You ever have something that you want to talk about, but it's such a long story that you don't know where to begin? That's where I'm at right now, how to talk about the star in my life that is fading out. It has been coming for months now, and I couldn't hardly think about it, let alone discuss it with those closest to me. I cannot be a vegetarian any longer. Shocked? Me too!
It all started last summer while pregnant with Miles. I had some craving for meat. Not a big deal, I did while pregnant with Lizzi too. With her I ate the chicken, enjoyed it, felt better, and that was that. I got to continue my pregnancy without further cravings. Wesley was my only true vegetarian pregnancy, I never even had a craving for meat, and he was my biggest baby! But oh goodness with Miles it was another whole story. I felt compelled to eat meat, even though it left me feeling ill. I spoke with an Ob, my midwife, and a slew full of other people who were super knowledgeable about pregnancy. The general consensus was, if you're craving it, your body must need it. So I did, I ate meat every couple of days when the compulsion came. Assuming that once Miles was born I would be able to happily resume my vegetarian ways, I didn't speak about what was going on with the general population.
All was fine for a few days, but once the high of having a baby wore off, the need for meat came back. I sobbed in Phil's arms, for in my heart I knew it was over. I told him that after almost seven years of being a vegetarian, it wasn't going to come easy, accepting this news. Sweet man held me and told me to take all the time that I needed, and that he was happy to know that I was listening to my body.
Feeling betrayed by my body, I returned to the plate that included dead animals, albeit reluctantly. It may sound harsh, but that was where my mind was, all I could see was the tragedy on my plate. I would eat the flesh without trying to think about it, but Phil would ask me questions on taste and texture which forced me to start paying attention. It was difficult and repulsive at first, but then it got easier. One day I realized that I actually liked the way chicken tasted, and oddly enough I had cravings for hamburger. That one blew my mind as the smell of ground beef made me nauseous for years, and Phil had to cook it, which he didn't mind as I am yet to achieve the finesse of cooking meat.
I knew that if I could understand why my body was asking for animal protein that I could make the adjustment a lot easier. I've spent hours of my life trying to relearn nutrition and the human body. What I'm finding is making the mental switch easier, but it's also infuriating. Uncharacteristically of me, I am not including any links. My reasoning is this: I don't want people just taking my word for it, I want them to dig for information and own it and not just take my word for it. I don't want anyone feeling deceived one morning doing what they believed was best because someone else said so, and finding out it was untrue.
I've learned that the book The China Study by T. Collin Campbell has faulty research. This is the book that is most referenced by vegetarian experts as to why humans should be vegetarian. The whole health benefit isn't as true as made out to be. It's a great short term diet to fix a health crises. In fact, over and over again I read stories of vegetarians whose health eventually suffered due to their diet, even though they were doing it 'right'.
Our bodies don't assimilate animal and plant protein the same. I suppose that most people would say 'duh Alicia' to that one. I cannot count how many books written by vegetarian doctors I've read that said otherwise. My latest findings show me that there are amino acids in animals that plants cannot provide, even if you do the old trick of matching foods to make complete proteins with plants. The plants contain the same amino acids, but also have anti-nutrients which render the body unable to utilize those acids.
When given only plant protein our bodies burn excess protein that's stored up. It's a great process and helps keep our bodies clean, but eventually we run out of this excess and start running into troubles. And as I've discovered no amount plant protein loading can correct the problem.
Grains and legumes contain a whole myriad of anti-nutrients which block absorption of crucial minerals. Not to mention the gluten that about 50% of americans have sensitivities to. This was the building block of my vegetarian diet as I'm not the most avid vegetable lover. My friends dubbed me the vegetarian who doesn't like vegetables.
Other things that I'd never considered while living a vegetarian lifestyle. The principle of ahimsa or 'do no harm' cannot be applied to what is on my plate. Death occurs in order to sustain my life, whether that is the animal that is sitting on it, or those that died in order for my plants to grow. As a want to be gardener who has the blackest thumb, I was very surprised to realize how agressive plant agriculture has to be in order to keep animals from eating the crops. This goes to show just how far removed I am from the food that I eat.
The rainforests that I love and got angry about being cleared for livestock are also cleared just as much for plants.
How attractive vegetarianism is to a disordered eater. I thought I had healing from my bulimic tendencies, but the reality is that being a vegetarian allowed me to continue some of that disordered thinking.
How silly it is to eat meat and dairy replacements. Those things, whether made at home or bought at the store, are awful for you.
As I was clinging on to my last shreds of staying veg, I had to ask myself. Was it worth sacrificing my health and the lives of my family members for an animal that couldn't thank me and didn't know it was living because of me? Thankfully I haven't lost every shred of mentality and the answer came easy to me, of course not.
What health issues am I facing because of being a vegetarian for so many years?
It's been almost two years now since my first bout of thyroditis. While no one can say for certain that my diet caused this, I've read enough correlations to believe that it has. In case you're curious, yes, I do believe this was the cause and not an effect of my miscarriage back in 2011.
Gastrointestinal issues. Through the years the gas and subsequent pains from eating legumes has increased. It was so bad while pregnant with Miles that I had to quit eating them. I guess it's no wonder my body cried out. Now, certain legumes are giving me diarrhea, oh joy! I believe I'm one of those gluten sensitive people since too many wheat products cause constipation. It's pretty crazy to me now to see that I've been eating one food to remedy a problem that another created. What a ridiculous way to live.
Exhaustion. Please don't blame it on my having turned 30 in the last year. My body didn't start feeling this way just because I turned 30. I can't blame it on Miles either as he's a good sleeper, which I've never had before. I really think that my body has some deficiencies in spite of my best laid intentions. The exhaustion being my primary concern. If I'm so tired that I need over 10 hours of sleep at night and a nap during the day there is something off. I cannot be a good mom right now because of this. It's a terrifying place to be-- day in and day out-- to be too tired to play with the kids, or go up and down the stairs.
Where do I go from here?
I have a doctor's appointment scheduled in hopes of pointing out certain deficiencies, and to once again check my thyroid as the swelling is spreading.
Finding foods that bring optimal health and enjoyment. I don't want to eat something because I should, or have too, but because I want to and enjoy it. And eat those foods without guilt or remorse. More mental healing from the bulimia that cozied right up to so many veggie principles. Hence the statement about eating without guilt.
Find a new identity. I know that sounds odd, maybe it's because I've worded it incorrectly, but I never realized how much of myself I wrapped up in the label of being a vegetarian.
Discover a whole new cuisine, which shouldn't be an issue since I love to try new food!
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Friday, February 22, 2013
Water Kefir
I bet if you're like me the title of this post has you scratching your head. What in the world is water kefir? When I told Phil that I wanted to try making water kefir he asked me what it was.
A fermented beverage.
Like beer/wine/alcohol?
No honey, more like a probiotic drink that uses fermentation, think yogurt.
We had tried kombucha before, another fermented beverage, and surprisingly everyone in the house (yes, even Abi) liked it. Our whole family loves pop, we just don't drink it unless out of the house because my budget can't swing it. When I read that water kefir was a great substitution for sodas, and was healthy for you, and easy to make, I knew I had landed a goldmine!
Better yet, it was cheap to start making. Twelve dollars and a few days later UPS dropped off my live water kefir cultures. Phil rinsed off the culture while I prepared the water. Are you ready for this? To my blender I added four cups of water, four tablespoons of sugar, a pinch of baking soda, and whizzed it for 30 seconds before adding to the pitcher that housed the kefir culture. 24 hours later we were ready for the first batch.
Knowing that my family loves root beer, I assumed that cream soda would be a slam dunk flavor. Little did I know that Phil and Abi don't like cream soda. However, Lizzi and Wesley chugged it down. Lizzi calls it 'healthy pop' and Wesley calls it juice. Those two bug a boos are currently our kefir drinking champions. The rest of us decided that if you like cream soda it was very tasty.
Same routine and in another 24 hours we were ready for a new flavor--fruit punch. I was added to the familial list of kefir drinkers, but Phil was disappointed at how flat it was since he was looking for a burst of carbonation. Abi is a hard sell and after a tiny sip declared she didn't like it. I let her know that this was a good for your tummy drink and that we would find a flavor for her to enjoy.
Next we decided to wait 48 hours and see if it would be more bubbly. It was, but not enough for Phil. Then we tried 72 hours assuming that it would have the most bubbles but were surprised to find that it was totally flat and tasted like fruit punch we flavored it with. Now that pleased me personally because I am sensitive to yeasty tastes and smells and was having a hard time finding the love. I could drink it, but the kefir didn't call out my name until it hit the 72 hr mark. Also, Abi surprised me by giving it a thumbs up, woohoo!
Last night we started the next experiment round. 24 hour ferment with three bottles on the counter ready for the next stages of 24, 48, and 72 hr second ferments.
Tonight we will start another three bottles with a 48 hr first ferment and will place the bottles on the counter for the same 24, 48, and 72 hr second ferments.
We are curious to see which ferment combination will create the most carbonation and win Phil over to the 'dark side' of healthy!
A fermented beverage.
Like beer/wine/alcohol?
No honey, more like a probiotic drink that uses fermentation, think yogurt.
We had tried kombucha before, another fermented beverage, and surprisingly everyone in the house (yes, even Abi) liked it. Our whole family loves pop, we just don't drink it unless out of the house because my budget can't swing it. When I read that water kefir was a great substitution for sodas, and was healthy for you, and easy to make, I knew I had landed a goldmine!
Better yet, it was cheap to start making. Twelve dollars and a few days later UPS dropped off my live water kefir cultures. Phil rinsed off the culture while I prepared the water. Are you ready for this? To my blender I added four cups of water, four tablespoons of sugar, a pinch of baking soda, and whizzed it for 30 seconds before adding to the pitcher that housed the kefir culture. 24 hours later we were ready for the first batch.
Knowing that my family loves root beer, I assumed that cream soda would be a slam dunk flavor. Little did I know that Phil and Abi don't like cream soda. However, Lizzi and Wesley chugged it down. Lizzi calls it 'healthy pop' and Wesley calls it juice. Those two bug a boos are currently our kefir drinking champions. The rest of us decided that if you like cream soda it was very tasty.
Same routine and in another 24 hours we were ready for a new flavor--fruit punch. I was added to the familial list of kefir drinkers, but Phil was disappointed at how flat it was since he was looking for a burst of carbonation. Abi is a hard sell and after a tiny sip declared she didn't like it. I let her know that this was a good for your tummy drink and that we would find a flavor for her to enjoy.
Next we decided to wait 48 hours and see if it would be more bubbly. It was, but not enough for Phil. Then we tried 72 hours assuming that it would have the most bubbles but were surprised to find that it was totally flat and tasted like fruit punch we flavored it with. Now that pleased me personally because I am sensitive to yeasty tastes and smells and was having a hard time finding the love. I could drink it, but the kefir didn't call out my name until it hit the 72 hr mark. Also, Abi surprised me by giving it a thumbs up, woohoo!
Last night we started the next experiment round. 24 hour ferment with three bottles on the counter ready for the next stages of 24, 48, and 72 hr second ferments.
Tonight we will start another three bottles with a 48 hr first ferment and will place the bottles on the counter for the same 24, 48, and 72 hr second ferments.
We are curious to see which ferment combination will create the most carbonation and win Phil over to the 'dark side' of healthy!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Baby Poll
When I saw the last time I posted on here, I was kinda surprised that it's been so long! I guess when I became an ostrich and hunkered down I didn't realize how quickly time has been passing me by. I know that shortly our world will be thrown into the mind numbing-sleep deprivation-beautifulness of adding a new baby to the family.
Which is why I've been quiet. Trying to soak up these last moments of just three kids. Trying to spend as much time together with them before I am wrapped up in everything baby. I've whittled my social calendar to practically nothing, and have chosen to stay in more often than not. I have absolutely relished in our peaceful quiet family nights. I love that six nights of the week we are all together. Some nights playing together, others listening to sibling bonds being forged.
My kitchen has been in use as well. Nothing new or exciting, other than the challenge of making a months worth of meals by skimming off the top of the last two months budget. I managed to fill up our deep freeze with only a $25 extension of my regular budget, a proud moment for me! Being a bit prideful, I've showed off our treasure hold, and I love hearing Wesley say 'I wunna see the mussins for when baby comes!'.
Today we took a family poll on all things baby. It was quite amusing to hear each child deliberate over their answers. And I must confess that 95% of the time, no matter how he is asked, Wesley says we are having a 'gee-url' or 'zizzy'. We are waiting to see if he is a baby guessing progeny like his Grandma Rose.
Here are our current kiddos stats, feel free to join in on the guessing fun right along with us!
Abi 12/5, 6:31pm, 8lbs 14oz 19.5 in, blue eyes, didn't sleep through the night until almost 2, colicky
Lizzi 10/7, 2:42am, 9lbs 5oz, 20in, blue eyes, didn't sleep through the night until almost 2, no colic
Wesley 6/3, 12:34pm, 10lbs 8oz, 22.5in, brown eyes, didn't sleep through the night until almost 2, no colic
Disclaimer: I have none of the usual 'feelings' on what this baby is, so my guess is just as much as a guess as anyones! Oh, and our due date is 1/28/2013
Abi guesses this will be a girl born on an odd night. Weighing less than 9.5lbs and shorter than 20inches before the 20th of January. Blue eyes, not a sleeper and colicky like her.
Lizzi guesses this will be a girl born on an odd morning. Weighing more than 9.5lbs and shorter than 20inches before the 20th of January. Blue eyes who's a sleeper and not colicky.
Wesley guesses this will be a girl born on an odd morning. Weighing less than 9.5 lbs and longer than 20 inches after the 20th of January. Brown eyes, not a sleeper and colicky.
Phil guesses this will be a boy born on an even night. Weighing more than 9.5lbs and longer than 20 inches after the 20th of January. Blue eyed sleeper with no colic.
Alicia guesses this will be a girl born on an even night. Weighing less than 9.5lbs and shorter than 20 inches before the 20th of January. Brown eyed sleeper with no colic.
Which is why I've been quiet. Trying to soak up these last moments of just three kids. Trying to spend as much time together with them before I am wrapped up in everything baby. I've whittled my social calendar to practically nothing, and have chosen to stay in more often than not. I have absolutely relished in our peaceful quiet family nights. I love that six nights of the week we are all together. Some nights playing together, others listening to sibling bonds being forged.
My kitchen has been in use as well. Nothing new or exciting, other than the challenge of making a months worth of meals by skimming off the top of the last two months budget. I managed to fill up our deep freeze with only a $25 extension of my regular budget, a proud moment for me! Being a bit prideful, I've showed off our treasure hold, and I love hearing Wesley say 'I wunna see the mussins for when baby comes!'.
Today we took a family poll on all things baby. It was quite amusing to hear each child deliberate over their answers. And I must confess that 95% of the time, no matter how he is asked, Wesley says we are having a 'gee-url' or 'zizzy'. We are waiting to see if he is a baby guessing progeny like his Grandma Rose.
Here are our current kiddos stats, feel free to join in on the guessing fun right along with us!
Abi 12/5, 6:31pm, 8lbs 14oz 19.5 in, blue eyes, didn't sleep through the night until almost 2, colicky
Lizzi 10/7, 2:42am, 9lbs 5oz, 20in, blue eyes, didn't sleep through the night until almost 2, no colic
Wesley 6/3, 12:34pm, 10lbs 8oz, 22.5in, brown eyes, didn't sleep through the night until almost 2, no colic
Disclaimer: I have none of the usual 'feelings' on what this baby is, so my guess is just as much as a guess as anyones! Oh, and our due date is 1/28/2013
Abi guesses this will be a girl born on an odd night. Weighing less than 9.5lbs and shorter than 20inches before the 20th of January. Blue eyes, not a sleeper and colicky like her.
Lizzi guesses this will be a girl born on an odd morning. Weighing more than 9.5lbs and shorter than 20inches before the 20th of January. Blue eyes who's a sleeper and not colicky.
Wesley guesses this will be a girl born on an odd morning. Weighing less than 9.5 lbs and longer than 20 inches after the 20th of January. Brown eyes, not a sleeper and colicky.
Phil guesses this will be a boy born on an even night. Weighing more than 9.5lbs and longer than 20 inches after the 20th of January. Blue eyed sleeper with no colic.
Alicia guesses this will be a girl born on an even night. Weighing less than 9.5lbs and shorter than 20 inches before the 20th of January. Brown eyed sleeper with no colic.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
GF pumpkin muffins
I made a new friend, hooray! I know it sounds silly, but being an extrovert by practice only, I find it rather difficult to come out of my shell and reach out, really reach out, to people. I'm so glad that I did, she is such a sweet new mama (and the fact that her five month old grins like crazy at me is a double bonus!), and we have lots to offer each other.
When I found out that she had Celiac's disease, I was glad that I knew about it, and had a few recipes up my sleeve to be able to make for get togethers. Then new friend let me know that oats weren't acceptable unless certified gluten free. Gulp! There goes my little arsenal of recipes. Challenge accepted.
From past failures I knew that the two biggest challenges to gluten free baking was rising/lightness of crumb, and binding. My poor kids have been subjected to some less than stellar muffins, more crumbly than delectable crumb. I've found that substituting baking soda for salt helps with the rising factor, and now I tend to do that for all baked goods, gluten free or not. I was banking on the fact that eggs are good binders to make a yummy oat free muffin, and thankfully it paid off!
When the muffins were done, I opened the door and was greeted with tall fall smelling muffins. First hurdle jumped. After letting them cool for a few minutes, little hands started popping them out. The mmm's weren't too far behind. I looked at the table expecting to see lots of crumbs, and was delighted that there weren't any! Now for the final test, how do I like them? Excellent, even Phil thought so.
After delightful taste testing, I thought it might be prudent to double check with new friend to make sure that everything I used was kosher for her. Sadly, I learned that while my ingredients themselves were gluten free, two of them didn't come from a dedicated factory, so she wouldn't be able to eat them. However, these little gems are just too yummy to not share. And on the off chance that you have a friend whose gluten free needs aren't quite as strict as mine, or you want to change up your own muffin menu, here you go!
Adapted from The Best Pumpkin Muffins in Vegan with a Vengeance by Isa Chandra Moskowitz
1/3c + 1/4c corn meal
1/3c + 1/4c corn flour
1/3c + 1/4c corn starch
1c sugar
1 Tbsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp allspice
1/8 tsp cloves
1 cup pumpkin
1/2c milk
1/2c olive oil
3 eggs
2 tbsp molasses or sorghum syrup
mix dry ingredients together. In separate bowl, combine wet. Mix wet and dry together well. Bake in well greased muffin tin at 400 degrees until done. Isa's recipe says it takes 18-20 minutes. I don't know if my oven runs hot, or it's the nature of gluten free goodies, but it only takes 10 minutes for mini and 13-15 minutes for regular sized muffins.
Enjoy!
When I found out that she had Celiac's disease, I was glad that I knew about it, and had a few recipes up my sleeve to be able to make for get togethers. Then new friend let me know that oats weren't acceptable unless certified gluten free. Gulp! There goes my little arsenal of recipes. Challenge accepted.
From past failures I knew that the two biggest challenges to gluten free baking was rising/lightness of crumb, and binding. My poor kids have been subjected to some less than stellar muffins, more crumbly than delectable crumb. I've found that substituting baking soda for salt helps with the rising factor, and now I tend to do that for all baked goods, gluten free or not. I was banking on the fact that eggs are good binders to make a yummy oat free muffin, and thankfully it paid off!
When the muffins were done, I opened the door and was greeted with tall fall smelling muffins. First hurdle jumped. After letting them cool for a few minutes, little hands started popping them out. The mmm's weren't too far behind. I looked at the table expecting to see lots of crumbs, and was delighted that there weren't any! Now for the final test, how do I like them? Excellent, even Phil thought so.
After delightful taste testing, I thought it might be prudent to double check with new friend to make sure that everything I used was kosher for her. Sadly, I learned that while my ingredients themselves were gluten free, two of them didn't come from a dedicated factory, so she wouldn't be able to eat them. However, these little gems are just too yummy to not share. And on the off chance that you have a friend whose gluten free needs aren't quite as strict as mine, or you want to change up your own muffin menu, here you go!
Adapted from The Best Pumpkin Muffins in Vegan with a Vengeance by Isa Chandra Moskowitz
1/3c + 1/4c corn meal
1/3c + 1/4c corn flour
1/3c + 1/4c corn starch
1c sugar
1 Tbsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp allspice
1/8 tsp cloves
1 cup pumpkin
1/2c milk
1/2c olive oil
3 eggs
2 tbsp molasses or sorghum syrup
mix dry ingredients together. In separate bowl, combine wet. Mix wet and dry together well. Bake in well greased muffin tin at 400 degrees until done. Isa's recipe says it takes 18-20 minutes. I don't know if my oven runs hot, or it's the nature of gluten free goodies, but it only takes 10 minutes for mini and 13-15 minutes for regular sized muffins.
Enjoy!
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Memorable Evening
Back up with me to Sunday afternoon of Labor Day weekend. We were over at Susan and Jason's place (Phil's sis and brother in law) playing games. All the kids were either napping or contentedly playing. All of the sudden Rose (Phil's mom) announces that she wants to take all of the grandkids back to her house. We all turn and look at her like she's gone off the deep end. It may not seem like a big task, until you know the ages of all the grands. Our three are 7.5, a month shy of being 5, and 2. Susans' boys are 2.5 and 1. Three boys under the age of three. Yup, we were certain that she'd lost it. Rose however was very insistent that it'd be fun and they'd be fine. We promised to pray for her and keep the phones close.
After some car seat arranging, they were off, and all of the sudden we had two hours to do whatever we wanted! Phil and I looked at each other, and when I suggested tofu spring rolls, we were gone with a flash.
Side Note: We go to the Vietanne restaurant pretty much every time we get a date night, and if it's too far in between, Phil will actually go and get a take out order of the spring rolls. It's a place that we could take the kids, but most likely would be greeted with 'eww' and 'I don't like that'. For as many new foods as we like to try, and diverse eating patterns, Abi has decided to not like anything Asian. Well, except for sesame chicken and fried donuts, but that's more american asian and not authentic. So Vietanne (pronounced vee-uh-chung) is our secret little getaway. A family owned restaurant with amazing authentic food, and we go there often enough that 'Alex' (his american name b/cuz we americans cannot pronounce his real one) knows what we're there for. So if you are adventurous, go there and you're palette will never be the same. Even if you're not the pad tai will change your idea of what pad tai is forever.
Ok, plug over.
We enjoyed our spring rolls, and then decided to go look at this little farm right on the outskirts of town. We drove around taking the extra long way there, enjoying some good conversation on the way. In case you're curious, the farmhouse itself looks great, the property, not so much. But we've got to dream dreams, so it's always fun to look.
We get home and are nearing the end of our time, when Phil gets a text saying they're running a bit late and will be home in maybe a half hour. Then a few minutes later 'I'm keeping them for an overnight'. We look at each other and wonder if Abi got a hold of grandma's phone, and then call. Nope, everything is going so well that she really wants to keep all five of the kiddos for the night. I'm a bit nervous as Wesley had not been away overnight from me before, and I'm sure it showed as I started detailing his bedtime habits.
Stunned, Phil and I are kind of at a loss of what to do. We've not had a night without any kids since our babymoon trip while pregnant with Wesley back in April 2010. We start throwing out ideas. Go to the movies, do some work around the house, go out on the town. Each one gets shot down by the other. I don't want to pay to sit and watch a movie, especially with my annoying pregnant bladder. Phil doesn't want to do anything around the house because we could do that when the kids are home. With it being Sunday night there's nothing to do out on the town. 'We could try riding the tandem bike, I'll know in a block or two whether or not it'll be comfy for me'. Change of clothes, water packed, and we're off.
Since we traded Phil's road bike in for the tandem this summer we've not had the chance to go on it just the two of us. Usually we hook the bike trailer on the tandem and pull Wesley while the girls ride their bikes. It's quite the circus to see, in fact Abi saw someone taking pictures of us once!
I was quite pleased to discover that I could still belly wise be comfortable on the bike. That's the great thing about our tandem, as the passenger, I can sit up straight and just pedal. No leaning forward necessary. Since we were having a great time, and I could actually hear Phil, we decided to trek out to Hall Country Park. It's a 5.25 mile ride there from our home. Things were going great, we made it out there in splendid time. While I was in the restroom Phil got a text from his sister saying that Wesley was having a rough time. Cue mama guilt and concern. Contacted Rose to see if we needed to come get him, but she said she'd try a few more tricks with him, and thankfully he settled in just fine.
As I was getting tired and hungry, we turned around and headed back, with the plans to go back to Susan and Jason's for more games. We crossed Stolley Park road, when our front tire went totally flat. It was getting dark, so I was very grateful that Phil was with me. I'm a bit more nervous about being out after dark in Grand Island than I ever was in Kearney. With no other options than to push the bike back, we started out, hoping that Phil's sister would be home by the time we got there. No such luck, so we left the bike parked at their place and texted them to let them know what was up. It was about a 2.5 mile walk by the time we got home, and I haven't been so sweaty or shaky in a long time. Give the pregnant lady some props, I biked 8 miles and walked 2.5 with only some tofu spring rolls to tide me over!
We got cleaned up, ate some stick to your ribs food, and headed out once again, at ten o'clock at night. Now those of you who know me might be thinking that was a typo. I assure you, crazy as it may seem for this go-to-bed-around-9pm-each-night girl, I really did leave my home at 10pm! This is why I shouldn't have nights away from the kids, I self-destruct immediately. No, actually Phil had pleaded with me to stay up and enjoy some time with Susan and Jason sans kids. There was the promise of sleeping in for me the next day, and as much as dislike staying up late, I agreed.
Here's the next shocker, I agreed to play a strategy game. I'd much rather play word games such as scrabble, boggle, 3d scrabble, etc. However, Phil's whole family loves this game called Settlers of Catan. We'd just gifted them the Seafarers version as a 'hooray for signing on with GI clinic!'. Not only am I staying up late, I'm playing a strategy game. Not only am I playing a strategy game, I'm learning a new one, an hour past my bedtime, without any caffeine. Not only did I stay up hours past my bedtime playing a new strategy game, but I won! Usually halfway through the game I either get stuck or bored. It happened this time too, but no one else was doing much, and by golly, I wanted to go to bed. So I thought to myself, 'fiiiiiine, I'll take the looong way around and maaaaybe I can do something'. Winning my bedtime back never felt so good. Of course, next time I play I'll probably be the mark...
Phil stayed good to his promise and let me sleep in. Even more shocking was that I actually did, until 8:40ish! He made me breakfast, and then he cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, all the way until lunch. I teased him that he was nesting. He saw it as a way to continue to say thanks for sacrificing the night before, and helping me out with some little things that I don't get done. Like cleaning the front of the fridge, the sides of the table, the patio door. Little things that I can overlook because there is usually more pressing needs such as cooking, laundry, or general tidying.
It was a wonderful time, and when the kids came running in the door screaming we're home and running up to give us hugs, it ended perfectly.
After some car seat arranging, they were off, and all of the sudden we had two hours to do whatever we wanted! Phil and I looked at each other, and when I suggested tofu spring rolls, we were gone with a flash.
Side Note: We go to the Vietanne restaurant pretty much every time we get a date night, and if it's too far in between, Phil will actually go and get a take out order of the spring rolls. It's a place that we could take the kids, but most likely would be greeted with 'eww' and 'I don't like that'. For as many new foods as we like to try, and diverse eating patterns, Abi has decided to not like anything Asian. Well, except for sesame chicken and fried donuts, but that's more american asian and not authentic. So Vietanne (pronounced vee-uh-chung) is our secret little getaway. A family owned restaurant with amazing authentic food, and we go there often enough that 'Alex' (his american name b/cuz we americans cannot pronounce his real one) knows what we're there for. So if you are adventurous, go there and you're palette will never be the same. Even if you're not the pad tai will change your idea of what pad tai is forever.
Ok, plug over.
We enjoyed our spring rolls, and then decided to go look at this little farm right on the outskirts of town. We drove around taking the extra long way there, enjoying some good conversation on the way. In case you're curious, the farmhouse itself looks great, the property, not so much. But we've got to dream dreams, so it's always fun to look.
We get home and are nearing the end of our time, when Phil gets a text saying they're running a bit late and will be home in maybe a half hour. Then a few minutes later 'I'm keeping them for an overnight'. We look at each other and wonder if Abi got a hold of grandma's phone, and then call. Nope, everything is going so well that she really wants to keep all five of the kiddos for the night. I'm a bit nervous as Wesley had not been away overnight from me before, and I'm sure it showed as I started detailing his bedtime habits.
Stunned, Phil and I are kind of at a loss of what to do. We've not had a night without any kids since our babymoon trip while pregnant with Wesley back in April 2010. We start throwing out ideas. Go to the movies, do some work around the house, go out on the town. Each one gets shot down by the other. I don't want to pay to sit and watch a movie, especially with my annoying pregnant bladder. Phil doesn't want to do anything around the house because we could do that when the kids are home. With it being Sunday night there's nothing to do out on the town. 'We could try riding the tandem bike, I'll know in a block or two whether or not it'll be comfy for me'. Change of clothes, water packed, and we're off.
Since we traded Phil's road bike in for the tandem this summer we've not had the chance to go on it just the two of us. Usually we hook the bike trailer on the tandem and pull Wesley while the girls ride their bikes. It's quite the circus to see, in fact Abi saw someone taking pictures of us once!
I was quite pleased to discover that I could still belly wise be comfortable on the bike. That's the great thing about our tandem, as the passenger, I can sit up straight and just pedal. No leaning forward necessary. Since we were having a great time, and I could actually hear Phil, we decided to trek out to Hall Country Park. It's a 5.25 mile ride there from our home. Things were going great, we made it out there in splendid time. While I was in the restroom Phil got a text from his sister saying that Wesley was having a rough time. Cue mama guilt and concern. Contacted Rose to see if we needed to come get him, but she said she'd try a few more tricks with him, and thankfully he settled in just fine.
As I was getting tired and hungry, we turned around and headed back, with the plans to go back to Susan and Jason's for more games. We crossed Stolley Park road, when our front tire went totally flat. It was getting dark, so I was very grateful that Phil was with me. I'm a bit more nervous about being out after dark in Grand Island than I ever was in Kearney. With no other options than to push the bike back, we started out, hoping that Phil's sister would be home by the time we got there. No such luck, so we left the bike parked at their place and texted them to let them know what was up. It was about a 2.5 mile walk by the time we got home, and I haven't been so sweaty or shaky in a long time. Give the pregnant lady some props, I biked 8 miles and walked 2.5 with only some tofu spring rolls to tide me over!
We got cleaned up, ate some stick to your ribs food, and headed out once again, at ten o'clock at night. Now those of you who know me might be thinking that was a typo. I assure you, crazy as it may seem for this go-to-bed-around-9pm-each-night girl, I really did leave my home at 10pm! This is why I shouldn't have nights away from the kids, I self-destruct immediately. No, actually Phil had pleaded with me to stay up and enjoy some time with Susan and Jason sans kids. There was the promise of sleeping in for me the next day, and as much as dislike staying up late, I agreed.
Here's the next shocker, I agreed to play a strategy game. I'd much rather play word games such as scrabble, boggle, 3d scrabble, etc. However, Phil's whole family loves this game called Settlers of Catan. We'd just gifted them the Seafarers version as a 'hooray for signing on with GI clinic!'. Not only am I staying up late, I'm playing a strategy game. Not only am I playing a strategy game, I'm learning a new one, an hour past my bedtime, without any caffeine. Not only did I stay up hours past my bedtime playing a new strategy game, but I won! Usually halfway through the game I either get stuck or bored. It happened this time too, but no one else was doing much, and by golly, I wanted to go to bed. So I thought to myself, 'fiiiiiine, I'll take the looong way around and maaaaybe I can do something'. Winning my bedtime back never felt so good. Of course, next time I play I'll probably be the mark...
Phil stayed good to his promise and let me sleep in. Even more shocking was that I actually did, until 8:40ish! He made me breakfast, and then he cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, all the way until lunch. I teased him that he was nesting. He saw it as a way to continue to say thanks for sacrificing the night before, and helping me out with some little things that I don't get done. Like cleaning the front of the fridge, the sides of the table, the patio door. Little things that I can overlook because there is usually more pressing needs such as cooking, laundry, or general tidying.
It was a wonderful time, and when the kids came running in the door screaming we're home and running up to give us hugs, it ended perfectly.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
cake donut pancakes
I cannot even begin to describe how wonderful it is to be feeling well again. I was starting to think that I was going to be ill the whole pregnancy! This is the perfect time of summer to be feeling well too. Everyone else's gardens are producing a plethora of veggies, and we have been the blessed recipients of that sharing. Now that I'm feeling better I can make great use of what we've been bequeathed. Yesterday found me in the kitchen whipping up a batch of Red Velvet Brownies. It used beets as the base. It was a meh kind of recipe, but if you want to try it out yourself I found it over at vegetarian times' website. I've also got a huge bowl of refrigerator bread and butter pickles waiting for the taste test. A zucchini in the fridge, and a couple of cups of cherry tomatoes (can you say sun dried tomatoes?!) waiting for me.
All of this leads me to be thrilled to share a recipe that I actually concocted. I will tell you that the idea for the recipe came from reading so many different ones over at chocolate covered katie. The inspiration came from needing so much extra protein. On one of the first mornings that I felt more human than zombie, I decided to make pancakes. My children have a strange love of the humble pancake, which I rarely share. In fact I usually make pancakes once a week. Since I get bored making the same thing every week, I try and come up with different cakes or syrups, depending on my mood. Not wanting to make two separate breakfasts and over spend myself too quickly, I decided that I would be eating along with them. But how to sneak the protein in? I never thought I'd say this, but I am sick and tired of peanut butter (when it's all you can choke down for weeks on end you probably would be too!), so I knew I didn't want to slather that on top of my pancake. Eggs and pancakes don't mix in my culinary world, so that was out. Hmm, but I do have a batch of white beans just sitting and languishing in the fridge. Casting a glance over my shoulder I notice that the now picky eating Abi isn't paying me any attention. So I go for it. Whip out the food processor, and blend some beans with other pancake like ingredients.
I'm sure that if you are anything like my husband, you just cringed hearing that I put beans in our pancakes. I opted not to tell them while they were eating so there wouldn't be any preconceived notions. The verdict, total awesomeness! Lizzi requested chocolate syrup on them since they were chocolate, and since flavored corn syrup is flavored corn syrup, whether maple or chocolate I agreed it would be a great idea. They loved it. I practically had to rub my eyes at how quickly they scarfed them down and (literally) licked their plates clean. When I finally got the chance to sit down and try a bite, I was pleasantly surprised. They reminded me of cake donuts. While I'm not a big cake donut fan, I did enjoy these little morsels with some chocolate syrup drizzled on the top. I'm sure there was a big goofy grin on my face knowing that I just successfully got my kids to eat beans without any negative remarks!
If you are having a moment of reader apprehension, ease your mind in knowing that Phil doesn't like beans unless they are in his chili or burrito. He has never liked anything that has beans blended into it. He's eaten these babies without a word otherwise, and yes he knew what was in them. Of course it may be him not wanting to hurt my sensitive pregnant ego, but my bestie has eaten them too and said 'not bad'.
And without further adieu....Cake Donut Pancakes!
If you get brave enough to try, stop back and comment on your experience!
All of this leads me to be thrilled to share a recipe that I actually concocted. I will tell you that the idea for the recipe came from reading so many different ones over at chocolate covered katie. The inspiration came from needing so much extra protein. On one of the first mornings that I felt more human than zombie, I decided to make pancakes. My children have a strange love of the humble pancake, which I rarely share. In fact I usually make pancakes once a week. Since I get bored making the same thing every week, I try and come up with different cakes or syrups, depending on my mood. Not wanting to make two separate breakfasts and over spend myself too quickly, I decided that I would be eating along with them. But how to sneak the protein in? I never thought I'd say this, but I am sick and tired of peanut butter (when it's all you can choke down for weeks on end you probably would be too!), so I knew I didn't want to slather that on top of my pancake. Eggs and pancakes don't mix in my culinary world, so that was out. Hmm, but I do have a batch of white beans just sitting and languishing in the fridge. Casting a glance over my shoulder I notice that the now picky eating Abi isn't paying me any attention. So I go for it. Whip out the food processor, and blend some beans with other pancake like ingredients.
I'm sure that if you are anything like my husband, you just cringed hearing that I put beans in our pancakes. I opted not to tell them while they were eating so there wouldn't be any preconceived notions. The verdict, total awesomeness! Lizzi requested chocolate syrup on them since they were chocolate, and since flavored corn syrup is flavored corn syrup, whether maple or chocolate I agreed it would be a great idea. They loved it. I practically had to rub my eyes at how quickly they scarfed them down and (literally) licked their plates clean. When I finally got the chance to sit down and try a bite, I was pleasantly surprised. They reminded me of cake donuts. While I'm not a big cake donut fan, I did enjoy these little morsels with some chocolate syrup drizzled on the top. I'm sure there was a big goofy grin on my face knowing that I just successfully got my kids to eat beans without any negative remarks!
If you are having a moment of reader apprehension, ease your mind in knowing that Phil doesn't like beans unless they are in his chili or burrito. He has never liked anything that has beans blended into it. He's eaten these babies without a word otherwise, and yes he knew what was in them. Of course it may be him not wanting to hurt my sensitive pregnant ego, but my bestie has eaten them too and said 'not bad'.
And without further adieu....Cake Donut Pancakes!
Cake Donut Pancakes
in a food processor blend well the following ingredients:
2 c white beans (if canned I would rinse off first)
2 c oatmeal
4 Tbsp brown sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 Tbsp baking powder
2 Tbsp Cocoa powder
1.5 c milk (or to desired thinness)
preheat griddle to 300 degrees. Spray with oil or butter generously. Scoop batter onto hot griddle, silver dollar size works best. Cook like normal pancakes. Top with syrup of choice. Enjoy!
If you get brave enough to try, stop back and comment on your experience!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Plot Twist
About two months ago, I had this dream that I was at my old daycare girlie's second birthday party and they announced that they were pregnant again. I told Phil about my dream, and he laughed and said yes and the plot twist was that they asked you to be their sitter, but in a double plot twist you had to decline because you were pregnant yourself!
We had a good laugh, but always joked about what if we had our own plot twist someday down the road. Earlier this spring we decided that after our loss last fall, we were perfectly content with our family, and were through pursuing adding any additional children. In a move that we hadn't done in a very long time, most likely years at this point, we started using the diaphragm once again. Since I am allergic to spermicide and using a diaphragm without it reduces the efficacy by 30%, I also prayed for God to keep my womb closed. Which He did.
Fast forward a few months, and I had a heart to heart with God. I told Him that I was struggling with our decision to say that we were done. Not that I wanted any more children right now, but I longed to carry life within me again. I left it at that, a longing that I someday wished to have fulfilled.
Throughout the month of May, my spirit was very unsettled, and I could tell something was happening. I'm pretty in tune with my body, so there were little moments that left me going 'huh, that's odd'. As the days before my menses was due, I was even more ruffled. None of the usual signs were cropping up, and my cervix was strangely closed. The day my period was supposed to start, I confessed to my sister that I feared I was pregnant. Wise lady answered, what will be will be and God will bring you through it. She of course thought I was crazy for thinking that when I wasn't even late yet!
The next day I found a reason to go out and buy a pregnancy test. It was so hard to wait until the following morning to use the test! I managed to wait, and tada, positive! Even when I am I fairly sure that I'm pregnant, that moment of going from certainly knowing to knowing for certain is quite shocking.
I quickly raced out the door for my morning prayer walk. Let's just say I had a lot to discuss with God. Ok, mostly question His wisdom and tell Him that I felt a little used. I tell you my real feelings and you step in and allow new life to form, are you crazy?!
I got home and debated about telling Phil. It was his last day of school with students and I didn't want to ruin it for him. But I decided that I was quite a wreck and needed him, and since it takes two to tango, I figured he was man enough to deal and support me. When I woke him up and told him that we had our own little plot twist, he was grinning ear to ear. He told me later in fact that he received this news the most joyously out of all of them.
Never in my life have I faced such opposing emotions simultaneously. One moment I'm elated, we are brining forth life once again, there will be a new member in our family! And in that same breath, utter terror. What if this one is bound for glory instead of my arms. I'm not sure I am strong enough to go through such a loss again. Each time there is a stretch in my womb these thoughts and feelings hit me once again. But I have decided to at least try and trust. Trust that everything will go in the direction of life and not loss this time. Trust that if loss happens that God will bring me through it once again. And choosing to love fiercely, because every day is a gift, and if today is the only day I get to love on this little one, than so be it. I will have no regrets.
Phil has been most tender and open to me these few weeks. The morning sickness and fatigue has hit me like a train wreck, and it takes a lot for me to get out of bed. Today I couldn't even manage it. I called him in the bedroom and asked if he could make me some breakfast because I felt to ill and weak to get up. That amazing man answered, 'already being taken care of, do you think you could handle some eggs?' And he tells me that I'm beautiful. Even though my nose is raw from a summer cold, my hair is disheveled, I'm an rare shade of gray, and I probably look as crappy as I feel. He laughs when I say, 'well the great thing about being sick is that I know I'm still pregnant', easing my fears. And he listens to each baby fact of the day that comes from my mouth. Which I can guarantee is more than just one!
Phil has probably told more people that we are expecting than I have! I love that he gets to say it with joy and excitement, and with none of the fear and apprehension that I have. He asks people what I am asking of you now. Pray for this pregnancy, and for Alicia. We are telling everyone early so that they may experience our joy alongside us. We are asking to be covered in prayer that we may meet this little one on this side of heaven. That everything will be alright.
Join us as our lives take a new journey. With a twist in the plot sometime around January 28, 2013!
We had a good laugh, but always joked about what if we had our own plot twist someday down the road. Earlier this spring we decided that after our loss last fall, we were perfectly content with our family, and were through pursuing adding any additional children. In a move that we hadn't done in a very long time, most likely years at this point, we started using the diaphragm once again. Since I am allergic to spermicide and using a diaphragm without it reduces the efficacy by 30%, I also prayed for God to keep my womb closed. Which He did.
Fast forward a few months, and I had a heart to heart with God. I told Him that I was struggling with our decision to say that we were done. Not that I wanted any more children right now, but I longed to carry life within me again. I left it at that, a longing that I someday wished to have fulfilled.
Throughout the month of May, my spirit was very unsettled, and I could tell something was happening. I'm pretty in tune with my body, so there were little moments that left me going 'huh, that's odd'. As the days before my menses was due, I was even more ruffled. None of the usual signs were cropping up, and my cervix was strangely closed. The day my period was supposed to start, I confessed to my sister that I feared I was pregnant. Wise lady answered, what will be will be and God will bring you through it. She of course thought I was crazy for thinking that when I wasn't even late yet!
The next day I found a reason to go out and buy a pregnancy test. It was so hard to wait until the following morning to use the test! I managed to wait, and tada, positive! Even when I am I fairly sure that I'm pregnant, that moment of going from certainly knowing to knowing for certain is quite shocking.
I quickly raced out the door for my morning prayer walk. Let's just say I had a lot to discuss with God. Ok, mostly question His wisdom and tell Him that I felt a little used. I tell you my real feelings and you step in and allow new life to form, are you crazy?!
I got home and debated about telling Phil. It was his last day of school with students and I didn't want to ruin it for him. But I decided that I was quite a wreck and needed him, and since it takes two to tango, I figured he was man enough to deal and support me. When I woke him up and told him that we had our own little plot twist, he was grinning ear to ear. He told me later in fact that he received this news the most joyously out of all of them.
Never in my life have I faced such opposing emotions simultaneously. One moment I'm elated, we are brining forth life once again, there will be a new member in our family! And in that same breath, utter terror. What if this one is bound for glory instead of my arms. I'm not sure I am strong enough to go through such a loss again. Each time there is a stretch in my womb these thoughts and feelings hit me once again. But I have decided to at least try and trust. Trust that everything will go in the direction of life and not loss this time. Trust that if loss happens that God will bring me through it once again. And choosing to love fiercely, because every day is a gift, and if today is the only day I get to love on this little one, than so be it. I will have no regrets.
Phil has been most tender and open to me these few weeks. The morning sickness and fatigue has hit me like a train wreck, and it takes a lot for me to get out of bed. Today I couldn't even manage it. I called him in the bedroom and asked if he could make me some breakfast because I felt to ill and weak to get up. That amazing man answered, 'already being taken care of, do you think you could handle some eggs?' And he tells me that I'm beautiful. Even though my nose is raw from a summer cold, my hair is disheveled, I'm an rare shade of gray, and I probably look as crappy as I feel. He laughs when I say, 'well the great thing about being sick is that I know I'm still pregnant', easing my fears. And he listens to each baby fact of the day that comes from my mouth. Which I can guarantee is more than just one!
Phil has probably told more people that we are expecting than I have! I love that he gets to say it with joy and excitement, and with none of the fear and apprehension that I have. He asks people what I am asking of you now. Pray for this pregnancy, and for Alicia. We are telling everyone early so that they may experience our joy alongside us. We are asking to be covered in prayer that we may meet this little one on this side of heaven. That everything will be alright.
Join us as our lives take a new journey. With a twist in the plot sometime around January 28, 2013!
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