Land Saga

It has been brought to my attention that I haven't written about our land.  Not sure how that slipped through my fingers as it's story is quite large in our lives!

For a few years now, our family has shared the dream to buy a little farm and live as much off of the land as possible.  For a long time it was just talk, and dreams, and more talk.  Then we started looking.  Checking landwatch.org, realtor.com, even craigslistings.  Not finding anything that was remotely in our price range I wondered if I was missing something.  I contacted my friend who designs homes for her husbands construction business.  I found out that I was doing it right, but when I mentioned our price range she told me that they had a little piece of land that fit my description and she'd talk to her husband about selling it to us.

We met up with them and their land, and were pretty excited, it was just what we were looking for.  The initial offer was a bit more than we liked but considering it was on the edge of town it was worth pursuing.  Then just as quickly as it started it was over.  They had second thoughts and decided that they weren't ready to part with the land.  I was bummed, but it just renewed our resolve to keep looking.

A few months later for our tenth anniversary, Phil gave me a picture of a farm painting that we had seen at an art museum in Kansas City.  On the back he had written 'may all our dreams come true'.  I insisted that he hang it over our bed to inspire us to not give up as we were starting to think that perhaps this would be more of a later in life opportunity.

Fast forward a half a year, with the garden in full swing I was checking quite frequently for land as the dream was burning bright.  I saw a craigslisting--five acres for $28,000 12 miles from Grand Island--probably a scam but just in case not I quickly sent a message to Phil in the off chance that it was valid.  He returned from camp the next day and promptly went out to investigate the acreage as the owner happened to be available.  I was impressed that the gal was home (July 3) and willing to show someone around.  The report was a bit dismal.  A hayfield.  No trees.  No house.  No well.  Nothing.  Just a hayfield the owner wanted to sell to finance her daughter's college classes.

I wasn't really that interested, after all my dreams included lots of mature shade trees for me to sit under and watch the kids play.  Besides we couldn't afford to build a house!  Not on a one income household.  With that one income being teachers' wages.  Phil was insistent that we could.  He also said that there are always compromises in real estate.  According to Phil our dreams were like a triangle there were the points of location, price, land.  We couldn't get them all in our price range and to get two out of three was a good deal.

Phil spoke with some realtors and found out that this was an amazing price for land, even if it was completely undeveloped.  Then Phil started wooing me over to the idea.  We could build a home inside a quoncet.  If we do most of the work ourselves, we can make it work with our budget.  Being the visual learner I am, Phil got to work on a home designing program and drew up our dream home.  Then he did the layout for the land.  At first it drove him bonkers to have zero parameters to work with as a hayfield is a complete blank slate.  Now he really appreciates the fact that we get to design everything the way we want it to be.  Where the orchards will go.  The berry patches, vineyards, garden, chickens, maybe even a cow and pig.  A blank slate is as exciting as it is exhausting.  You can run yourself ragged with ideas we have learned.

It was slightly terrifying signing all the papers that go along with buying real estate.  It didn't seem quite real that we are owners of five acres until the first mortgage payment hit.  I'm sure that Dave Ramsey would cringe to know that we now make two mortgage payments, but as Phil put it sometimes you have to stretch yourself for your dreams and take that leap of faith.  Our faith has been tested, but that story is for another day.

So what's the plan now you ask?  Right now we are slowly working at fixing all those little things that need to happen before selling a home.  We're hoping to be ready by early springtime to put it up on the market.  We'll move in with Phil's mom for a few months (good thing we all love each other so much or this would never work!) while pre-construction things are happening like the driveway being put in, a well and septic dug, power lines brought in, and a foundation poured.  We figure by then it will be summer and we will start building our little dream home.  The goal is to be done and ready by the end of next summer, which we realize might be a bit lofty but we've got to have something to shoot for!

There you have it, the beginning saga of a girl who leads a slow paced life and doesn't like changes is willingly embarking upon a journey that will most assuredly change her life.

A Story Worth Telling

I had kind of given up on this blog.  I was done, tired of trying to find things to write about.  Things that I thought others would find interesting.  I even told some of my closest friends that I was over it.

 But I guess I'm not.

I have loved writing for as long as I can remember (well not the whole process that us teachers make it out to be in school...), especially when it is putting pencil to paper.  It's such a tactile experience, the smell of lead, the scratch of the pencil on the paper, the feel of it as your hand slowly glides across.  The view of words sprawling out in lines to fill the page.  Blogging just isn't the same, but since I have no idea how to upload my scribbles into viewable fashion typing will just have to do for now.

See, I've been encouraged that I have plenty to write about.  Phil has said it to me when I've complained that I don't have anything--you have much to tell, you just edit too much--or something along those lines.  Jackie my pastors wife has been prompting people to tell their story, that there is someone who needs to hear it.  Friends have told me how inspired and encouraged they when reading my blog.  Even the devotional I read with the kids (which hits me harder than my own most days, funny how He does that eh?) has been themed with discovering your talents and sharing them with the world.  The final straw came from this new blog that I've been loving to read.  Joshua Becker from Becoming Minimalist said about journaling is to "recognize our need.  Your story is important and is meant to be shared.  It may be unique to you, but we desperately need to read it.  Make sure we can."

Yup, ok, kick in the pants noted.

So while I'd rather be quietly knitting pretending that I have nothing to offer the world outside my four walls I've been prompted to write.  I've got a story worth telling, and it's mine.  It may seem dull and redundant to others, but it is the life I lead.  It is the life that I have chosen, and while there are times that I would love to be anywhere other than where I'm at (who doesn't?), I can't ever decide where that would be.

Today's story snippets go like this:

1. I amazed my Abi at breakfast today by having leftover soup instead of eggs and toast.  She doesn't think that eggs and toast count as breakfast since I usually have that six out of seven days of the week.
2. I witnessed the triumphant look on Lizzi's face as she read from one of her little primer books with minimal assistance.
3. I heard Wesley ask me to 'pray for our food' and 'let's eat to-ge-dur mom'
4. I could barely hold Miles as he wiggled a dance during our school music time

And since I hate ending and endings--until the next time--Adieu!

When Does It End?

Last week as I sat around a table with a bunch of wonderful ladies the conversation took a turn that I hadn't expected.  The body bashing began, those beautiful women who sat around the table so full of laughter and life listed off their parts that they'd like to change.  Phrases like 'lifestyle lift', 'boob job', and 'plastic surgery' started floating around.  I started to wonder when does it end?  When do we quit feeling like we have to be perfectly shaped?  Why can't we just love ourselves for who we are and how we've gotten there?  I'm not saying I've got it figured out by any means.  It's hard to love your body through different seasons of life--teenager, pregnancy, postpartum, and menopause.

I used to think that my mom was crazy for never dying her hair.  Why would she want to look her age when she's got little kids in the house?  Why not wear a touch of makeup and take a few years off?  I'm starting to get it though.  As I've watched hairs on my own head turn from brown to white I've pondered coloring my hair.  One day sitting in church I looked out at the sea of ladies heads before me, I realized that almost everyone had these perfect highlights and colored hair.  It dawned on me that no hair stylist could ever create as many nuances of color in my hair as time and living could.  Thankfully I have a spouse who loves me just the way I am and when asked his opinion on whether or not to color my hair he told me no.  He also looks at me like I've come from an alien planet when I wear makeup and asks why I'm wearing it.  Blessed am I.

I remember a few years ago when Jamie Lee Curtis did an expose for a magazine.  The only caveat?  Absolutely no touchups.  Here's a picture in case you didn't see it.  http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-style/pictures/unretouched-celebs-2010204/7761  She quickly became my hero, and the first step on my way back to real beauty.

The dove beauty campaign ads strike a deep chord with me as well.

What really shattered my perception of my body was reading this book--http://www.amazon.com/Hungry-Appetite-Ambition-Ultimate-Embrace/dp/B005GNKEWA/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1379985307&sr=8-2&keywords=hungry.  It's a page turner story of a girl who gets recruited into the modeling industry, battles an eating disorder to obtain the perfect body, finally decides she's had enough and finds her way back to health.  The pictures of her 'perfect' self were shocking.  She looks void of life and energy.  The pictures of her once she had gained some weight and learned to love her body were stunning.  So vivacious, alive, and the same size as me.  I stared long and hard at her, unable to believe my eyes.  This lady is a model, my size, and is a model?!  My beauty warped brain could not comprehend that information at first.  As I kept looking I tried envisioning my face instead of hers.  It was quite possibly one of the first times that I could see myself as 'stunning' with the ability to turn heads.  It made me realize that maybe I was beautiful too.

It is wonderful that time can help heal wounds.  I was trying on my old jeans not to long ago curious if my hips had slimmed down yet.  They haven't, and I don't know if they ever will.  But when I found my skinny jeans and held them up my jaw went slack.  I held them up and couldn't believe that I used to wear them.  And that when I wore them I thought I was fat and undesirable.  How sad my viewpoint was not so long ago!  I am happy to be able to truthfully say that I am more comfortable in my own skin now (two sizes larger than those jeans) than I ever was then.

I don't know all the answers but I can share what I've found on my beauty journey.  Accepting compliments on my looks has been tough, but probably the biggest factor.  I choose to believe that when my mom, mom in law, sister, best friends, mom friends, husband, and children say I look pretty I must look pretty.  As much as I love a good conspiracy theory, it seems rather far fetched that so many people would be out there lying to me and saying I look good, right?

My second tip is this--find an amazing photographer and do a session together.  Phil took my maternity pictures while pregnant with Miles.  There was one picture that I was in awe.  That lady was me.  That beautiful, breath taking beauty, was me.  To see yourself through some one else's eyes will do you more good than you could ever know.

I would love to see more women join me and walk on this path to real beauty.  Not what's airbrushed in magazine, or fabricated on tv.  Real women loving themselves through the daily grind, and loving others to that same spot.

I'm curious to see where I am in a few more years.  What will I think of myself?  What will my self talk be like?  Perhaps I'll be beautiful in my own mind as much as I am in others'.  For now I'm pretty, and that's good enough for me.

Child Like Faith

You know what's so affirming as a mother?  Pieces of faith being demonstrated in my children.  I always wonder if I teach and live by example enough to demonstrate Christ to my wee ones.  My heart was warmed today on the drive to church.  Wesley started asking questions about God.  Who is he?  Where does he live?  How come I can't see him?

I didn't even get a chance to respond when Lizzi pipped up.
"Wesley, you know about germs right?"
"Yes"
"Well Wesley, God is like germs, you can't see him but you can see what He does!"

She continued to explain to him that we can see God in everything all around us.
 "Look Wesley, we can see God working right now because He's making it rain!"

"Oh!"  Came his excited reply.

I smiled all the way to church, and through church.  In fact as I sit here typing this, my heart is still smiling to know that my children have child like faith.

Matt 19:14
Jesus said "Let the children come to me.  Don't stop them!  For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children."

This New Season

This new season of life has kept my wheels spinning throughout the day, but I am loving teaching Lizzi and Wesley.  To see their faces light up when they discover something new makes the daily grind worth it all.  I might not be getting paid in dollars for my degree, but it is being put to good use!

We took some dried beans and placed them in a ziplock bag on a wet washcloth to watch them sprout.  We were pretty surprised at how fast they started.  After forgetting about them for two days we were shocked today to find that the roots had grown through the washcloth and had outgrown the bag.  This led to an impromptu visit to the garden.  Those beans' roots were already to big for the tiny pots we had in the house.  While in the garden we got distracted by the tomatoes that have just finally come ripe this week.  In the midst of picking I noticed a bumblebee visiting the nearby hosta plant.  Since we have been reading all about flowers, visitors, pollination I quickly stopped them so they could see pollination in action.  Hushed whispers as we talked about the pollen that was visible on the bees back, and how he was drinking nectar and while there transferring the pollen to the next flower.  They were so excited to see their science lessons right there before their eyes.  When the bee left we checked our strawberry patch and found another half dozen needing our attention with more almost ready.  Then we got back to the planting of our bean seeds.

Our math curriculum has a game called Go To The Dump.  It's a version of Go Fish, but instead of making matches your pair has to total ten.  I was skeptical that Lizzi would be able to do that since we had just finished our lesson on the number ten.  She was so insistent on trying that I couldn't deny her the opportunity to try.  With the abacus by her side we played for a good long while before she wore out.

Lizzi heads over to our elementary school for PE/Music, lunch and recess Monday through Thursday.  When she does I try to make a point to interact specifically with Wesley.  Today however, he was much to enthralled playing with Miles to be bothered at the beginning.  Wesley would laugh then Miles would laugh.  Wesley would take off running down the hall shouting at Miles to follow him.  Miles would then crawl while giggling and try and catch up.  The only thing better than kids laughing together is them sleeping together!  After that we went outside to watch Wesley ride his balance bike.  Miles was enamored and couldn't take his eyes off of brother.  Wesley was so happy to have our rapt attention that he tried some tricks on his 'motorcycle' for us.  I was impressed that he could put his feet up on the support bar while turning around.  He's come a long ways since getting his little balance bike back in June.

I know that I don't write as much about Abi and our interactions.  It's the downside to her being in public school instead of at home.  However, she has given my heartstrings some tugs lately.  She has again been accepted on Dodge's Character Council.  I love seeing her leadership abilities grow.  It makes all the years of butting heads worth it.  She is growing up to be an amazing little gal.  This past Sunday she asked if she could make breakfast.  With a resounding yes she made a double batch of chocolate chip muffins from beginning to end.  All I had to do was lick the whisk when she was done and enjoy not having to make breakfast for that day or the next.

I'm starting to feel more balanced.  The first few weeks had left me high and dry for my friendship time.  After a wise homeschooling mom said I'd have to figure out which relationships to nurture and which to let go, I realized that I needed to just set appointments with those that I need close to me.  I was also very convicted about my internet time during that meeting.  I'm confident that as my self discipline takes me down this road, I will reclaim my time from the computer back to the crafts that I've been missing.  So pardon me as I boot myself off of here now to go and get my craft on for a few minutes before the babe awakes!

Coming up for Air

A dear friend once said something along the lines of 'we home schooled and home schooled all morning and when I came up for air I saw it was time for lunch.'

That was exactly how our first day of home schooling felt yesterday.  Lizzi was such an excited participant that she was ready to start at 7:40am!  Thankfully she was gracious enough to allow me to finish my breakfast and start a load of laundry first.  Then it was off to the races for us.  Both Lizzi and Wesley were thrilled to sing songs, read books, and conduct rudimentary science experiments.  I found such delight in watching them discover some of air's properties in those experiments.

We were all having such a marvelous time that we had to rush out the door before finishing our math games.  After walking Lizzi to our local elementary school for PE/Music/Lunch/Recess we walked home and started Wesley's school.  He is so eager to be like his big sisters and 'do school'.  I discovered that he is quite gifted at puzzles just like Lizzi (Abi and I don't share that gift with those two, that is for certain!), knows most of his colors, and some of his shapes.  He loved watching the videos on the letter A that the Easy Peasy Homeschool Website has listed.  By the way, that is a free website so if you are wanting or needing some educational material check it out!  We made lunch together, went and got Lizzi then came back home to finish our reading and math.

The afternoon was a flurry of housework and putting up more vegetables.  By evening time I was worn out and probably could have gone to bed right alongside the children.  However, there was still breakfast to prep and the double checking of lessons for today.  Once I finished that work I debated the value of self care vs sleep for my weary body.  I opted for a small portion of self care with an early bedtime.  I read through one of the cookbooks I brought home from my grandma's collection and really enjoyed reading some recipes from days gone by.  If you want a lesson from some old fashioned cooking check out Suet Pudding.  If only I was half as clever and resourceful as my relatives.  With a smile on my face I put myself to bed ready for another day of 'coming up for air.'

First Solo Canning

I have wanted to can for a few years now, but the thought of it has terrified me.  Last summer I got to can grape jelly with Phil's grandma in her kitchen.  This summer I made pickled beets with his Mom in my own kitchen.  It made more sense after having gone through the process twice.  I was especially appreciative of Rose's willingness to work on the project in my kitchen.  There is something to be said about learning how a detailed process goes in ones own workspace.  

Today I got the nerve up to try canning on all on my own.

 A lovely friend had given me a large amount of zucchini from her garden.  I didn't want to use up freezer space, plus I really wanted to try canning as it's a needed skill.  In my world at least!  The internet proved to be quite the ally in finding some unique ways to use zucchini.  This one for relish really caught my eye and I couldn't get it out of my head.  I told Rose about it and she graciously gave a few peppers from her garden (as mine are just finally starting to produce!)  and well wished me on my way.

Zealous, I started out shredding all the zucchini, onions, and peppers (thank heavens for my food processor).  I knew that the vegetables needed to soak overnight, but when morning came I lost my nerve and chickened out.  Finally four days later I told myself if you don't do it today all that food and hard work is going to go to waste.  I took a deep breath, set up the kitchen and went about canning my relish.

I am so proud of myself!  Everything went smoothly, no burns, no broken glass, no wasted food.  The jars all sealed properly and I even had enough extra to have with my lunch.  It is super yummy.  My friend the self proclaimed pickle hater said it 'wasn't bad, and definitely better than pickle relish'.

 If you have an excess of zucchini laying around I highly recommend trying out this recipe, it's great.   I loved how you could tasted all the individual flavors and yet they all blended so well in my mouth.  I think it's going to be a winner on our sandwiches tonight!

The Zuchinni Relish Recipe  http://www.food.com/recipe/zucchini-relish-236998

Four jars of Zuccini Relish

See that awesome vintage pepsi bottle in the back left corner?   That's a little gift from my sweetie who knows my love of old glass.

The next vegetable up to bat are the cucumbers that were given.  Pickles here I come!