Today is a momentous day. Miles is one and I am letting you into a very sacred place in my heart. I have deliberated sharing this for the last year as intentionally giving birth at home is a very controversial subject. However, it is a wonderful story which needs to be shared.
Regardless of your feelings surrounding the topic, please keep any comments positive. Thank you and enjoy!
Dear Miles,
Your story actually starts a day earlier than when you finally began to come to our lives.
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| Heartburn during labor, just couldn't escape it. |
On Friday I had been having contractions and bloody show sporadically through the day and at 2:30 they picked up in rhythm and intensity. When Abi came home from school I realized I was not handling noises well, so at 3:30 I called Phil at Westridge and told him to come home. He got home and I went and laid down in the dark and quiet. I had my last contraction at 7pm. We optimistically thought that my body was just taking a break and things would pick up later in the night. Nothing happened except painfully crushing heartburn that kept me awake until nearly 3am.
I awoke Saturday, exhausted, angry, and put off that once again my body had stopped. I told Phil to field all phone calls and I decided I was going to pretend that I wasn't pregnant for the day. We spent the day snacking, napping, and watching movies. It was peaceful and just what I needed. As we were putting the kids to bed together that night, I had a pain, Phil asked if it was a contraction to which I replied 'no I don't think so'. We started watching the movie Captain America when I realized that, yes, they actually were contractions. Phil timed them for a while on the pocket watch that I gave him for Christmas one year and to my surprise they were about 6 minutes apart. At 8pm we called Heidi and Rebecca and gave them a pre-notice that maybe something was going on and we'd stay in touch. At 8:30 Phil called Heidi and asked if she was ready to braid some hair and then called Rebecca. When Heidi came, she braided my hair into two french braids. Rebecca arrived shortly after Heidi finished. They were surprised at how upbeat and in good spirits I was. As my back and hips started to get achy, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to get in the tub for some pain relief. But I knew I couldn't get in yet and risk stopping labor! Rebecca started using the contraction timer app on her phone around 10:30 and finally around midnight there was a general consensus that I could get in the water. Oh what bliss and relief! Felling light and in less discomfort I labored for quite a while in the tub. Phil woke the girls up at about 12:30 when I stated I was feeling pushy and that it might not be much longer. They were quite excited that you were
finally going to be born!
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| Rebecca squeezing my hips for contraction relief. Lovely low lighting |
I have to back up for a moment and remember that earlier in the night at the end of a contraction you would wiggle and it would tickle me internally so I would end up laughing, which I think startled those who were there. I loved the atmosphere we had created with the dim light of the salt lamps glowing and the electric fireplace 'flickering' it was so calm and peaceful. Also, as a knitter we prayed that God would bind you off and be born to us soon.
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| This man has been by loving champion through four births and one miscarriage. Words can never express what the heart feels in those moments. |
At 2:17am while laboring in the tub my water broke. There was no popping sensation like I had with my land births, it just felt like I was peeing and peeing. Shortly thereafter things really picked up and started to get intense and I tried breathing you down. I had been hoping to breath you out and use the fetal ejection reflex that I had read about. I started to get really hot, so I stood up and did some semi squats through the contractions. Phil looked and could see you, but I couldn't when handed the mirror.
I got out and labored on the bed and then on the toilet. I found the hip and back pain to be more intolerable there so I opted to get back in the tub. But soon I was much too hot and got out again. Back to the bed I went. By now I was getting exhausted and I realized that the only way I was going to get out of this was by pushing, not breathing. So I started pushing. It was not the welcomed relief that it had been in the past. It was hard and it hurt and I didn't want to do it! Thankfully everyone really upped their encouragements and verbal affirmations. I flipped from hands and knees to semi-reclined. And then I pushed and screamed and I pushed some more. I didn't think you would ever crown, but I wasn't going to quit pushing until you did. Finally your head came out, it looked massive over the peak of my belly. I held you head and waited. Then I felt you rotate and with another loud shriek and push I got you out. For that first second I saw you laying there white (due to vernix but I couldn't see that since I wasn't wearing my glasses) and not moving I thought you were dead. But when daddy picked you up to hand to me you jerked and my split second of sheer terror vanished. I couldn't believe you were covered in vernix as none of your siblings were, and how slippery that made you. I looked up at Abi and said 'what time is it, what time was the baby born?!' In her excitement she stumbled trying to get the time out of her mouth, but finally exclaimed '4:17!'
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| He's here! |
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| First family shot |
You took a few lusty cries and then promptly settled down as I gently rubbed in the vernix. Soon we took a peek to discover you were a boy! I remarked that I thought I had felt little boy parts in my hand that was supporting your bottom. Then Abi ran upstairs and woke Wesley up so he could meet you. In about 10 minutes after you were born I felt the placenta detach. I told the gals to fetch the bowl. On the first push just some blood and clots came out. Pushed again in another minute or two and voila there came the placenta. We broke out the sparkling juice and toasted your birth. I found it humorous that you wouldn't nurse on the right side which has been everyone else's favorite side. As the adrenaline started to wear off, we realized that you needed to have your cord burned. Lizzi decided she was too scared and tired, so Phil took her place. It was beautiful watching Phil and Abi burn your cord to sever the link between you and the placenta. The smell reminded me of our last camp fire. Once that was completed, and I had eaten my eggs and toast, was washed and checked for tears, none-hooray!
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| cord burning |
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| Miles so attentive during cord burning |
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| first weighing |
We got you ready to be weighed and measured. Phil put you in the sling and then hung it on the digital fish scale. The math revealed 9lbs 8ozs. None of them believed it as they thought you were around 8. So Phil hopped on Heidi's scale and then again with you in his arms. The original amount stood as once again it weighed you at 9lbs 8ozs! then we pulled out the tape measure to find you were 21 inches long. Your head was 14.5 inches and you chest 14 inches.
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| second weighing + some snuggles with daddy |
Finally we could settle in for sleep. The girls were tucked in upstairs, Wesley's mattress was made near the bookcase, you were snuggled up on daddy's chest shortly after 6am. And so began the start of our newly revised family.
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| falling asleep on daddy |
Miles, it is my wish, just as I stated for your toast, that you will grow into your name. May you be a soldier for Christ, loving many people to the Lord, and may you be a gift in other's lives like you are to us. May you also be a hero to your wife, and support her in a dream, whether you share it or not. As a a friend said--you were worth it all--and I love you my sweet son.
His mama wondered if he would like his cake or not. He was such a trooper and kept trying his cake over and over again.
He liked the chip nose. After trying a nibble of the popcorn ball he threw it, after all it was ball shaped! 
