Singing Sweetly

The last half of the week Phil was gone sponsoring a youth group trip.  Rather than be stuck at home as a single mom of three, I packed up the kids and galavanted across central Nebraska visiting friends.  I went with the intentions of refreshing myself in their company, but also gained some insights with their relationships regarding their children.  I really needed that as Abi and I have a very tumultuous relationship.  We are both stubborn passionate firstborns, and more opposite than alike.  So I was glad for these tidbits that my friends passed to me unbeknownst to them.

R is my more seasoned parent friend.  She has children ages 16 on down to 13 months.  I watched her talk to her girl the same age as Abi.  Just talk.  I really liked that.  R talked to her girl like an adult, not like the annoying kid that she was being at the moment (or in moments past).  Like an adult, respectful and curtious, even though the girl didn't deserve to be talked to so nicely (or so I thought!  Ahh, how much I have to learn!)  Lesson gleaned--talk to Abi like you would anyone else, even in the midst of her whining complaining fits.

D and I have kids the same ages.  She showed me that age 3 can still be your baby girl.  I realized that maybe I am pushing my kids to be independent quicker than they might want or need.  After some quick reflecting I saw that shortly after the age of two I went from being the very attached parent to a more 'you are a big kid now you don't need me as much parent'.  As I watch Abi struggle through emotional tirades I am wondering if maybe she just needs a good hug.  She is so bright and I have pushed her along, but perhaps a bit too hard...

C is younger than I but she showed me that it's ok to snuggle with your older kids.  Not just a sit on the couch with your arm around the shoulders, but a lay in my arms while I hold you snuggle.  When I saw her do this I realized how often I long to just sit next to my mom with my head on her shoulder and chat, and I'm almost 29.  How much more these little people must want some seriously snuggly snuggles out of me.

This morning in my home church, Abi and I were standing next to each other singing.  When all of the sudden she wrapped her arms around my waist, laid her head upon my chest and looked up at me.  And we sang ' a thousand hallelujahs' together.  I looked into her wide innocent blue eyes, saw her freckled nose, and glowing face as she sang her heart out to God, and I had to choke back the tears.  This was my little girl singing sweetly to me just as much as to her Maker.  And in that moment God strengthened me, and showed me that I can do it.  I can be the mom for her that I want to be and that she needs me to be.

By His strength and glory alone.  Let it be Father, let it be.