them with no digestive discomfort. Put them in the crockpot with fresh water in the morning on low for a good 5-6 hours, a tablespoon of baking soda to help the softening process. Check for doneness (is that seriously a word? Seems so strange, doneness!), and drain off cooking water. Proceed to sauce those babies.
Here's the secret sauce 'recipe' that I will gladly shout from the mountaintops so no one will have to pay a premium for Bush's (because we're baked bean snobs and don't care for the off brands that we've tried).
Half salsa and half barbecue sauce.
Do you feel a bit let down at how simple it is? I'll admit I was rather shocked at how well it turned out, and that there were delighted people over fussy ones being served homemade baked beans. I have mentioned how many times I've tried making my own, right?
For my friends who really need more details than that: I used Hunt's Salsa (my dad brought it up from colorado, not sure if it's sold here) about 3 tablespoons of Kraft's Roasted Garlic Barbecue (don't recommend alone as it's very overpowering on the garlic taste) and Famous Dave's Rich and Sassy Sauce.
Now that I've got a main staple of our spring/summer/fall diet finally figured out--Let grilling season commence!
If you're not into cooking dried beans, I'm sure that the canned variety would work just fine. I would however, rinse the canned ones before saucing.
Never tried cooking your own beans? Nothing could be easier! Set them in a bowl of water the night before. If you plan far enough in advance you can soak them for a few days just changing out water at night for fresh. I've soaked beans for two days and was able to enjoy them with no digestive discomfort. Put them in the crockpot with fresh water in the morning on low for a good 5-6 hours, a tablespoon of baking soda to help the softening process. Check for doneness (is that seriously a word? Seems so strange, doneness!), and drain off cooking water. Proceed to sauce those babies.
Here's the secret sauce 'recipe' that I will gladly shout from the mountaintops so no one will have to pay a premium for Bush's (because we're baked bean snobs and don't care for the off brands that we've tried).
Half salsa and half barbecue sauce.
Do you feel a bit let down at how simple it is? I'll admit I was rather shocked at how well it turned out, and that there were delighted people over fussy ones being served homemade baked beans. I have mentioned how many times I've tried making my own, right?
For my friends who really need more details than that: I used Hunt's Salsa (my dad brought it up from colorado, not sure if it's sold here) about 3 tablespoons of Kraft's Roasted Garlic Barbecue (don't recommend alone as it's very overpowering on the garlic taste) and Famous Dave's Rich and Sassy Sauce.
Now that I've got a main staple of our spring/summer/fall diet finally figured out--Let grilling season commence!
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
quick update
Instead of boring you with my frustration and disappointment over not reaching our original listing date, I shall regal you with what else has been happening in our lives.
Abi is participating in an indoor softball league. She has showed promise as a catcher (just like her dad and grandma) and gets to attend a special catchers clinic before the Saturday practices. She has also earned the loving nickname of Abi the Animal after hitting 8 pitches in a row from the machine.
Lizzi has taught herself how to crochet. She has also shown skills in drawing and has been enrolled in an art class to start this month.
Wesley has ample time during our school hours to engage in imaginary play and frequently builds towers with blocks or forts with pillows and blankets. Yesterday as I was placing Craisins on his plate he asked when I would go grocery shopping and buy some real fruit.
Miles can walk well when he chooses to, although he hasn't figured out how to stand up directly from the floor yet. Last night he helped me with the laundry by pulling his diapers out of the washer, walked to the dryer and threw them in.
Phil had the privilege of being interviewed for the Grand Island Independent last week. Although he was a nervous wreck, he did a fine job demonstrating what Financial Literacy looks like for his class.
I was asked to serve on the Library's Early Literacy Focus Board to help enhance the Library's service to the community. Tonight is the first meeting. I'm really excited to see what ideas the other members are bringing to the table.
Next week we start the homeschooling coop classes which we've all been looking forward to since the beginning of the year!
Abi is participating in an indoor softball league. She has showed promise as a catcher (just like her dad and grandma) and gets to attend a special catchers clinic before the Saturday practices. She has also earned the loving nickname of Abi the Animal after hitting 8 pitches in a row from the machine.
Lizzi has taught herself how to crochet. She has also shown skills in drawing and has been enrolled in an art class to start this month.
Wesley has ample time during our school hours to engage in imaginary play and frequently builds towers with blocks or forts with pillows and blankets. Yesterday as I was placing Craisins on his plate he asked when I would go grocery shopping and buy some real fruit.
Miles can walk well when he chooses to, although he hasn't figured out how to stand up directly from the floor yet. Last night he helped me with the laundry by pulling his diapers out of the washer, walked to the dryer and threw them in.
Phil had the privilege of being interviewed for the Grand Island Independent last week. Although he was a nervous wreck, he did a fine job demonstrating what Financial Literacy looks like for his class.
I was asked to serve on the Library's Early Literacy Focus Board to help enhance the Library's service to the community. Tonight is the first meeting. I'm really excited to see what ideas the other members are bringing to the table.
Next week we start the homeschooling coop classes which we've all been looking forward to since the beginning of the year!
Monday, March 3, 2014
Curious and Curioser
For over a year now, God has been prompting me to tell my story. I have by and large ignored Him. But, He consistently reminds me that my story needs to be told. Sometime last year (I think, I've totally lost track of time since being pregnant with Miles!) our church did a cardboard sign testimony. People were to write out their testimonies and silently walk the stage, hold them up, flip them over if they used both sides, and then exit. I thought the idea was really neat and wanted to join in. For days I wracked my brain on what to put on my sign. I never came up with anything and didn't participate. As I watched the testimonies walk the stage I felt a twinge of something I couldn't put my finger on. I think that is when the Spirit started prompting me to tell my story.
I resumed blogging as a way to tell my story, but parred back because I felt I couldn't keep it up. Yesterday, I was invited to give my 'mama testimony' for MOPS' final meeting of the year. I was humbled and shocked to hear that I had been on both of the coordinators hearts. In fact it kind of stupefied me into silence (I know, pretty big huh) which the caller had interpreted as indecisiveness. She said I could make my decision later and get back to her if I needed time to think about it. I responded that we are always supposed to be ready to give our testimonies and that I would do it. Even though it means getting up in front of my peers and speaking for 20-25 minutes. I quipped that it is a good thing I've got 9+ years of mothering archives to rely on to talk for that long!
Prior to and since that phone call, I've been reflecting a lot on why God keeps calling me forth to share my story. It's not very exciting, in fact it's really down to earth. The super condensed version is that I grew up in the church, decided to give my life to Christ at the age of 14, and have faithfully walked with Him since. I obviously am not a mind reader by any stretch of the imagination, but I am wondering if perhaps God wants to use my ordinary story to inspire others like myself to keep on keeping on, to walk near Him, and fight the good fight, etc. At any rate, I could use prayers to know exactly what God wants me to say at that meeting at the end of April!
I resumed blogging as a way to tell my story, but parred back because I felt I couldn't keep it up. Yesterday, I was invited to give my 'mama testimony' for MOPS' final meeting of the year. I was humbled and shocked to hear that I had been on both of the coordinators hearts. In fact it kind of stupefied me into silence (I know, pretty big huh) which the caller had interpreted as indecisiveness. She said I could make my decision later and get back to her if I needed time to think about it. I responded that we are always supposed to be ready to give our testimonies and that I would do it. Even though it means getting up in front of my peers and speaking for 20-25 minutes. I quipped that it is a good thing I've got 9+ years of mothering archives to rely on to talk for that long!
Prior to and since that phone call, I've been reflecting a lot on why God keeps calling me forth to share my story. It's not very exciting, in fact it's really down to earth. The super condensed version is that I grew up in the church, decided to give my life to Christ at the age of 14, and have faithfully walked with Him since. I obviously am not a mind reader by any stretch of the imagination, but I am wondering if perhaps God wants to use my ordinary story to inspire others like myself to keep on keeping on, to walk near Him, and fight the good fight, etc. At any rate, I could use prayers to know exactly what God wants me to say at that meeting at the end of April!
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Packing
At first I found packing to be exhilarating. It was so much fun to see items go into a box, knowing that when we opened it later it'd be fun like on Christmas morning.
Now that I'm past the easy stage and entering the 'can I live without this for a few months' I have noted that it's almost like a slow death. The death of this current place in life. Even though we are most excited about what is coming next, there are still many dreams that will not see fruition in this home. Plans for a basement master, larger deck to house my outdoor furniture, and tree house expansions, for example, are no longer talked about. Then there are the memories of how we bought the place and how we've slowly molded it to a home over the past few years. Our two boys were conceived in this house, and one was born within these walls.
Call me a sentimental fool, but as I'm packing up kitchen spices and equipment that I won't see for a long while, I'm saddened by the process. Of course I can always open the boxes up if there is an item I really do need to use. I think though that ripping the tape off the box is akin to removing a bandaid--no matter how you do it there is still some stinging involved. The item will still have to be placed back in the box and I'll still have some lingering sorrow over leaving.
Change is hard, but I know it will be worth it in the end. It always has been. Some of the dearest people in my life have entered because of change. For now I'll just remind myself of the great adventure we'll have, and the amazing new friends who will join me for the ride.
Now that I'm past the easy stage and entering the 'can I live without this for a few months' I have noted that it's almost like a slow death. The death of this current place in life. Even though we are most excited about what is coming next, there are still many dreams that will not see fruition in this home. Plans for a basement master, larger deck to house my outdoor furniture, and tree house expansions, for example, are no longer talked about. Then there are the memories of how we bought the place and how we've slowly molded it to a home over the past few years. Our two boys were conceived in this house, and one was born within these walls.
Call me a sentimental fool, but as I'm packing up kitchen spices and equipment that I won't see for a long while, I'm saddened by the process. Of course I can always open the boxes up if there is an item I really do need to use. I think though that ripping the tape off the box is akin to removing a bandaid--no matter how you do it there is still some stinging involved. The item will still have to be placed back in the box and I'll still have some lingering sorrow over leaving.
Change is hard, but I know it will be worth it in the end. It always has been. Some of the dearest people in my life have entered because of change. For now I'll just remind myself of the great adventure we'll have, and the amazing new friends who will join me for the ride.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Estate Auction
Tissue Notice, I went through more than a handful writing this!
Yesterday was my grandparents' estate auction. I had been dreading this event from the moment I heard it was happening. The idea of strangers pilfering through their belongings and then hauling them away was unsettling. I told Phil that I didn't want to even be there. However, I knew myself well enough to know that, as hard as it may be, if I didn't go I'd regret it down the road.
The original plan was to get there ahead of time, see everything laid out along with the antiques that even my mother had never seen, and then journey on down the road to Omaha for a lego robotics convention. Plans changed though as Phil and I both had a rough night of sleep. Miles didn't sleep worth a hoot which meant I didn't either, and Phil couldn't sleep as he is just starting to walk this grief stricken road of losing a beloved grandparent. His Papa Zlomke passed early Friday morning and with it being the last day of the trimester Phil was so busy he didn't get to process that information until evening. With a heavy heart, Phil wasn't so sure that he wanted to try and pretend to be chipper and drive all over the countryside. We are learning that grief is very taxing on one's energy.
We ended up staying for the whole auction. My heart paused when I saw everything laid out. There were so many things I had never seen, so in that respect it was like any other auction. There were just as many objects that had lots of memories attached, trinkets from around the house, and the furniture. Like Phil said, seeing grandpa's chair sitting empty against the wall was the final piece of closure that yes, he's really gone, this era is really over. It was the hardest part of the auction. That, and seeing the bed that they breathed their last in, and their chairs. I kept having to turn my head and not look, because as upsetting as it was to see them empty of my grandparents' presence, the times I glanced and saw strangers sitting and trying them out was worse. Part of me wanted to run and shoo them away, and the other part agreed with my dad when he said 'I just want to tell them to treat them well as there are so many precious memories'
I am very glad to have stayed the whole time. It allowed me to complete the journey of losing my grandparents in the physical realm. Moreso, I am proud to have been there to support my parents and aunt who were all very close. My dad worked side by side with my grandpa for almost a decade and was just as much of a son to grandpa if not more than his own. I am glad that God gave me the strength to get through the day with only minimal tears, so I could be the arms that held them all tight and offer the love they needed.
At the end of the auction there were some boxes of random items that didn't sell. We offered to take a load to goodwill for my Aunt and ease her burden. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the lamp that had sat by my grandma's chair sitting amongst the boxes. I had secretly wanted that lamp, but didn't feel it right to ask as I already had so many of their possessions. Aunt Connie said to take it and Phil said keep it and I smiled as I loaded up the lamp. My friend told me that my guardian angel knew I needed it and saved it back for me. Phil and I sorted through the boxes last night (some had books which we wanted to keep). I opened one and there on the top was grandpa's glass. I caught my breath and then ran sobbing into Phil's arms, I wasn't expecting to see that. I was surprised that it wasn't with the rest of the set, and I held it back to keep for now.
This has been a hard road to journey. I am grateful for the love that has surrounded me. Phil never once questioned my need to go, he supported me through every trip. Driving us down, holding my hand when we left while I stared out the window with tears streaming down my face. Our budget is very tight and the gas allotment allows for one out of town trip a month. Financing never came up, if I needed to go we went. I didn't realize this until after the fact and it caused me to cry tears of gratitude. It's made my love for Phil grow, and to appreciate that he is emotionally tuned in to my needs. I just hope that I can be half as amazing to him as we say goodbye to his grandpa this week as he has been for me.
Yesterday was my grandparents' estate auction. I had been dreading this event from the moment I heard it was happening. The idea of strangers pilfering through their belongings and then hauling them away was unsettling. I told Phil that I didn't want to even be there. However, I knew myself well enough to know that, as hard as it may be, if I didn't go I'd regret it down the road.
The original plan was to get there ahead of time, see everything laid out along with the antiques that even my mother had never seen, and then journey on down the road to Omaha for a lego robotics convention. Plans changed though as Phil and I both had a rough night of sleep. Miles didn't sleep worth a hoot which meant I didn't either, and Phil couldn't sleep as he is just starting to walk this grief stricken road of losing a beloved grandparent. His Papa Zlomke passed early Friday morning and with it being the last day of the trimester Phil was so busy he didn't get to process that information until evening. With a heavy heart, Phil wasn't so sure that he wanted to try and pretend to be chipper and drive all over the countryside. We are learning that grief is very taxing on one's energy.
We ended up staying for the whole auction. My heart paused when I saw everything laid out. There were so many things I had never seen, so in that respect it was like any other auction. There were just as many objects that had lots of memories attached, trinkets from around the house, and the furniture. Like Phil said, seeing grandpa's chair sitting empty against the wall was the final piece of closure that yes, he's really gone, this era is really over. It was the hardest part of the auction. That, and seeing the bed that they breathed their last in, and their chairs. I kept having to turn my head and not look, because as upsetting as it was to see them empty of my grandparents' presence, the times I glanced and saw strangers sitting and trying them out was worse. Part of me wanted to run and shoo them away, and the other part agreed with my dad when he said 'I just want to tell them to treat them well as there are so many precious memories'
I am very glad to have stayed the whole time. It allowed me to complete the journey of losing my grandparents in the physical realm. Moreso, I am proud to have been there to support my parents and aunt who were all very close. My dad worked side by side with my grandpa for almost a decade and was just as much of a son to grandpa if not more than his own. I am glad that God gave me the strength to get through the day with only minimal tears, so I could be the arms that held them all tight and offer the love they needed.
At the end of the auction there were some boxes of random items that didn't sell. We offered to take a load to goodwill for my Aunt and ease her burden. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the lamp that had sat by my grandma's chair sitting amongst the boxes. I had secretly wanted that lamp, but didn't feel it right to ask as I already had so many of their possessions. Aunt Connie said to take it and Phil said keep it and I smiled as I loaded up the lamp. My friend told me that my guardian angel knew I needed it and saved it back for me. Phil and I sorted through the boxes last night (some had books which we wanted to keep). I opened one and there on the top was grandpa's glass. I caught my breath and then ran sobbing into Phil's arms, I wasn't expecting to see that. I was surprised that it wasn't with the rest of the set, and I held it back to keep for now.
This has been a hard road to journey. I am grateful for the love that has surrounded me. Phil never once questioned my need to go, he supported me through every trip. Driving us down, holding my hand when we left while I stared out the window with tears streaming down my face. Our budget is very tight and the gas allotment allows for one out of town trip a month. Financing never came up, if I needed to go we went. I didn't realize this until after the fact and it caused me to cry tears of gratitude. It's made my love for Phil grow, and to appreciate that he is emotionally tuned in to my needs. I just hope that I can be half as amazing to him as we say goodbye to his grandpa this week as he has been for me.
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