Lizzi's Birth Story

Lizzi turns four tomorrow.  Not sure where how she got to be so grown up, but she is!  Her birth story is one that spans across a few days.  During which time I didn't get hardly any sleep.  In fact by the time she was in my arms, they were so weary I could hardly hold her head up to nurse her for the first time.  I was terrified I would drop her from sheer exhaustion.  Somehow we made it through those first few moments, and she didn't take a spill out of my arms.  For a long time I disliked her birth story, it was semi-traumatic for me.  But in time I realized that sometimes to appreciate what we have, we need to struggle.  With Abi I had the textbook natural childbirth.  Lizzi's had some twists in it, that if I knew then what I knew now, might not be there.  However, it is what it is, and it shaped me, and while it was an epic struggle at the time, I now see all the blessings.  Here is her story written just days after her earthside journey...

When I went to see Barbara (midwife) on Friday the 5th, I found out that I was four cm dilated and 50% effaced.  She told me that since I got that far with basically no braxton hicks that when labor started I needed to boogie on down to the hospital or I might not make it in time  (We lived in Kearney and would have to travel to hastings for the birth where our midwife practiced).  I went home thinking "I just want to be able to go to my party tomorrow and labor can start anytime after that."  So Saturday (the 6th) I went to my baby shower party and had a wonderful time being blessed by the beautiful women in our lives.  We asked Grandma Rose to stay a while longer to watch Abi so we could get my homecoming outfit and the big sister gift.  We got back about two hours later, and I had this feeling like I should get our bags ready (my duedate was the 17th, and we lived in a tiny house so I didn't feel any rush on getting bags packed).  I started getting achy and thought "maybe contractions"  but wasn't sure until I laid down with Abi right before 10pm.  After I got up I called Rachel (best friend since being college roomies, now the kids' Godmama!) to put her on alert and then around 11 called the midwives--Rebecca was on duty--she said I could come in whenever I wanted, I could always leave if labor died out.  So Rachel came and took Abi around 12:30 to drop her off at Rose's.  We headed out shortly thereafter and got to the hospital at 2am.  By the time we got through the admissions process and nurses questions it was 3:30, as we had an especially friendly and chatty nurse.  She suggested that we try to rest as labor wasn't very strong.  So Phil went to the visitors lounge and Rachel slept in the chair.  I tried to rest, but my legs and back ached, so at 4am I got up and started pacing the halls.  At 5am I got in the tub sore and tired just looking for some relief.  I did manage to nod off for about an hour.
Since my labor was dying they brought up the possibility of rupturing my membranes and that Rebecca would be in between 7:30-8 to talk about it.  Rachel and I discussed what we knew about what could happen and at 7:15 I said 'let's go talk to Phil before they come.'  So we did and about 7:30 Rita my nurse came in.  When she mentioned the risk of prolapsed cord followed with a C-section since you weren't engaged I was like 'no way, let's just leave.'  In order to leave I had to be hooked up to the monitors to make sure we were both doing ok.  For a while your heart was tachicardic and Rita said that if we could not get that down soon we'd have to do a cesarian.  Those comments caused my blood pressure and pulse to go through the roof!  So I asked for my music and I laid down.  It took about 10 minutes for us to get calmed down, but we did and we left to walk walmart at about 10am.  We left about an hour later to go to Roses as we were exhausted (and I promised Rita to stay close) and I was just hurting not laboring.  So we went to Roses and I slept for about an hour and a half.
I wanted to see if walking would start my labor up, so Phil, Abi, and I went to the mall.  I walk for a good hour and finally confirmed my suspicions--that I was leaking amniotic fluid.  When we got back to Rose's, I checked the internet and found that, yes, I needed to let my health care provider know.  So I called Rebecca about a half hour after my contractions started again.  She was surprised that as a second time mom that my waters didn't break.  But she told me that once I came in I couldn't leave the hospital without a baby in my arms.  I made up my mind to stay at Roses as long as possible because I didn't want my labor to stop again.  At 9pm I said it is time to go.  I had Phil run in the hospital and have them bring me a wheelchair because I didn't think I could walk in.  Again my contractions were slowing down and I was only 6cm dilated (which is where I was the first time admitted) and had some cervical lip in the front.  So Rebecca suggested walking to make the contractions stay strong and to lean forward with each contraction so your head (which was engaged but not wedged into place) would thin out the rest.  After about 2.5 hours or walking and soaking in the jacuzzi I took the offer to see how far dilated I was.  Much to my utter discouragement I was still only 6cm.  The first check Rebecca had offered to rupture my waters which I declined as I wasn't yet ready for interventions.  But when she offered again I was ready.  It took Phil some convincing, but when I told him how tired I was and scared that if I kept going I wouldn't have enough energy to push you out, he said let's do it.  So we popped the rest of my waters and like Rebecca said, it came hard and fast.  And I guess an hour and a half later you were born.  When it got hard and heavy it felt like a vise grip around my middle and back since I finished so fast it rushed my body to spread my hips so they really hurt.  It seemed like I alternated yelling out about  my hips and back.  I couldn't get comfy at all, every position either my back hurt too much or my legs and hips would cramp.  All I wanted was to sit on the toilet or lay on my stomach, which of course weren't options.  So I took the least offensive-hands and knees.  Except I was leaning so far forward on the pillows that I wasn't pushing effectively so Phil and Rachel would help me up and hold me so I could focus on pushing.  I wore a mask for a while as I was hyperventilating.  It helped me calm down and focus.  After I pushed your head out they kept saying the hard part is done just one or two more pushes for the body.  I was expecting you to slide on out like Abi did so when they kept telling me to push I thought 'can't you just pull it out?  I did the hard part!'  But I did push you out, and since your cord was very short (13inches!) they slid you up between my legs and rolled us over.  You were pretty blue and needed oxygen for 4 minutes and you weren't crying, just whimpering. Bad I guess because you can't clear your lungs without screaming, so they had to make you mad.  I started hemorrhaging and received a shot of pitocin.  My pulse was still high which is bad and I almost had to have something rectally to finish stopping the bleeding.  Thankfully it came down ok on it's own.  And finally I got to just enjoy you my 9lb 5oz baby.  Phil was taking wagers on your size but I didn't say because I didn't want to have the wrong number stuck in my head.  But you were so beautiful with all of that hair and your quiet whimpers.

Extras--I am always amazed at the time warp while in labor.  I felt like it took hours to push lizzi out, when in fact according to our video it was 6 minutes 31 seconds!

If you have ever watched Bill Cosby Himself, there is a part where he says 'put it back, it isn't done cooking yet'.  I felt like that when I saw Lizzi's face for the first time.  She had lots of blotches and had scratched herself badly in utero.  I had a hard time bonding with her at first, but then came to noticed that loving her was like putting on your favorite jeans and sweatshirt.  You don't remember when they first became comfortable and your favorite, but you know that you feel at home when you wear them.  And that's how our relationship has been for the most part.  Two people who just understand each other.  I rarely have struggles with her, it's just peaceful, and I hope it stays that way for a long time!

Thus far Lizzi is what I consider my fat baby.  Even though Wesley weighed over a pound more (10lb 8oz), she was a little ball of fat rolls.  And she had the fatest baby checks that we've ever seen.  When I think of chubby cherubs I think of Lizzi!

The ending line of her letter after the story is as such:
I love you so much Lizzi, may you grow in sweet serenity!